Comic 732 - Mirror

20th Sep 2015, 6:26 PM in Ch. 27: Same Girl, New Look
Average Rating: 5 (8 votes)
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Author Notes:

Jocelyn 20th Sep 2015, 6:26 PM edit delete
Common trans problem: mirrors suck. Especially when you haven't started hormones yet. Especially when you don't believe you pass (which for the record doesn't mean you don't; we're just our own worst critics). Especially when someone chops your hair off (hopefully that last one is a bit less common).

We've seen her done up already though. We know that once she gets dressed and fixes herself up, she really should be fine, right? But as I said, we're our worst critics. This is a very real fear of a lot of trans folks. And if that fear is there, it's hard to shake.

Back in my pre and early transition days, there were a lot of times I didn't go out to do something I really wanted to do because I was afraid I didn't pass well enough. Why? Because I caught my jawline in the mirror at the wrong angle. Or I didn't like the way the dress I wanted to wear looked on me at that moment. Or all the makeup in the world could do nothing for my five o'clock shadow for some reason even though it totally worked fine yesterday. It was always stupid stuff like that that could ruin my whole day. But that speaks volumes of how debilitating dysphoria can be.

I thankfully don't get like this anymore. I mean, I'll still have days where I don't like the way I look or feel (and contrary to what some people think, I still get misgendered often enough), but I don't want it to prevent me from doing what I want to do anymore. I will go out regardless. I have to. I can't let fear rule my life, or I'll miss out on life. So please try to be brave, my trans sisters and brothers. Don't listen to mirrors; they're seriously jerks sometimes. Instead, listen to me who KNOWS you can pass even if I don't know you. Listen to your supportive friends who want you to be happy. Listen to the part of YOU who wants you to go out and be you. You can do it. :)

So... downer page, I know. But hopefully the motivational speech makes up for it at least a little. I really, really promise this chapter won't be as rough as the last one; this was just a very important trans experience I thought I should shed light on.

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T-Dog 20th Sep 2015, 6:51 PM edit delete reply
Well, we can wish Rain good luck and confidence.
Mina 20th Sep 2015, 7:03 PM edit delete reply
Rain should read you.

Okay, Rain? Listen to your maker and woman up! >:3
Chris the Blue 20th Sep 2015, 8:07 PM edit delete reply
Chris the Blue
I really can't wait for her to get her hormone treatment.
Poor Rain.
Zii 20th Sep 2015, 8:51 PM edit delete reply
I caught a bad angle in a mirror at Goodwill. That ruined my day.
eidigale 20th Sep 2015, 9:41 PM edit delete reply
Decided to wax my beard yesterday. It didn't work, even if I grew it out for a whole week for it to be long enough. Today I've been avoiding mirrors all day because my face is a mess and my skin is still too sensitive for a clean shave. Anyone has tips on how to wax a beard? It's the second time I try, and the second time I fail.
j-eagle12212012 20th Sep 2015, 11:35 PM edit delete reply
Facial hair sucks, the best advice I can think of is to wait about an hour after you wake up and wash your face before any hair removel technique. Our faces are inflamed in the morning from something I can't remember, but I remember reading it on a website that had tips for transwoman. I hope this helps
eidigale 21st Sep 2015, 6:35 AM edit delete reply
Thanks for the advice. I did not know our faces where particularly sensitive in the morning. I will keeps it in mind.
Guest 21st Sep 2015, 4:12 PM edit delete reply
Once upon a time I tried to remove my beard with an epilator. In my experience, that is very much not recommended. The result was rather splotchy, but more importantly, it hurt. It hurt a lot, and I say this as someone who some time later once fell asleep during an electrolysis session. Läser and electrolysis work, give permanent results and are only moderately painful; shaving works, is temporary and painless.

As for Rain, I hope she can keep in mind that it gets better. Eventually, looking in the mirror will feel good instead of bad; the difficulty is in not giving up along the way.
Sarume 20th Sep 2015, 11:51 PM edit delete reply
Hi Jocelyn,

Thanks for your motivational speech, I'll try to take it to heart. Mirrors and being misgendered causes our souls a lot of pain and test our self-confidence (if there's anything of that left...)
I try to tell myself every day, that I NEED to live... But honestly: After that failed coming out about 8 years ago, fear rules me.
Zii 21st Sep 2015, 1:56 AM edit delete reply
It's tough, I know. It's hard to keep all the positives in mind if you face a world that doesn't see you the way you wish you could be seen. Something to keep in mind, though, is that tomorrow is always a new day, and it doesn't have to be as bad as yesterday. A lot of people you interact with won't even remember you the next day, so you can let those bad moments and bad interactions go.

Sorry if I'm waxing philosophical and meandering... I just know that stuff gets better sometimes, and turnarounds can happen. Keep on working on being you, and hold on to hope, and someday, the dark times will be behind you.
Clara 21st Sep 2015, 2:25 AM edit delete reply
My guess for what happens is that when she goes to school she is told she is the One and has to free the enslaved humans by freeing them from the matrix
Guest gorl 21st Sep 2015, 10:34 AM edit delete reply
Lol best prediction anyone's made so far, hands down
Dream of a Pebble 21st Sep 2015, 4:30 PM edit delete reply
This, very much.

I didn't originally plan to transition, in fact - the main goal was to be able to look in a mirror without feeling nauseous. Of course, there was this side effect that people started to give me strange looks in the men's room. That and the wino singing me a serenade as I was walking to work one morning were pretty clear hints that I'd stopped passing as a man. Not that it distressed me too much, of course, but the main point was being able to like the face that looks back from mirrors. And these days, most of the time I can.

One day Rain can, too. I hope the road there won't be *too* long and hard.
Lemonado Girl 21st Sep 2015, 7:33 PM edit delete reply
Well...I was careless, and as a result was forced out to my parents. Ironically, I was much more scared about how my dad would take it, but my mom has been the one not handling it very well. I do t mean in a rejecting sort of way, but I can tell she's not being genuinely supportive and has been trying to invalidate my feelings, not out of any kind of malice but just because it's probably just come as a large shock. What's upsetting really is that there were other people I was going to come out to first-and now my parents, specifically my mom, want me to keep mum about it until I see a doctor of some kind (and who's to say what kind of doctor they are? All I know is that my parents googled them). It's really sucking, keeping it all bottled up.
Guest 22nd Sep 2015, 7:22 PM edit delete reply
*hugs* Tell the people you want to tell. It's your life, and your truth, and nobody--not even your parents--have any right to prevent you from doing with it as you choose. And if you're not getting the support you need (and deserve!) from your parents, then maybe you can at least get support from others.

Good luck! xxx
Deb 21st Sep 2015, 9:35 PM edit delete reply
You now, it seems that since I started hormones (even a low dose), the evil mirror doesn't have such an effect. I am a woman; I see a woman looking back at me in the mirror -- sure, a 53-year-old manly looking woman, but a woman nonetheless.

The pep talk is point on.
Akane 13th Jul 2016, 10:03 PM edit delete reply worst experience ever was catching a spot in the restaurant mirror I was absolutely sure at home that I covered, stand out so obviously, I was sitting extra frustrated and anxious for the rest of the day...your speech was really moving though, thank you a thousand times for those words.
Lex-Kat 25th Nov 2016, 5:16 AM edit delete reply
Of course you can, Rain. You are beautiful. You are strong.

((I still don't like the short hair. ;) ))
no 12th Nov 2020, 2:58 AM edit delete reply
one of the most relatable scenes so far. this is me every time i get out of the shower, wiping off the mirror knowing full well what I'll see :)

(i feel like that smiley face doesnt fit but i just wanted to be clear that i wasnt going for a mopey tone)
Hooman Bean 12th Jan 2021, 6:47 PM edit delete reply
Wow. Same. Me getting out of the shower is me wishing I wasn't assigned female. I'm actually agender, but I really hate my body sometimes y'know? (btw @no, I'm commenting on a lot of your comments, sorry. You just say very relatable things)
AriaOfEffect 18th Sep 2021, 1:19 PM edit delete reply
Down with mirrors! (except on days where I look cute)
Ron 2nd May 2022, 5:44 PM edit delete reply
I used to (pre-hormones) be able to pass some times, so long as I didn't speak at all. I used to pretend I lost my voice on bad days. There aren't many men age 20 who can sing soprano but can't reach the bottom of alto if they really try. Thankfully I have lower tones now, by a mysterious two octaves.

In regards to mirrors, though, I have a favourite in my bedroom. It's slightly warped from true and has some patina spotting. I could stand in such a way that my least favourite bits disappeared. I love that mirror.
TheSiren 26th Jun 2022, 4:22 AM edit delete reply
wait the comic started with Rain getting ready and saying 'I can do this'...
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