To start, I'm just going to say that I'm actually going to go out of my way to not have too many two-pagers this chapter. There were so many in the last chapter, it was kinda killing me, so I'm keeping it as light as I can. This instance in particular is an exception because it was written as one page, but I don't know how I thought that was all going to fit on just one page. XD
Anyway, getting on-topic: I can't claim to speak for all trans women, but physicality in a relationship can be tricky when one party is repulsed by their own anatomy. Even in the case of Rain and Emily who aren't doing anything more than kissing. Rain's body will respond to certain stimuli whether she wants it to or not. And then there's "morning wood", which is just kinda what happens when she wakes up. Whatever the cause, it's hard to deal with when you don't want it. And as though it has a mind of it's own, it does not like to be ignored...
If I may be very honest, when my wife and I first started going out, I was afraid of her even looking at that part of me. But then she said stuff like, "So what? You're still a woman" without batting an eyelash. It doesn't erase the dysphoria, but it did (eventually) make me at least a little less self-conscious around her. And that's what I was going for with Emily here. She knew about Rain's body going into this, and she accepts that and tries to take as neutral a stance as she can. It doesn't solve the issue, but maybe in time it can help not freak out so much over genuinely accidental contact.
On a side note, as a disclaimer I should say that some trans folk have less/no qualms with the parts they were born with. I don't want to give off the idea that hating your body is a requirement for being transgender, because it really isn't. We all experience transness differently. It's just that in the case of Rain (and myself) she is exceedingly uncomfortable with her anatomy.
Have I thanked you for writing this lately? I know I've thanked you for writing this before, but lately?
Well, thank you.
For this scene, most recently. This is my most recent reason for wanting to give you a big giant hug, Jocelyn. You are a gifted author and capture many common (though of course, there are no universal-) aspects of MtF trans experience, as I understand them, wonderfully and poignantly. Furthermore, you inspire. You have an incredible gift. Thank you for using it in this way. <3
Yeah, sorry. That's why I'm screening comments for the time being. Some lame troll(s) with nothing better to do than post really inappropriate - and really unfunny - jokes (I swear I always get the lamest trolls). Hopefully, this will redirect them somewhere else.
There are trolls everywhere. Even I had some in my original site, and I was (and still am) way less popular than you. However, due to the nature of your subject I think you do well to moderate, because some people might bring THEIR issues against your readers here and that's not something you should allow. This is YOUR comic, so if they don't like it, they can go read something else, of which there is plenty.
I relate so much. I had pretty much the same situation as Jocelyn there... My girlfriend did the best she could and encouraged me that it didn't change how she saw me, and it really helped.
There is hope out there! There are people who will accept you, even when you bear it all!
I know that feeling... It can be so embarrassing and kinda feeling wrong at the same time, and the few times it happened to me I had panic attacks despite how many times my ex tried to reassure me.
This might just be me, but I swear Rain's face looks slightly different whenever we see her just waking up. I wish I could find a better way of putting it, but she looks more boy-ish. Deliberate artistic choice or am I crazy?
I feel this so much. Don't even talk to me about cars, too. Just the raw mechanics of the average automobile seems to be enough to fool the average you-know-what, and it's incredibly uncomfortable. Any instance of it makes me really self conscious, but when it's just for no reason or when I'm trying to cuddle makes it really annoying.
I am one of those who is not put off by the anatomy I was born with, but darned if it isn't inconvenient at times. Within my personal LGBT circle, there is one woman who has expressed extreme body dysphoria, and I feel for her.
Thank you for the way you are approaching this topic. It is both poignant and stupidly adorable at the same time.
I love your comic. I don't think I'll ever be able to take steps like you or Rain, but this still gives me hope abs let's me dream. Thank you, so much!!
I squeed sooo hard >~< I'd half expected the scene to just move to the next day at school after the chapter end, but then this yay happened! :D SO much yay and cute! And am I the only one who thinks Rain's hair looks really adorable here?
♥ Bonus points for being able to rock a bedhead ♥
Man, loved ones feeling accidental erections at innapropriate times sucks enough already when you're comfortable with your parts. It's gotta be a thousand times worse when you add dysphoric feelings on top of that.
I daydream often (and to be honest, I don't think it's healthy to do it this much...), and I often found myself thinking "it would be way too much embarassing if it actually happens, there's those things >.<". It must be even worse when you're really experiencing it.
One of the therapists I was speaking with when I actually started acting on my transness seemed a little confused when I told her that getting SRS wasn't the first thing on my mind. I remember her asking "How do you think it sounds to an outsider when you say you don't want to get surgery." Needless to say, I am not seeing her anymore.
For me (an ftm), I feel comfortable enough with my remaining anatomy (got chest surgery, hysterectomy, and oopherectomy) by myself, but in relation to other people, I feel so insecure about it. I've never let anyone see it or touch it besides doctors, not even my ex. I trusted him completely, and he let me know he was into it either way, but I just never let him see me in less than my underwear, even when we were having sex. I was just always worried that he might see me differently in some unexplainable way and that I'd never be able to take it back. I mean, I love sex even if I'm only giving and it's not reciprocated, but I do wish I could be less self conscious and be able to be touched by other people because I feel like it really limits me sexually and because of this as well as the parts I have, I'm afraid to offer myself sexually to anyone because why would they when they can just go do it with someone who doesn't have all these issues? There isn't really anyone I can talk about this stuff to, except maybe my ex, but since he's cis, he can sympathize, but not fully understand.
I was never repulsed by the downstairs. I guess I do disassociate a bit with intimacy, but it took me years to realize that was happening. My bottom dysphoria flares up occasionally, but it’s pretty low key compared to what a lot of trans women seem to face. Either way, I’m glad I ultimately decided for bottom surgery and I’m looking forward to it!
Poor Rain :(
It's almost as though trans folks come in all shapes, sizes and identities. ^_^
I'm going to be temporarily screening comments. Feel free to post as you normally would. Just know it might not appear right away for a little while.
Sorry for the inconvenience, everyone.
Well, thank you.
For this scene, most recently. This is my most recent reason for wanting to give you a big giant hug, Jocelyn. You are a gifted author and capture many common (though of course, there are no universal-) aspects of MtF trans experience, as I understand them, wonderfully and poignantly. Furthermore, you inspire. You have an incredible gift. Thank you for using it in this way. <3
Yeah, sorry. That's why I'm screening comments for the time being. Some lame troll(s) with nothing better to do than post really inappropriate - and really unfunny - jokes (I swear I always get the lamest trolls). Hopefully, this will redirect them somewhere else.
Also poor Rain
Also, also Raimily OTP Ship is 100% canon *squee* (happy fangirling noises)
There are trolls everywhere. Even I had some in my original site, and I was (and still am) way less popular than you. However, due to the nature of your subject I think you do well to moderate, because some people might bring THEIR issues against your readers here and that's not something you should allow. This is YOUR comic, so if they don't like it, they can go read something else, of which there is plenty.
Good job.
There is hope out there! There are people who will accept you, even when you bear it all!
Cis females get them, Trans females get them, completely natural.
This is just too cute
Am I the only cis male that hates those? I'm ace so I might be biased but I CANNOT STAND THEM AAAA
Now I kinda feel bad for resting my head in your lap all the time ;w;
Thank you for the way you are approaching this topic. It is both poignant and stupidly adorable at the same time.
♥ Bonus points for being able to rock a bedhead ♥
*Hugs Rain*
Dunno what's worse though ^^;