Comic 693 - Regarding the latest page...

3rd Jul 2015, 1:03 PM in Ch. 25: Wings
Regarding the latest page...
Average Rating: 5 (16 votes)
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Author Notes:

Jocelyn 3rd Jul 2015, 1:03 PM edit delete
I already practically wrote a novella above. I'm not sure I have much, if anything, to add down here.
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DocMesa 3rd Jul 2015, 2:05 PM edit delete reply
*hugs tightly*
SnapGrunt 3rd Jul 2015, 2:16 PM edit delete reply
Dear Jocelyn

Even though the lots of the community is mad at that one person in the comic and how this came out of nowhere, very few people are mad at you for telling a great story. If people stop reading the comic because of this I just don't know what to say.and thx for being good person and writing such a great comic
Tim 3rd Jul 2015, 3:50 PM edit delete reply
I personally loved the twist. I think we were in need of something like this. It was very striking and sudden. It is a horrible thing that happens to people, but if you only wrote about positive things, the story wouldn't be very interesting, would it? I think it will be helpful if you include trigger warnings for those who are bothered by this, but taking down the page is just censoring our freedom to write.
j-eagle12212012 3rd Jul 2015, 4:32 PM edit delete reply

No need to be sorry for being great at storytelling.
Mina 3rd Jul 2015, 5:22 PM edit delete reply
Still here!

Now, I wonder... Will Rain have green hair, to match Kaminari's? :p

Anyway, good luck with your internet! We love you! ^^
DocMesa 4th Jul 2015, 4:07 AM edit delete reply
She wouldn't be the first awesome transwoman with green hair. Charlie from Kaos Komix does too. :3
Zoey 3rd Jul 2015, 5:35 PM edit delete reply
Don't worry, even tho it crushes me and rains hair has been something I've been trying to mimic for months now, I totally get it. It invokes an emotional response that creates an experience. An eternally positive experience is something that some people think they crave, but in reality, those are the stories that lose our interest.

Well, except my mother, she tunes out anything that doesn't follow her own upbeat fantasy world, but that's another story xD

Anyways, don't you dare change this. I need to know what happens next, and eventually watch rains sister get her karma.
Dear Jocelyn.

That page strikes so close to home of so many of us, especially for a lot of us trans girls. Having your hair cut is a lot like like the idea having your wings cut off. Those pages speak volumes, and they're something everyone can relate to. As much as that page hurt and made a lot of us cry. It's important. Hair will grow back, but the violated trust won't. I hope it wasn't Aiken who actually pulled that.
Devgirl Neko 3rd Jul 2015, 8:22 PM edit delete reply
Devgirl Neko
I highly doubt it was Aiken given that Kellen's last lines in the dream is just Rain hearing what Kellen was saying in real life while cutting her hair.
j-eagle12212012 4th Jul 2015, 8:54 AM edit delete reply
@Devgirl Neko

I love your pic, how'd you do that?
Azure_Jorie 3rd Jul 2015, 10:11 PM edit delete reply

I have to say, I personally really approve of this direction in the story. That page was incredibly jarring and emotional to read, but I consider that a good thing. If a piece of media has the power to make me tear up, I always think of that as a compliment to the work, that it was able to affect me so deeply.

Further, while this is a traumatic development, in addition to creating an opportunity for Rain to overcome adversity as you said, I also feel it's really awesome you're including glimpses of a few sad realities we have to deal with, being trans in this society that still holds so much stigma against us.

It actually made me really happy, a few chapters back, that you weren't afraid—even in this otherwise lighthearted comic—to include a couple pages where Rain's really dysphoric and complains about it, especially considering that it's a slice-of-life comic about a transgirl in (roughly?) present-day society. To be clear: I was not at all happy that Rain was dysphoric; being trans myself and intimately aware of how crippling dysphoria's been for me, I wouldn't wish it on anyone, but just the fact that you were willing to include such things, even if only in occasional glimpses, is something I appreciate.

Now, I've never had this experience exactly (someone forcefully removing my hair because they disagreed with my gender), but I have lived in fear of it happening, as well as in fear of the hormones I'd managed to get prescriptions for behind my unnaccepting father's back being discovered and thrown away (he threatened to do just that if he ever found out I'd started HRT while I was still living in his house, which I had to be at the time for financial reasons), and I think including an element of hardship like this is important, because it's relate-able, and I really feel for Rain here.

It's awful that some readers were so upset or hurt by this development that they wanted you to outright retcon it, but I hope (and believe) that everyone will stick around long enough to see how Rain deals with this. And I, for one, am looking forward to seeing her conquer this obstacle like the badass young lady she is. ^^

PS: Dunno if you ever read the comment I left on the "A Real Girl" page (it was well after you'd written the page as I was still catching up on the archives), but on the chance that you didn't, let me just thank you again for making this comic; back when I still hadn't quite figured myself out, I read some of your comic (you weren't too far into it yet at that point if I recall), and remember it having quite an effect on me. I'm not saying it was the sole thing that ultimately made me realize who I was and why I felt "wrong," but it certainly got the gears moving in my brain, so to speak, and it stuck with me as one of the most humanizing media portrayals of a trans person I'd come across so far in my life (up 'til then, my only real exposure had been when I encountered the awful phenomenon of having a trans woman in a sitcom as the butt of some transphobic joke). Your comic certainly played a role in helping me come to terms with my own identity as a trans woman, so thank you for that. ^^

PPS: I'm not saying this again because I'm upset you didn't respond or whatever. You don't need to respond; it just occurred to me you may not have seen that comment since I posted it on an older archived page, and it was something I wanted you to know is all.

...okay I'll shut up now, sorry. >.<

Random 3rd Jul 2015, 10:43 PM edit delete reply
Terrible things happen to good people, at least in a story the perpetrators can get what's coming to them. I think the easiest way to post a trigger warning would be to make the heavy pages double posts, with the first just being a large trigger warning on an otherwise blank page
Vanessa 4th Jul 2015, 12:07 AM edit delete reply
I know that a lot of people have been giving you crap, but that page means a lot to me. I spent most of last night just reading it over and over again, and eventually broke down in tears. They were tears of joy, sorrow and confusion all at once. I myself have a very stocky, large build. I'm six feet tall and still growing, I have the shoulders of a football player and I look like a god damn gorilla. I am a literal monster, and it's awful. Throughout my life, my hair length has been one of the few ways I could express my femininity, despite being constantly hassled over it with my grandfather at one point even threatening to do exactly what Kellen did. I have tried explaining why this is important to me to my parents for ages, yet they refuse to listen and will soon be forcing me to cut my hair. I have no one to relate to about my plight of gender dysphoria, I am deeply closeted and left to cry myself to sleep in silence. The one thing I've needed all these years is someone who understands, and with this comic I have that. Rain has helped me so much since I started reading, and I can never express to you how much what you've created means to me. I will never be able to repay you for what you've done for me, and I simply cannot express my gratitude. Without you I could never have come out. Rain makes it feel okay to be this way, and even though it's unbearable to feel like this every day, to go through life feeling so wrong, to know you're a disgusting, hulking THING every day and to be completely unable to speak about it, this comic has made it feel okay, especially these last few pages. Never stop writing Jocelyn, I owe you so much. I'm also sorry if this was rambly or didn't make any sense, in addition to being over emotional I'm very tired, and barley conscious.
Now ex-Rain beau 4th Jul 2015, 2:37 AM edit delete reply
I'm sorry...... but you lost a reader.....
ditto 4th Jul 2015, 2:38 AM edit delete reply
Me too.......
im sorry..... 4th Jul 2015, 2:39 AM edit delete reply
I read this comic as a means to keep myself happy. This comic mean't so much to me..... and thats why with a sad heart I have to say I will be no longer reading this comic
Jocelyn 4th Jul 2015, 4:53 PM edit delete reply
@Now ex-Rain beau @ditto @im sorry.....

If you don't want to read the comic anymore, that is entirely your choice, and I won't force you to stay. I would be genuinely sad to see you go, but I'm not going to change it or take it back. Even if I could be convinced to take it back, readers would be left with a very lengthy hiatus because I have about a dozen chapters planned to follow this event. If this scene never happens though, it changes everything and it'll be a long time before I can continue. That'd be a lot of extra work to placate 1-3 people, and it would be denying so many others the opportunity to see true happiness by overcoming hardship.

I'm sorry you can't accept this turn of events. And like I said, if you wish to stop reading, though it saddens me, I can't stop you. But if I may just humbly say, I feel like leaving now would be a disservice to yourself. Happiness means so much more when it's earned through overcoming hardship. Every victory Rain has earned for herself makes her happier and more confident. And it's my hope that giving her (and her friends) ordeals to face and overcome, will allow readers to feel like they're overcoming it with her to reach an ultimately happier end. So, if you're reading this to stay happy, I don't see how leaving without closure on a down note is going to be for the better.

Just some food for thought. Whatever your choice, please take care.
Guest 4th Jul 2015, 3:03 AM edit delete reply
It's obvious the three people above saying that they are done reading are the same person.
Noelle 4th Jul 2015, 3:46 AM edit delete reply
Yeah, I mean, very few people use 5/6 dots for an ellipsis. That's a pretty distinctive writing style. Definitely one person, probably trolling.
Guest 11th Jul 2015, 8:23 PM edit delete reply
I dont know about it being the same person. Swype does that on my phone and tablet if you have 2 or more dots.
Zi 16th Sep 2015, 12:40 AM edit delete reply
The time stamps kind of point to it being the same person as well. That's a terrible thing to do. I understand the compound feelings of being upset and powerless, but the dishonesty in that motion is not excused. It's a power play, and that person should really think about other people before being dishonest.
no 11th Nov 2020, 3:35 AM edit delete reply
and barely anybody on here changes their username as though its a subject bar
Hooman Bean 12th Jan 2021, 6:14 PM edit delete reply
Wow I didn't notice that, I just thought it was 3 people who don't know how much this comic means or how good it is. But now that I see it I realize you guy are probably right.
Athedia 4th Jul 2015, 3:26 AM edit delete reply
If your comic had not had that scene and someone hasn't start discussing it on the forums I frequent, then I would have never found this comic. I wanted to let you know that. Last night I proceeded to read about half the comic (second half) and it is now on my list.
Laurie_A 4th Jul 2015, 5:55 AM edit delete reply
I'm not gonna stop reading this comic! Yes the last page was heart wrenching and maddnig but I wanna see how everyone moves on from this.
Renée 4th Jul 2015, 6:52 AM edit delete reply
This is you story, not ours, no matter how much we become invested in it. Readers will come and go, but you're the author.
TheFTM 4th Jul 2015, 8:32 AM edit delete reply
Jocelyn, you shouldn't have to take down or change what happens in your story, because it's YOUR story. It's no one else's. I'm sure that many people would like to change it, but that doesn't give them the right to try and pressure you into changing it. 'Cause guess what? Just like you said bad shit like this happens to trans girls all the fucking time. If people can't get it through their head that shit happens then I don't know what you can do, but many people probably loved your honesty. I did. I left a whole comment telling you I did and I read other people's comments saying some of the same stuff as me. If people don't like your honesty about what it's really like to be a trans person then that's their problem. They should stop reading the comics if they don't want to read about it. Simple as that. 'Cause I never went into Rain thinking it would be a happy go lucky comic. I thought that Rain would have many struggles with her transition. I was surprised when I read it that it wasn't all doom and gloom. You didn't delete any of the problems though. You just played them off in a humorous way. I love that about this comic. It's humorous about things that aren't. Now, I don't think it would be a bad idea to put trigger warnings in 'cause I know that things like that could really fuck with someone's head. Especially if something similar has happened to them in the past or if they have an nonsupporting household it might make them fear for themselves. Once again though I see people make idiots out of themselves over something that they can't change. If it was their story sure, make it full of butterflies and rainbows. But it's not theirs, so they they can just lay the fuck off. So in the end, Jocelyn I will and am a faithful reader and something like the truth isn't going to stop me from reading a story I've completely fallen in love with. Thank you for writing Rain and please, don't let others effect what you want to do with the story.=]
Hooman Bean 12th Jan 2021, 6:15 PM edit delete reply
That was powerful. Even years later.
Rain Beau Dash 4th Jul 2015, 9:03 AM edit delete reply
I'm not mad at all. I had a feeling that things have been going way too well for a long period, so there would inevitably be a big shock around the corner.
Because the reality is that many trans people (and cis people too actually) suffer things like that, and often even worse. You can't blame Jocelyn for some realism. So Jocelyn, keep making your stories like you're doing.
It is painful to read that page, but so is every page of my life. Kellen does remind me more and more of my own oldest sister.
But nobody panic, the story is far from finished, i'm sure there will happen plenty of great stuff. Besides, Rain still looks cute, and we should all try to get her confidence back up! (how you mean she's virtual? for me she isn't!)
4C51 4th Jul 2015, 1:31 PM edit delete reply
Powerful stories garner powerful reactions.

If anything, this Rain Beau's love of your comic has been strengthened by the latest page. Looking forward to Rain's strength in the face of this!

Smiley260 5th Jul 2015, 3:05 AM edit delete reply
Just an idea (probably not gonna be used but why not mention it) rain could shave her head and say she did the be brave and shave for cancer funding. i know plenty of girls who cut their hair to donate to cancer victims.
Torne 6th Jul 2015, 10:56 PM edit delete reply
I have been wondering when and what this event was going to be. Earlier than I expected, but well done. I approve ^_^ I know a lot of people are upset but they shouldn't be pissed at the fake character in a story or you for showing a grim reality. Remember, Rain only lost her hair and she has people who love her and will support her. Not all of us are as lucky...You need look no further than November 20th.
Jax Rhapsody 10th Jul 2015, 7:28 AM edit delete reply
It's your story, write, and draw it your way, you can't please everybody, and one thing I learned on Literotica is to never write based on what your readers want. It was a twist, a change of sorts, just like in real life- which isn't some happy story full of perfection(you'd still have internet if it were), and if readers can't face the "reality" of the story, oh fucking well. Those people wouldn't make it past the first few chapters of Wild flowers, this is the first real serious thing that's happened, unlike wikd flowers that's got a lot of strife in it. We, who are still going to be reading your comic are the ones that kinda matter. I know I will keep writing what I want even if I don't have a single reader, because my story is out there. Trans people get animosity by friends, family, and everyone else, even the rest of the lgbt- this is life when you are in a heteronormative society.

Sorry for the long post, I usually wait for a few pages to get my fix. At least you know even those who decide to stop reading can see the many messages her cut hair speaks of...
DiEvAl 14th Jul 2015, 3:25 PM edit delete reply
Well, motion sensor alarms start at about $20. Such a cheap one probably isn't perfect against professional burglars, but it should be more than enough against relatives.
Carter 19th Jul 2015, 11:06 PM edit delete reply
Honestly, as horrible of a thing as it was to happen to her, I think it's important to show. So many trans youth have to deal with this type of intolerance from their families, and I feel its so important to represent that. I understand that some people may have been upset by it, but that is no means to remove it. A story about a trans girl with a transphobic family is bound to get upsetting, and people need to realise that. It's unfair to you, as the writer, for people to demand you change the course of your story.
Merithras 24th Aug 2015, 1:20 AM edit delete reply
it's like they expect comics and stories won't have controversies, twists, and conflicts. as much as these people do not understand rain, they may not understand the whole idea of how rain shows her identity. your ability to show how rain reacts and feels shows you know her, duh, she's your character, moreso than an author, like you've been in her shoes, maybe not in all of rains situations, but in a few. also, in addendum, if i were rain, kellen would not be alive to see the next sunrise.
Merithras 24th Aug 2015, 7:11 PM edit delete reply
i'd like it noted i'm a cis-male, more or less, and i'm well blessed with long wavy hair. that's generally my reasoning for how i feel. i've had people JOKE to cut my hair, but they RARELY do so again. it's one of my "triggers"(not in the tumblr meaning, like "oh no i'm triggered by a unibrow, flashbacks!".) it's one of my insta-rage triggers o.O less so if i know the person, i can deal with it no problem, but if it's a stranger, i generally want to give their soul to khorne... or tzeench... more likely tzeench, not sure honestly.... someone actually did come at me with scissors once. the got lodged into a tree and the person almost got railed upside the face by my best friend at the time. it was nutz (i live in a rural-lite farmy redneck area, and the homophoby "traditional marriage" talk is strong amongst the old folks here. anyhoo, keep up the butt kickin, Ms rain beau makin' jocelachaun.
Akane 10th Jul 2016, 11:55 PM edit delete reply
It's 6 in the morning but I just wanted to get to the end of this chapter before I go to sleep...and now, boom...I won't be able to sleep until I see what this unfolds to.
I am sorta thankful now that I am still a few hundred pages behind of where the story is at today, otherwise I'd feel literally ripped apart to wait for what happens next...
RubyRuthNeal 22nd Oct 2016, 12:40 AM edit delete reply
I am binge-reading Rain for the 3rd time in a row tonight. I resisted doing this the first 2 times thru, but now feel compelled to post my own story. My very first haircut occurred when I was about 4 years old. I still remember it. Up until that point I thought I was a girl, just like my older sisters who I played with as a toddler / young child. I had even been dressed in my sister's hand-me-down clothes because my family was poor, and I always spent my time home and my mother didn't think it mattered as long as I was clothed. For whatever reason, my dad decided it was time for me to get a haircut and begin to appear as a boy... maybe his friends were giving him shit about it or something. Anyway, I remember going to a barber shop and being sit in a booster seat in the barber chair, where I was given a buzz cut. I had very long hair, and i remember the feeling of the clippers running thru my hair and how light and airy my head felt afterwards. It was a very interesting feeling getting sheared like a sheep, and I didn't mind it at all.... until I got home. On getting out of the car, I remember seeing my mother and sisters coming out of the house onto the front porch. My mother started crying profusely. Then my sisters started crying. Then I started crying. I cried so hard that I couldn't catch my breath and hyperventillated until I blacked out.... exactly the same as I did the morning I was born... and yes, I still remember my own birth, and I'm not shitting you about that either. I remember it all.
Some Ed 16th Jun 2017, 10:03 AM edit delete reply
I have stopped reading a story before, but never for a tragic moment that resulted from all of the characters behaving in character.

The story I enjoyed most that I stopped reading was due to the author having the main character act highly out of character to allow for a discussion that many fans were asking to see that couldn't reasonably happen if all of the characters were true to themselves. And it was very clear to me it would end badly for at least the main character. I didn't want to see the main character hurt because the author listened to fans who seriously disagreed with her vision.

I appreciate that you have the artistic integrity to stand up to fan bullying.

P.S. I'm sad you had to experience cancer, but I'm glad that you were able to have it taken care of. My wife manages the clinical research department for a local hospital's cancer center, and my mother and grandmother died from cancer, so I realize more than I'd like to just how nasty it can be. I thank you for sharing your story with us, and any future stories you care to share. I think I'd prefer to live in a world without cancer or oppressive difference phobia, but I feel that people like you make both of those things easier to face, which is important since we live in a world with both cancer and, well, that social type of cancer. Thank you, thank you, and, well, thank you.
Kaileena King 20th Jun 2018, 8:12 AM edit delete reply
I am Rain...I mean...everything she struggles with, her likes and dislikes, her sexuality, her gender identity, her fights with her family, the need for full transition and to be 'normal'...everything...I had gotten many comments about how I'm not a real woman before...but the numerous times my mother stated that she'll never accept me as a woman...killed me more than I like to admit...I didn't have a supportive aunt to run to...I didn't have a group of friends that supported me no matter what....I fought HARD to get where I am...this comic is more real to me than anything because I relate so heavily to Rain...I....I still don't really have anyone in my corner, but I have my surgery scheduled....I just...need you to know, Jocelyn, that this story and watching and reading about YOUR transition is more of an inspiration than you could ever imagine...I hope we can talk at some point...because we all need allies and I'm scared I have none...
Eclipsa Butterfly 11th Apr 2019, 6:58 PM edit delete reply
Well, I really loved the page. It was absolutely heart wrenching but it opens up more expansion to the characters.
no 11th Nov 2020, 3:37 AM edit delete reply
see my comment on the previous page. this is excellent.
Rin 17th Feb 2021, 2:13 PM edit delete reply
I- I don't think only Rain was traumatized by that... I've never been hit by a page like that before, and it- it hurt. I felt sick just reading that. But you put years of time and effort into this comic, so I'll read on... I wonder how you made this work out for the better...
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