Comic 81 - Help

25th May 2011, 1:00 AM in Ch 3: Normal People
Average Rating: 4.9 (10 votes)
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Author Notes:

Jocelyn 25th May 2011, 1:00 AM edit delete
Gavin’s a little melodramatic, perhaps, and he does have a habit of being kind of an ass, but what do you guys think? Does the guy have a point or is his argument invalid?

Either way, it's your move, Rain.

Rain, all characters and all other aspects of the story are copyright material belonging to me.
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Sanity Protection Factor 25th May 2011, 1:23 AM edit delete reply
Sanity Protection Factor
I think they both have valid points. Gavin's right about them being best friends, and that they should open up to each other...but Rain is also right-it's easy to understand why she felt that way. I'd be terrified of telling anyone.

Great comic, keep 'em coming! I can't wait to see where this goes!
Jay 25th May 2011, 5:07 PM edit delete reply
This reminds me of something that happened to me. I've been friends with this girl since 7th grade and she didn't come out to me. I found out she was a lesbian through Myspace. It hurts knowing she didn't trust me enough to just say so face to face.

So yeah, I totally empathize with Gavin.
a13xman 3rd Jul 2013, 11:57 AM edit delete reply
So well done. I only cried a little it though...
Jennifer K 17th Feb 2014, 10:58 AM edit delete reply
Nah, I really feel like Gavin is just being an ass again. He got his poor straight white man feelings hurt and now he's lashing out because he never learned how to express his emotions properly.

So Rain didn't tell him such a crucial fact about herself when they were in elementary school? If Gavin were such a great and amazing best friend, it shouldn't have mattered when she told him, because it was her secret to keep. And had she told Gavin before now, he probably would've stayed her friend and tried to help out, sure, but it probably also would've changed their entire dynamic, made things weird between them.
Guest 5th Mar 2014, 3:32 AM edit delete reply
I agree, Rain owes him nothing and hes being so dramatic over a childhood friendship which is giving me super bad vibes about him tbh. like they may have been friends during childhood but their seniors now. Looking back, would I flat out tell my elementary best friend that I'm a lesbian? Nope. Because I don't owe anyone any explaination and neither does Rain
Zi 25th Jul 2015, 11:50 AM edit delete reply
I'm glad I'm not the only one getting bad vibes about him. He isn't entitled to know everything. I can accept that he has some growing to do and that he feels betrayed, but Rain did nothing wrong.

I will say... My closest, oldest friends were the hardest to come out to.
Transginger 14th Mar 2016, 4:31 PM edit delete reply
This was me. My bad. I forgot to put the name up at the top. Dx
Guest 14th Mar 2016, 4:31 PM edit delete reply
I completely disagree. While yes, Rain is not at fault for not telling him, Gavin is hurt. This is a completely justified response to a perceived betrayal of trust. Gavin isn't "unable to deal with his white, straight male emotions." Not only is he in high school, but anger is normal response. Yes, he's being a little melodramatic as Jocelyn said, but that doesn't invalidate his feelings. It might have made it weird, but from his perspective, he sees it as though it wouldn't change anything. He'd still be best friends with Rain anyway.

On the other hand, Rain's fear is totally justified too. Especially at such a young age, when he was all she had to depend on. So, from a psychology point of view, neither is at fault. It's just how they were perceiving the situation at hand. It could have been handled better, yes, but there's no one to blame.
Emily 4th May 2018, 8:37 PM edit delete reply
"He's got his poor straight white man feelings hurt"

Thanks so much for the callous, mean-spirited dismissal of my brother, dad, grandpa, and close friends (not to mention billions of other people) based on . . . wait for it . . . RACE, GENDER AND SEXUAL ORIENTATION! It's so nice to be reminded that those precious, beloved human beings are, in some circles, seen as undeserving of emotional lives.

Am I being harsh? Yes. But comments like yours, they get REALLY far under my skin.
Lex-Kat 13th Nov 2016, 4:52 AM edit delete reply
I wouldn't say Gavin's argument's invalid... but he really needs to listen better. She just said: "you were the only friend I had. I didn't want to risk you..."

How does he not hear that she was afraid? Does he not know that transpeople have been disowned by family, thrown aside by friends who had been thought of as "best friends"? If he was a true friend... I don't know. I just don't understand his side of it, at all.

Rain should hug him, and not say anything. Just hug him.
Some Ed 11th Jun 2017, 9:06 AM edit delete reply
Looking at this from the information Gavin apparently has available to him... what makes him think that Rain even knew enough about what was wrong in her life when they were in elementary school?

I may have told my family I wanted to be a mommy when I grew up when I was a little kid, but I didn't really figure out about trans until I was in college. I mean, yeah, I had times when I'd wake up in the morning and wonder what the heck happened between my legs, and as I went through puberty, I felt more and more like I should have a larger cup size, topping out around 16 cup sizes larger than the 'no breasts to speak of' I have. But that's normal, right? People just don't talk about it because the guys who are most insecure about it tend to be super defensive and work out a lot and are prone to using their muscles to shut down anyone who mentions that which they can't come to terms with.

I understand that there's a lot of trans people who figured it out at young ages, but not everyone does. I mean, we live in a world where Patrick Stewart recently admitted that he only learned he was uncircumcised some time after he had grandchildren. Figuring out whether one has a foreskin seems a lot simpler to me than figuring out whether you were born the right gender, or if there even is a right gender for you.

To take offense at someone not telling you something that they may not have figured out themselves takes a certain amount of chutzpah. All Gavin has to go on is that Rain's aunt said it was something that Rain had to deal with her whole life. Not that Rain had figured it out at a young age. Gavin didn't give Rain enough time to reasonably explain after they met up again before getting upset with her. That's not the sort of thing one talks about in public if one can avoid it, especially not in a Catholic high school.

I'd be willing to bet that Ryan let Gavin know about some of the issues he had due to being trans when they were in elementary school, they just weren't labelled like that.
egg 3rd Dec 2020, 2:39 PM edit delete reply
I wouldn't lie, I'd probably be a little like gavin if I was in his situation.
Mila 28th Oct 2022, 11:19 PM edit delete reply
I definitely get both sides in this. I never had a lot of friends to begin with, and the thought of alienating them by coming out as trans and them suddenly seeing me as a "freak" after so many years, kept me paralyzed with fear whenever I began to think about losing them over it. (Fortunately I turned out to be wrong in most cases - the only friends I lost were ones I was more acquaintances with anyway.)

On the other side, I've been in Gavin's shoes too. Being that friend who knows I'd have my friend's back no matter what because "that's what friends do!" but being kept in the dark because of some arbitrary reason or to "protect" me because they didn't think I could handle it. That really hurt.
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