Comic 825 - First Thing in the Morning

26th Apr 2016, 6:30 PM in Ch. 29: Transitions
First Thing in the Morning
Average Rating: 4.83 (12 votes)
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Author Notes:

Jocelyn 26th Apr 2016, 6:30 PM edit delete
To start, I'm just going to say that I'm actually going to go out of my way to not have too many two-pagers this chapter. There were so many in the last chapter, it was kinda killing me, so I'm keeping it as light as I can. This instance in particular is an exception because it was written as one page, but I don't know how I thought that was all going to fit on just one page. XD

Anyway, getting on-topic: I can't claim to speak for all trans women, but physicality in a relationship can be tricky when one party is repulsed by their own anatomy. Even in the case of Rain and Emily who aren't doing anything more than kissing. Rain's body will respond to certain stimuli whether she wants it to or not. And then there's "morning wood", which is just kinda what happens when she wakes up. Whatever the cause, it's hard to deal with when you don't want it. And as though it has a mind of it's own, it does not like to be ignored...

If I may be very honest, when my wife and I first started going out, I was afraid of her even looking at that part of me. But then she said stuff like, "So what? You're still a woman" without batting an eyelash. It doesn't erase the dysphoria, but it did (eventually) make me at least a little less self-conscious around her. And that's what I was going for with Emily here. She knew about Rain's body going into this, and she accepts that and tries to take as neutral a stance as she can. It doesn't solve the issue, but maybe in time it can help not freak out so much over genuinely accidental contact.

On a side note, as a disclaimer I should say that some trans folk have less/no qualms with the parts they were born with. I don't want to give off the idea that hating your body is a requirement for being transgender, because it really isn't. We all experience transness differently. It's just that in the case of Rain (and myself) she is exceedingly uncomfortable with her anatomy.

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Emily 26th Apr 2016, 6:51 PM edit delete reply
Oof, morning wood is definitely not something I miss happening. I really only get erections when I'm trying to nowadays and i'm very happy that way.

Poor Rain :(
DocMesa 26th Apr 2016, 6:53 PM edit delete reply
"We all experience transness differently."

It's almost as though trans folks come in all shapes, sizes and identities. ^_^
purplespacecats 26th Apr 2016, 7:36 PM edit delete reply
can we all just take a moment to appreciate the preemptive uhauling that happened in this relationship? that's some next level shit
Jocelyn 26th Apr 2016, 7:38 PM edit delete reply

I'm going to be temporarily screening comments. Feel free to post as you normally would. Just know it might not appear right away for a little while.

Sorry for the inconvenience, everyone.
Not-Evil Chase 26th Apr 2016, 7:48 PM edit delete reply
Have I thanked you for writing this lately? I know I've thanked you for writing this before, but lately?

Well, thank you.

For this scene, most recently. This is my most recent reason for wanting to give you a big giant hug, Jocelyn. You are a gifted author and capture many common (though of course, there are no universal-) aspects of MtF trans experience, as I understand them, wonderfully and poignantly. Furthermore, you inspire. You have an incredible gift. Thank you for using it in this way. <3
Zii 26th Apr 2016, 7:51 PM edit delete reply
I hope this is just precautionary and something hasn't already happened...
Reimi 26th Apr 2016, 7:39 PM edit delete reply
What is with the comments lately?
MtF Comrades 26th Apr 2016, 8:25 PM edit delete reply
Just a whole load'a trolls who think they're funny.
Jocelyn 26th Apr 2016, 10:21 PM edit delete reply

Yeah, sorry. That's why I'm screening comments for the time being. Some lame troll(s) with nothing better to do than post really inappropriate - and really unfunny - jokes (I swear I always get the lamest trolls). Hopefully, this will redirect them somewhere else.
j-eagle12212012 27th Apr 2016, 5:48 PM edit delete reply
The lame trolls seem to show up at the worst time.

Also poor Rain

Also, also Raimily OTP Ship is 100% canon *squee* (happy fangirling noises)
Nef 27th Apr 2016, 6:53 PM edit delete reply

There are trolls everywhere. Even I had some in my original site, and I was (and still am) way less popular than you. However, due to the nature of your subject I think you do well to moderate, because some people might bring THEIR issues against your readers here and that's not something you should allow. This is YOUR comic, so if they don't like it, they can go read something else, of which there is plenty.

Good job.
Zii 26th Apr 2016, 7:51 PM edit delete reply
I relate so much. I had pretty much the same situation as Jocelyn there... My girlfriend did the best she could and encouraged me that it didn't change how she saw me, and it really helped.

There is hope out there! There are people who will accept you, even when you bear it all!
Eliza 26th Apr 2016, 7:53 PM edit delete reply
I know that feeling... It can be so embarrassing and kinda feeling wrong at the same time, and the few times it happened to me I had panic attacks despite how many times my ex tried to reassure me.
the61scissors 26th Apr 2016, 8:14 PM edit delete reply
This might just be me, but I swear Rain's face looks slightly different whenever we see her just waking up. I wish I could find a better way of putting it, but she looks more boy-ish. Deliberate artistic choice or am I crazy?
Reimi 26th Apr 2016, 11:18 PM edit delete reply
She doesn't have her hair pin.
QuincyBlue 27th Apr 2016, 12:52 AM edit delete reply
Also, in those panels, she doesn't have those blush lines that she always seems to have.
MtF Comrades 26th Apr 2016, 8:24 PM edit delete reply
Oh god Rain, keep on stay in' cute! You'll get HRT eventually!
Lilith-Sturlson 26th Apr 2016, 8:55 PM edit delete reply
This kids is what I like to call "Lady Boners"

Cis females get them, Trans females get them, completely natural.

This is just too cute
Lemonado Girl 26th Apr 2016, 9:57 PM edit delete reply
Lemonado Girl
I feel this so much. Don't even talk to me about cars, too. Just the raw mechanics of the average automobile seems to be enough to fool the average you-know-what, and it's incredibly uncomfortable. Any instance of it makes me really self conscious, but when it's just for no reason or when I'm trying to cuddle makes it really annoying.
thatguyinthecorner 28th Apr 2016, 2:47 PM edit delete reply
Am I the only cis male that hates those? I'm ace so I might be biased but I CANNOT STAND THEM AAAA

Now I kinda feel bad for resting my head in your lap all the time ;w;
Guest Guy 30th Apr 2016, 3:15 PM edit delete reply
Unintended boners are never fun for anyone. Especially in tight pants
Amanda 27th Apr 2016, 3:40 AM edit delete reply
I am one of those who is not put off by the anatomy I was born with, but darned if it isn't inconvenient at times. Within my personal LGBT circle, there is one woman who has expressed extreme body dysphoria, and I feel for her.

Thank you for the way you are approaching this topic. It is both poignant and stupidly adorable at the same time.
katie newme 27th Apr 2016, 8:55 AM edit delete reply
I love your comic. I don't think I'll ever be able to take steps like you or Rain, but this still gives me hope abs let's me dream. Thank you, so much!!
SayaHeart 27th Apr 2016, 2:25 PM edit delete reply
I squeed sooo hard >~< I'd half expected the scene to just move to the next day at school after the chapter end, but then this yay happened! :D SO much yay and cute! And am I the only one who thinks Rain's hair looks really adorable here?
♥ Bonus points for being able to rock a bedhead ♥
Mina 27th Apr 2016, 7:40 PM edit delete reply
It's adorable indeed! ^^
Scar Man!!! 27th Apr 2016, 3:47 PM edit delete reply
Man, loved ones feeling accidental erections at innapropriate times sucks enough already when you're comfortable with your parts. It's gotta be a thousand times worse when you add dysphoric feelings on top of that.
EpicSD 27th Apr 2016, 4:34 PM edit delete reply
i love this!!<333
KingNolad 27th Apr 2016, 6:31 PM edit delete reply
So cute~ :3
Mina 27th Apr 2016, 7:50 PM edit delete reply
I daydream often (and to be honest, I don't think it's healthy to do it this much...), and I often found myself thinking "it would be way too much embarassing if it actually happens, there's those things >.<". It must be even worse when you're really experiencing it.

*Hugs Rain*
Evalyn-Averis 28th Apr 2016, 9:37 AM edit delete reply
This is so adorable and sooooo true! Certain things going away with hormones was so friggin' nice...
nemo 28th Apr 2016, 10:51 AM edit delete reply
I couldn't think of why they were so irritated and finally thought it must have been Rain's beard stubble. (Oh I curse you - you penetrant beasts!)

Dunno what's worse though ^^;
Yevhenii 29th Apr 2016, 12:11 AM edit delete reply
It took me a minute to remember that she has those body parts. ;-)
Transginger 23rd May 2016, 8:02 PM edit delete reply
One of the therapists I was speaking with when I actually started acting on my transness seemed a little confused when I told her that getting SRS wasn't the first thing on my mind. I remember her asking "How do you think it sounds to an outsider when you say you don't want to get surgery." Needless to say, I am not seeing her anymore.
Roy 28th May 2016, 10:40 PM edit delete reply
For me (an ftm), I feel comfortable enough with my remaining anatomy (got chest surgery, hysterectomy, and oopherectomy) by myself, but in relation to other people, I feel so insecure about it. I've never let anyone see it or touch it besides doctors, not even my ex. I trusted him completely, and he let me know he was into it either way, but I just never let him see me in less than my underwear, even when we were having sex. I was just always worried that he might see me differently in some unexplainable way and that I'd never be able to take it back. I mean, I love sex even if I'm only giving and it's not reciprocated, but I do wish I could be less self conscious and be able to be touched by other people because I feel like it really limits me sexually and because of this as well as the parts I have, I'm afraid to offer myself sexually to anyone because why would they when they can just go do it with someone who doesn't have all these issues? There isn't really anyone I can talk about this stuff to, except maybe my ex, but since he's cis, he can sympathize, but not fully understand.
Anon 29th May 2020, 5:29 AM edit delete reply
Ah good old memories of my first intensely physically intimate relationship and my constant apologising for the how disgusting my anatomy was ahah...
Sean 23rd Jan 2021, 10:53 PM edit delete reply
Does it make me a bad person that the last two panels made me laugh?
Young Elder 21st Nov 2021, 7:43 PM edit delete reply
I was never repulsed by the downstairs. I guess I do disassociate a bit with intimacy, but it took me years to realize that was happening. My bottom dysphoria flares up occasionally, but it’s pretty low key compared to what a lot of trans women seem to face. Either way, I’m glad I ultimately decided for bottom surgery and I’m looking forward to it!
skrbunny 19th Sep 2022, 6:12 AM edit delete reply
ah, this reminds that she hasn't seen the endo/gyno yet.. as someone who helps people set up their medical regimens, i'm pretty interested in that part

(and yes, there are ways of doing things that allow continued function for those who want it... but the typical regimens usually make things stop... which is what most patients seem to want)
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