Comic 981 - Whatever That Was

4th Aug 2017, 6:06 PM in Ch. 33 - The Calm
Whatever That Was
Average Rating: 4.91 (11 votes)
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Author Notes:

Jocelyn 4th Aug 2017, 6:06 PM edit delete
Fun fact: This is a true story. Like in Rain's case, it wasn't serious, but my first kiss was with a girl in kindergarten, and I was made fun of for it until the seventh or eighth grade. I was super-closeted as a kid, so my gender identity played can't have played a part. I guess besides being quiet, kissing a girl was all they had on me. Elementary/Middle school is a weird time. XD

Once I got to high school, the teasing stopped. This is a little off-topic, but in my case, I didn't really get bullied or teased or... well, acknowledged really. I guess not having bullies was a plus, but I had very few friends too. I was pretty invisible. I have a hard time calling that an improvement. This is where Rain's story and mine differ, as she continued to get picked on (although the insults grew up).

There're a couple Chapter A references on this page. In the first panel, there're two random little girls off to the side, watching Rain and Allison's kiss. They're actually based on the same girls who make fun of Rain on one particular page. They're not terribly important, but it fit for them to be there. I probably had names for them way back when I wrote that chapter, but I don't remember what they were and it doesn't really matter. Make up your own names, if you like. ;P

In the last panel, Rain also touches her cheek while mentioning a "bad result from coming out". Allison slapped her when she came out back then, thinking Rain was making fun of her, but she has since apologized.

Anyway, that's enough yammering out of me. I hope you like the page, and feel free to share your thoughts on anything, as always. ^_^

Rain, all characters and all other aspects of the story are copyright material belonging to me.

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Jocelyn 5th Aug 2017, 2:12 PM edit delete
Hey, Rain Beaus. This is kinda out of the blue - and I'm really sorry to do this - but I think I need to take a bit of a hiatus.

In favor of being completely forward with you, I've been kinda stressed out for a while. Not so much with the comic, but life in general. And while my anxiety isn't stemming from the comic, per se, it's not helping. My struggle to balance everything going on in my personal life has been leading to my very frequently slapping pages together the day they go up. And when I have time to start rebuilding my page buffer, life happens for a week, and it all goes away again. It's frustrating - downright maddening sometimes - and I worry about having my frazzled rush to finish pages becoming apparent, because you deserve better.

And even through this, I was tempted to keep going through to the end of the chapter (which still honestly has a few weeks left). But as of this week I've been experiencing some nasty tendonitis in my drawing wrist, preventing me from drawing, killing my buffer again, and leaving me with nothing for the next page, and no way to even make a new page right now.

To top it all off, I had my first panic attack in over a year last night. It's becoming abundantly clear that maybe I ought to allow myself a break. Pushing myself any more than I already am is not going to help, so I'm going to just take this hiatus while I can.

I am sorry to drop this all on you out of nowhere, and I'm definitely sorry for the short notice hiatus, but I really think I just need to do this right now. I don't want you to worry about me though; I'll be okay. This hiatus is to assure exactly that, after all. This break will not be permanent, and I promise to let you know when I'm ready to come back as soon as I can.

Thank you so much, as always, for your understanding and your patience with me.
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Guest 4th Aug 2017, 6:34 PM edit delete reply
Nicky1968 4th Aug 2017, 7:17 PM edit delete reply
Ok... weird... I had my first kiss in 1st grade. I knew her since I was 4. She was my best friend. (I'm AMAB)

Never had many friends. Usually just one or two. Getting bullied ended in like 7th grade for me. I didn't realize I'm trans until I was 47 though.
cherrycherie 13th Mar 2022, 5:57 PM edit delete reply
I’m not trans, but my first kiss was in third grade, with one of my best friends at the time. It was very impulsive and honestly I’m kinda ashamed of it because looking back it seems like assault… and then I spent the next five years insisting I was a heterosexual and holding up my crush on a friend of mine who turned out to be a trans girl as an example. good memories
Reimi 4th Aug 2017, 7:30 PM edit delete reply
I never felt comfortable with myself, so I never really had anything close to relationships until after coming out. Now I have a boyfriend who literally had to catch me during my first kiss, my legs gave out. XD
Reimi 4th Aug 2017, 9:02 PM edit delete reply
Also, my avatar image is what he used to break the ice, it caught me by so much surprise that he took the time to draw it. Then he asked me out. (and yes, he already knew about my being trans, it is a non issue to him)
RubyRuthNeal 4th Aug 2017, 7:33 PM edit delete reply
My story has some rather similar features. I really discovered I was trans in 3rd grade. Didn't know what to call it back then, I just knew I was a girl inside. My parents agreed to let me grow my hair long again as long as I made good grades so starting in 4th grade, I pretty much made straight 100s/As on everything and tried to dress as girly as I was able to get away with in early 1970s Texas. I rarely got bullied or teased because eveyone considered me to be a brainiac and that got me respect. In middle school and high school I got the occasional accusation of being gay but not by my classmates... moreso from my neighbors and my older sisters' boyfriends. I was the shortest, skinniest, and scrawniest kid in my class and that probably helped because nobody who was predisposed to being a bully wanted to get caught picking on someone half their size. In high school, I had one of the coolest hotrod cars in town and that earned me some respect and admiration too. When I moved away to a big city by myself to start college in 1980, I tried going out in public in girl mode a few times and actually passed since I didn't finish puberty until about age 27 and looked rather effeminate anyway. I researched what it would take to "get a sex change" ( the term transitioning wasn't yet in the vernacular of the day) in 1980-81 and what I learned then put me in the closet for the next 35 years. I never even kissed a girl until I was 22. I was the epitome of a loser. Never had a successful intimate relationship my entire life. In 2016 at age 54, I finally had to accept who and what I was, and this explained everything, so I began my transition and the rest is history. Just completed 11 months of HRT this week and can't believe how quickly this first year has gone by...

And I know I've probably mentioned this before, but in August 2016, I discovered Rain and binge read all episodes in one weekend. I fell in love with the story and this is what gave me the final push I needed to start HRT. So again, and from the bottom of my heart... THANK YOU JOCELYN!!!!! Your creation of this story might very well have saved my life. No joke. I am indebted to you.
Cejuan25 4th Aug 2017, 7:33 PM edit delete reply
DanielleA 5th Aug 2017, 4:27 AM edit delete reply
I love this webcomic because it is so realistic and relivent. The twists and turns that the characters go through make for great reading. Keep up the good work Jocelyn.
Torne 5th Aug 2017, 4:36 AM edit delete reply
Me thinks I see a connection between this and the group's latest girl perhaps? Tick Tock ^_^
Guest 5th Aug 2017, 7:13 PM edit delete reply
Why does Rain talk to her girlfriend like she's writing onto an internet forum? "And now I'm getting off-topic."
Kelabeth 6th Aug 2017, 8:31 PM edit delete reply
That's completely legit though. I say that IRL all the time.
Some Ed 6th Aug 2017, 11:40 PM edit delete reply
I've known a number of people who say that in real life. I think it's more common among those people I know who have had a lot of training in giving presentations than among those who post a lot online.
Anastasia 11th Aug 2017, 5:19 PM edit delete reply
I say that too. But that's mostly from having conversations that last like 10 hours, and sometimes we get distracted :P
SilentNight 5th Aug 2017, 8:42 PM edit delete reply
Take some good time to relax Jocelyn, you're fantastic and deserve all the time you need!
Drumada 6th Aug 2017, 11:24 AM edit delete reply
Take all the time you need! I know how panic attacks feel (especially in the dead of night) and I don't wish that on anyone! We'll all be here when you come back :)
Kelabeth 6th Aug 2017, 8:33 PM edit delete reply
Speaking as somebody with an anxiety disorder, I know how real that is. Take care of yourself, we'll be here waiting for you when you're better. Self-care is vitally important. You're an amazing storyteller and artist and you've touched my and many other lives in a very positive way. I hope you feel better soon and can destress. <3
Sissa 7th Aug 2017, 10:37 PM edit delete reply
Guess it's a good time to share some of my Rain fanart. Hope you feel better soon, Jocelyn!
Amy 9th Aug 2017, 4:25 AM edit delete reply
We want your full attention on Rain, so we can CONTINUE to enjoy it as much as we do, So take as much time as you need.
Samantha 14th Aug 2017, 8:55 AM edit delete reply
First kiss was in about 6th grade.
Guest 17th Aug 2017, 9:03 PM edit delete reply
And here I am in the English equivalent to 11th Grade and still have never had a first kiss. My only relationship lasted 2 and a half days until they told me they couldn't date a girl. So Rain's doing better than me in that regard :p
Reimi 18th Aug 2017, 9:22 PM edit delete reply
I only recently had my first kiss at 27, don't give up hope.
Guest 30th Apr 2019, 12:17 PM edit delete reply
Cooties turn you trans :P
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