All That I Am
12th Apr 2016, 12:12 AM in Ch. 28: Love, Trust, and Respect
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All That I Am
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Average Rating: 5 (22 votes)
Author Notes:
Remember that time I said I'd never do another three-pager? ^^;

REALLY early update! You didn't want to wait to see how this turned out. I didn't want an extra day of agonizing over second-guessing myself (interestingly, considering the context). And it's the last post of a very, very long chapter with a hiatus to follow (return date to be announced another time). So, here we are.

Philosophical question for you all: what is more foolish? Trying something even though you know could fail and the consequences for failure could be exceptionally bad? Or not even trying, even though you very well could succeed, and the reward for success would be exceptionally good? Is either really foolish? Is there a right or wrong answer?

Whether or not you agree with Rain and Emily's actions though, it's still what they chose. Maybe it's a mistake. And if so, they'll have to discover that for themselves and learn from it. That's what growing up is. If it's not a mistake, there will surely still be hardships and things to learn in their future. There's no easy answer, because it's almost never black and white.

But looking at this purely in present tense, these girls both have so much weighing on them right now. And if they believe pursuing this feels right, then I hope it works out for them. ^_^

Rain, all characters and all other aspects of the story are copyright material belonging to me.

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User comments:
ROFL my friend woke me up calling my facebook non stop telling me to read rain right away XD
I am squealing and rolling around giggling, I am so happy this finally happened in rain.

Best way to start my birthday EVER!!! (Yes it is a birthday today lol)

Woot!! Joclyn ur the best webcomic writer ever!

BTW I think it will work out because all the things they are going through, being there for each other will only make their bonds stronger.
Mina (Guest)
Happy birthday!
Lemonado Girl
Happy birthday you glorious person
It's my birthday today too, and I agree that this is a great present.
Happy Birthday! =D
Thank you all ^.^
*screams incoherently in lesbish*
I just found this comic, and must confess that I will only start reading it because of your comment. You just made me spill my tea (good thing it's a bit cooled by now)


(Sorry, not getting coherent thought out of me on this one. xP)
DramaDork (Guest)
I've been crying all morning and this is the first thing to make me genuinely smile so that you, Jocelyn
Noelle (Guest)
*cries happily, curls into tiny ball, cries happily, collapses into squeegularity*
Called it ^_^
SilentNight (Guest)
High five!
Mina (Guest)
Shiped it. ^^
Cas (Guest)
Victor (Guest)
To put it simply I will just use an old quote, "Tis better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all." Nothing ever happened by sitting quietly in a room... So to answer your question, it would have been more foolish to walk away from what they have than to go for it and possibly have it not work. JMO
Niceguy Eddie (Guest)
Not trying is ALWAYS worse. Never forget that or believe otherwise! Very well done, Jocelyn!
I think my eardrums just ruptured from a deafening "Squee".
Lemonado Girl
Sorry, that would have been me
RoseArtemis (Guest)

I legit screamed when I read this xD
JohnR (Guest)
At the very least Emily will have some help for some time. And at least they'll have each other for some time. It may not work out, but as someone else observed, it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Yay for Rainily!
inurashii (Guest)
Taxidermy Accident (Guest)
Oh no. Los gritos är i olik 言語!!!
Dan (Guest)
*crosses fingers that this works well for both of them*
Long-Time Lurker (Guest)
Yaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!!!!!! Break my heart and hand me the moon in the same scene. :P

I'm really excited to see where this goes for them. I agree wtih Emily that it *could* turn out bad, and if it might be worse for the baby... but I also picture that if they break up, it'd be amicable and maturely handled where Rain would stay part of the kid's life. I can't picture it being like Emily's parents' situation. Then again, I think they have a really good chance -- as Kitsune_Chan pointed out, all these things they're going through (and already instinctively leaning on each other for support) are just going to make them a stronger couple. They're already acting adorably like a couple unofficially. It's not like making it official will change things all *that* much in terms of their personal dynamic... So yes, given it could negatively impact the child's life if it goes wrong, so it is a bit foolish, BUT I'm with the concensus -- it's more foolish not to try. I think they have a good chance of making it. Here's to hoping! :) And even if they do eventually break up, the child's life will have been enriched more for a few years, so even then it wouldn't be all bad.
-Theo- (Guest)
I mean, this is great...but I was wrong!
-Theo- (Guest)
Yes you were
Im still aboard the SS. Fara/Vincent tho
Mina (Guest)
Living is foolish. Reading is foolish. Talking is foolish. Listening to music is foolish. Breathing is foolish. Working is foolish. Believing that it's not foolish is foolish. Franziska is foolish. Behave and eat cupcakes.
... I'm sorry.

It really depends on the context, but generally speaking, I think that it's worth trying. Though "not even trying, even though I very well could succeed, and the reward for success would be exceptionally good" is currently my coming out status... ^^'
Lemonado Girl
I hope it works out for you eventually. I was in your boat for a long while.
no (Guest)
those first nine sentences are an exceptional quote
The 8th sounds very Zathras, but I'm assuming it's a reference to something else entirely
I guess I'm one of the only people who's a bit surprised they actually got together?

I'm still a bit worried about how things will go for them since they're starting their relationship at one of the most turbulent points in a person's life, but hopefully they can weather through it.

By the way Jocelyn, did you ever expect Emily's character would head in this direction? I know you've done a few things on a whim (Maria and Chanel), and Emily's early pages almost set her up as a potential antagonist. The Emily/Maria relationship had hints to it, but I have to wonder about Raimily.
*dies of happiness*
Catlife333 (Guest)
Ahhhhhhh XD YES!!!!!!!

I'm just going to say that going for it is always worth it (I mean unless your relationship is like harmful/unhealthy). But getting into a relationship is always going to take some risks so I'm glad they went for it! :D That's all just my opinion though of course.

Speaking of which though, I'm planning on asking a girl I know out this week, so hope for the best!
Lemonado Girl
*emerges from the water, climbs back aboard ship*

Torne (Guest)
Weren't they speaking about sharing a bed moments ago? O.o
AmbiguousMouse (Guest)
I'm pretty sure they were talking about the bed being too small for both of them a few moments ago, much to the chagrin of shippers.
And so the voyage begins!

Chase (Guest)
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! :D
VDani (Guest)
Was *NOT* expecting this.

Best chapter end ever.

Need a cold shower to cool my internal lesbian.
Trin (Guest)
This page reminded me of this song:
The Laughing Man (Guest)
As a mid-thirties hetero male with a fairly epic beard, I feel slightly embarrassed that I just squealed a bit. Why must you gives to me the feels?
as a mid-twenties bisexual male with probably not as epic a beard, NEVER feel embarrassed about squealing.
Cas (Guest)
Do we have a ship name for this yet? If not i suggest SS Emin or something cool any ideas at all?
PCBenjima (Guest)
Emily McRainface? ^_^
Pretty sure their ship name is Raimily or Rainily.

OhgeeSunny (Guest)
I'm so happy for them! I was concerned it would not happen but here we are. I bet it won't be an easy realtionship, but i really hope it works out for them.
JaxRhapsody (Guest)
You people are hilarious.
Alright, got all the squees out of my system now. Sad to see the chapter end, and knowing a hiatus is on the way, but what a way to end it! And ahead of schedule! Can't wait to buy volume 4 once it is ready!
say Taylor (Guest)

...I am content.
AmbiguousMouse (Guest)
Well nobody else did it, so I'm gonna go ahead and be that one girl. *insert middle schooler-style snicker here followed by singsong voice* They're like sisters~ This makes incest~
Guest Guy (Guest)
Incest, incest, It's the best!
put your sister to the test!
Eliza (Guest)
So I really wish the final page of this three page update was my computer background.
anon (Guest)
Nietzsche in thus spoke zarathustra and many other works tells us to forgo any consequences, ideas, etc. that hold us back from our going under and becoming or bridging to become/help create the übermensch. So although there may be risk or horrible consequences we should not hold back from taking them to become a better us. Ill leave you with this quote by him “For believe me! — the secret for harvesting from existence the greatest fruitfulness and the greatest enjoyment is: to live dangerously! Build your cities on the slopes of Vesuvius! Send your ships into uncharted seas! Live at war with your peers and yourselves! Be robbers and conquerors as long as you cannot be rulers and possessors, you seekers of knowledge! Soon the age will be past when you could be content to live hidden in forests like shy deer! At long last the search for knowledge will reach out for its due: — it will want to rule and possess, and you with it!”

― Friedrich Nietzsche, The Gay Science: with a Prelude in Rhymes and an Appendix of Songs
Guest Guy (Guest)
I am choking to death on happy throat noise foam
Mikasi (Guest)
I kinda wish I could upvote or +1 comments because so many of these need it.
AmbiguousMouse (Guest)
I already commented earlier, but you see these two adorable and really emotionally close girls sharing their first kiss?

Remember how one said the other seemed like a skank?

Man, how things change.
I just recently remembered Rain and I'm all caught up again and this is amazing as hell!
Akane (Guest)
They're so adoorablee <3
And now I've just considered that I've read this whole complete chapter, the one that was running for the longest so far AFAIK, in one single night. Wow. After this much rough and tumble, I really hope there's more good for them in sight ^^
* takes off glasses, wipes tears from eyes, puts glasses back on *
YEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS. Sorry i should compose myself but catching up with rain was a great idea so far!
Sarah (Guest)
Love it.
I was reading this at school, and I just suddenly just shouted "FINALLY!" out of nowhere.
Emily (Guest)
This hit a million times harder on the second read.

It makes me lonely, a little bit desolate-feeling.

I'm so happy for them.

It gives me hope.

I just . . . don't know . . . this is too much for me right now.
Omg omg omg! This is the greatest thing ever!
SpeedyQuidKid (Guest)
Well this comic has been a trip lol (a good one!). At first, I very much shipped Maria/Rain, and then didn't much like Ruby/Rain, and then even though I still shipped Rain with Maria, Maria and Chanel became a thing and it was too adorable not to ship. And then there was a nice long buildup to Emily and Rain and I was hesitant at first but by the time I got to this I definitely wanted it to happen haha. Good writing! Hope that it works out cuz they're not only cute but really good for each other, so far.
no (Guest)
Gaborbutch (Guest)
Yes! Yes! Yes! Who would have ever thought that I would just shout out loud from a comic page? And yet I did. I am not even into shipping, but this had to happen so much. Oh my gosh they are so cute together! It may be hard, but I am with them every step of the way (even if only from the other side of the screen)
Elyssa (Guest)
I discovered this comic around 3pm this afternoon. I am still more or less in the closet, even to myself, especially to myself. But this comic has been a fantastic read. SO much so that I binged the first 821 pages in just under 9 hours. There are too many things I still don't know, about who I am, and about what I want, but I'm relating to a lot of these characters(particularly Drew, Ky, and Rain). I still don't know exactly who I am, but this webcomic is making it easier to accept who I could be.
So thank you, really and truly thank you.
PS: I'm not 100% certain yet, but I do believe that Elyssa might be the right name for me. Might be who I really am, Elyssa and not Zac
Hey, Elyssa. That's a really cute name. ^^

I know it's been many months, and I don't know if you'll ever see this, but I hope things are going well for you. That you've been able to figure out a lot more about yourself, and work toward being seen as exactly who you want to be. Always keep your head high. You are exactly who you feel and say you are, and no one can ever take that away from you. 💜
*screams in gay*

1. Ch. 23: The Flaherty Siblings
2. Ch 14: No More Fake Smiles
3. Ch 5: Cordially Invited
4. Ch 4: Not the Same
5. Ch. 28: Love, Trust, and Respect
6. Ch. 27: Same Girl, New Look
7. Ch 15: The January Girl
8. Ch. 19: Vincent's Story
9. Ch. 24: Of Cons and Kisses
10. Ch. 26: Cut
11. Ch. 21: Valentine's Day
12. Ch. 20: Just a Quiet Weekend
13. Ch 13: Togetherness
14. Ch. 17: Journey of 1,000 Miles
15. Ch 9: One Week
16. Ch. 18: Sunny
17. Ch. 16: The Exception
18. Ch 12: Drab
19. Ch 11: Big Brother
20. Ch. 22: Valentine's Night
21. Ch 7: Mixed Feelings
22. Ch 10: Friendship
23. Ch 6: Fallen Angel
24. Ch 2: Secrets and Lies
25. Ch 3: Normal People
26. Ch 1: The New Girl
27. Ch. 25: Wings
28. Ch 8: Confrontation