Rain
Comic 552 - Emily, Alone
Author Notes:
As an aside, I only decided with this page, "you know what, I'm gonna make Emily be into Yoga." I've heard it's good for pregnant women. It's also probably good for someone like her who has a history of anger. It just all around seemed like a good idea for her. ^_^
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Rain, all characters and all other aspects of the story are copyright material belonging to me.
Don't forget, Rain - Volume 1 and 2 are available for purchase. ^_^
Also, I've said this before, but I'm trying to raise money for SRS, and I'm still struggling with it. If you can help, it would be most welcome. If not, don’t worry about it. I totally understand (you don't need to feel bad or apologize if you can’t).
And once again, with new characters comes a new cover!
Also, I love your Sylveon plush XD
What.
Are we supposed to congratulate Emily for not getting father of her child involved?
"Well honey, one of reasons you grew up without daddy is that your mommy would be uncomfortable talking with him. But thats okay you got abandonment issues, since mommy got to feel empowered :3"
Didn't he dumped her only after she not talked to him for a few weeks over ruined party? And she only tried to tell him once, wasn't it understandable mistake on his part to think that she didn't call for serious reason? So why are we supposed to think _he_ is the jerk here? And if he's such _obvious_ jerk, why was she dating him in the first place?
Either he would never know his child, OR would be forced by Emily into something she didn't consult him over.
And she is not being strong. She is avoiding issue. Because Chase is gonna be around, and her child will eventually ask "why I don't have daddy?".
selfish coward
"Well honey, one of reasons you grew up without daddy is that your mommy would be uncomfortable talking with him."
Actually, he refused to talk to her. Perhaps he was within his right to do so two months after she dumped him. But let's call it what it is. She wanted to make it right and he hung up on her with what was essentially "bye forever".
http://rain.thecomicseries.com/comics/326
"Didn't he dumped her only after she not talked to him for a few weeks over ruined party?"
No. She dumped him the day after the party. Partly due to jealousy because he was looking at another woman all night, and partly because he provided alcohol to minors.
http://rain.thecomicseries.com/comics/190/
"And she only tried to tell him once, wasn't it understandable mistake on his part to think that she didn't call for serious reason?"
He said "have a great life" and "don't call again". Why would she call again? I wouldn't. He made it abundantly clear that he wasn't interested in anything she had to say. I can't deny that that's her own fault that he feels that way, but how is she supposed to fix things if he won't listen? Even if she tried to call again, he probably wouldn't answer.
"And if he's such _obvious_ jerk, why was she dating him in the first place?"
The same reason anyone could end up with a jerk: they didn't seem that way at first. It might be a bad idea in hindsight, but people make those kinds of mistakes in the moment. Not to mention, as this page addresses (and a fair bit of her overall development), she doesn't like being alone. Complexes like that can derail rational thought and lead to incompatible partners.
"And she is not being strong. She is avoiding issue."
Or she's avoiding further issues. Chase is extremely immature for his age; is he really prepared for something like this? This is a guy that's given alcohol to minors and dated and had sex with a minor nearly half his age while clearly not even humoring the idea that he could get her pregnant. Emily wouldn't know about this, but readers are also aware he's also walked out on his previous engagement with Kellen (http://rain.thecomicseries.com/comics/294/). So can we say with certainty that he's a reliable, responsible person? Can we trust him to stick around? Is raising a kid in a home where mommy and daddy are always fighting necessarily an improvement over a home with one parent who can devote more time to their child?
On an aside note, I have a minor obsession with carrots, even going so far as to name my group of friends after them, in a sense. xD So seeing the Carrot phone Emily has is a plus. Today is gonna be a great day, I can feel it. ^^
Honestly, probably the best thing my parents ever did in terms of raising us was getting devorced while we were young--so we were no longer in the unhealthy environment of a household filled with bitterness, resentment, & anger. We were no longer given an unhealthy image of what a relationship should look like. In the end, I now have strong relationships with my mother, father, & stepfather (and I get an absolutely awesome stepdad out of it!)
As to abandonment issues, people who have never known their father are far less likely to have abandonment issues than those whose father left them when they were growing up--and given Chase's track record, that seems a pretty in-character thing for him to do.
Emily has made a decision to remove someone from her life who was a toxic influence on her, & to raise her child without said toxic influence--a positive decision for her own well-being, as well as that of her child.
I've known people who grew up in single parent households or with a teenage mother, etc, whom have gone on to have perfectly healthy childhoods and grow into well-adjusted adults. I've also known a stunning number of people who grew up in affluent two-parent households which were abusive. Assuming that having the father in the child's life is for the best based on some preconceived notion that this is the "right" way to do things seems enviably naive.
And there's no reason to assume Emily will stay single, and I've also seen firsthand how wonderful and loving an adoptive father can be.
I guess I should've made it clear that I have no inclinations towards them getting together. Just him helping out, and Emily letting him know he is father. Its not only hers baby, its theirs.
"Chase is extremely immature for his age; is he really prepared for something like this? This is a guy that's given alcohol to minors and dated and had sex with a minor nearly half his age while clearly not even humoring the idea that he could get her pregnant."
That is true. If you date someone half your age it it usually because you're too immature to date someone your age. He might not be good enough to move in with her, but is mundane stuff like doing groceries for her, or keeping eye on the kid two or three times a month while she takes care of something else, really too much for him? If he really is such sociopath he wouldn't do even that, I am surprised he hadn't punched her on the first date. Even abusive husbands usually pay for the bills.
"Even if she tried to call again, he probably wouldn't answer."
Send a text message? Nowadays phones show first few words of it on the message list? He would read "I am pregnant" even if he tried to delete it without reading it.
You don't always need to give someone a second chance, if its obvious they'd waste it, but having responsibility changes some people for good (not all off them, yeah). And its important enough, for the future of the baby, that Emily sucked it (NOT date Chase, imma making it clear second time), and asked him if he wants to help (no begging, no threatening him with family courts or child support). If he does, and he's more help than bother, all is good. If he refuses, or turns out to be useless, then its justified to shut him out of her child life. But the decision needs to be his, or he will be resentful either way. I guess my biggest issue in the end, is matter of principle: he has right to know.
"Why are you so convinced that the child's life would be better if Chase--a completely irresponsible absolute jerk--was in their life?"
Convinced? No. Not even inclined. But since Emily refused to either abort or give up child to adoption, I'm looking into next best option.
loving biological family > loving adoptive family > mom with dad that helps out sometimes > single loving parent > both parent present, one abusive > both parents abusive > one abusive parent
So, the Emily has chance to "upgrade her family" from 4 to 3, and she isn't really risking 5, since if Chase tried something funny, cops would be more than happy to rough him up, thats how things work.
"Assuming that having the father in the child's life is for the best based on some preconceived notion that this is the "right" way to do things seems enviably naive."
No. Is having mother being good is also preconceived notion? Is not being raised by wolves is also preconceived notion? Raising child is hard, and it helps if two people bring stuff to the table.
"Honestly, probably the best thing my parents ever did in terms of raising us was getting devorced"
I am sorry for your loss. There was a time when I though "Maybe I should tell my parents it okay to get divorced" (i was ~12), but then I thought: "Well, f*** you mom and dad, I'd be bad for me if I was raised by single parent, there would be less money around due to cost of divorce and such. Not to mention I'd have to put up with some weird boyfriend/girlfriend whomever I am living with would bring home. I didn't asked to be born, but since you brought me to this world, suck it up and stay together, just try not no kill yourself before I am of employable age." I am slightly exaggerating with the last part, there was never anything more than shouting, and over time, things just calmed down, long before I left for university. I guess each of them realized the other person is here to stay, and its bad to make enemy out of someone who lives at the same house. And the only two reasons they knew of why other person is there to stay, are: "For sake of our children" and "Other people would talk bad about us if we divorced" - kinda like I am talking bad about Emily. Its best if parents stay together for first reason, but if its second, its good enough. I guess I should at least thank them for teaching me value of my life enough not to sacrifice it for sakes of someones convenience, even theirs. In suppose yours didn't, thats why you defend their selfishness that cost you happy childhood. In my mind, wishing your parents being divorced is one step down from wishing yourself dead.
I never said thing above to anyone before.
Even if I am to be hated for doing do, I will continue to condemn parents who place their happiness before that of their children. You understand why I take stance on this issue so strongly? My point stands. Its better if two parents are around.
The conversation that Emily needs to have with her mother is far more important anyways. She is going to need a lot of support--especially if she wants to pursue her education--over the next few years. Or at least financial support, since it doesn't seem likely her mom will be heavily involved personally.
The choice to involve Chase is a very different situation if Emily has a solid place to reach out to him from. Reaching out to him from a vulnerable position may not be a good idea. So I'd think the timing is probably bad.
To an extent, Chase probably deserves the opportunity to rise up to meet his obligations. This is the sort of thing that does change people (not all people of course). Obviously his lack of maturity and inability to commit is a serious concern.
This is the type of very personal choice for someone to make. Either decision could be a mistake, and quite frankly you just sometimes don't know how it will play out. Just like the decision to get an abortion or not, this is the type of decision that it is hard to know what you'd decide until you're there in their shoes.
And of course her age also puts some additional considerations. For one Emily's mother might bring the authorities into this based on Emily's age. So this is a rather complex situation to begin with.
For comparison, my stepdad DID stay with his first wife "for the kids". I was there the day my (step)sis told him that the day she & her brother found out (as established adults) that their parents were separating, they both could only ask why this hadn't happened sooner. They both have expressed the joy of seeing beloved parents happy. I cannot imagine ever wishing that Mum, Dad, & my (step)dad had been denied the happiness that they each have now.
As to your insisting that Emily give Chase the chance to be in their child's life: Now is not the time. Emily is in an incredibly vulnerable place right now, and bringing such a toxic influence back into her life for any reason would be unhealthy. Given that the health of the pregnant mother directly impacts on the development of the unborn child (stress hormones, for example, have been linked to child behaviour), it would probably also be in the child's long-term interests to avoid such a senario right now as well.
Calling Chase out of loneliness & desperation is not the safe thing to do, and offering him a door back into her life is not a sensible decision. Emily is showing amazing maturity and fortitude for this strip. Maybe, when she (and the child) are in a stronger position, then it would be a good decision to try talking to Chase again. But now is not that time.
And in terms of whether or not I think mothers should be automatically involved in children's lives, my position is the same as with fathers: It depends on the child, the parent/s, and the situation. A "one size fits all" mentality--which is necessary to have a ranking of possible options--ignores all of the subtleties of our gloriously varied and complicated world. I've known a equal number of people with abusive mothers to people with abusive fathers (and all kinds of abuse, as well, & in a variety of gender combinations).
Everything except that wishing my parent were divorced, after I made it clear, that to me personally, it would be second worst thing to me being dead. You might as well threated to murder me, I'd be only slightly more upset. You don't break a vow, you decided to make in a church despite living under communist dictatorship. "Comrades, why are you being involved in such silly superstitions?", said, uh, everyone who could make problems for them? Pulling together worked out for MY parents. Don't act like its certain my childhood was worse, since you admitted yours have shown you bitterness, resentment, & anger and skewed image of relationship.
B) You seem utterly incapable of recognising that, despite or even because of my parents' devorce, I had a happy childhood. I did. Meanwhile, the majority of people I know whose parents "stayed together for the kids" ended up regretting living in such a bitter environment, and many of them continued to show unhealthy attitude towards relationships.
C) I'm going to admit that I find your apparent problem with the religious debates over devorce deliciously ironic, considering that both my mother and my stepfather are well-respected priests of many years' experience--and in my mother's case, a fairly highly ranked and relatively influential one within my country at that.
me: "you admitted yours have shown you bitterness, resentment, & anger and skewed image of relationship."
you: "Mine wasn't full of bitterness, etc, thanks to my parents devorcing rather than carrying on in an unhappy relationship."
Make up your mind, first you say you've been shown some bitterness until your parents divorced, then you act as if you didn't. Or did you just assume that when I said "shown you", I meant "wasn't a single day ever when they weren't bashing each other with baseball bats in front of you" (i didn't), as opposed to actual "was bad in the past, but got better after divorced" - which I never questioned as true.
"You seem utterly incapable of recognising that, despite or even because of my parents' devorce, I had a happy childhood. I did. Meanwhile, the majority of people I know whose parents "stayed together for the kids" ended up regretting living in such a bitter environment, and many of them continued to show unhealthy attitude towards relationships."
And you are utterly incapable of recognizing, that it did worked out for my parents and me, thats all I claimed as objective truth.
Did I ever said: "shut up! you were unhappy with your parents divorce, end of story!"? No, I didn't. I even admitted that: "there are no absolutes, and there ARE situations where unorthodox approach is best." So how exactly am I denying that divorce worked out in your particular case, and staying together didn't worked out in some of cases you know personally?
Theoretical question: If instead of divorcing, your parents worked hard on improving themselves, made up and stayed a happy family, would you be unhappy with the result?
If you say they could never work it out, ok, but thats why its theoretical question.
"I'm going to admit that I find your apparent problem with the religious debates over devorce deliciously ironic, considering that both my mother and my stepfather are well-respected priests of many years' experience--and in my mother's case, a fairly highly ranked and relatively influential one within my country at that."
Religious debates? Hardly. All I ask from people who are marrying at Church to at least be consistent. If you consider marriage unbreakable oath, ok, just keep that oath. If you don't think marriage is unbreakable oath, don't give unbreakable oath in front of your supposed deity. You don't have to be married at Church, this isn't theocracy. And to my parents, who lived under communist regime, they got married in church, so it seems they took things consistingly serious.
You can even be atheist, and still find distasteful people going against their word, word given in front of someone or something they consider absolute holiness, even if you do not. If someone you knew gave word "on their mothers grave", you'd still think less of them if they broke it, even if you didn"t gave a damn about theirs dead mom.
She is not avoiding the issue, she is making an executive decision. She is deciding that Chase represents too much of a risk, as a potentially irresponsible, abusive or neglecting partner/parent, to involve in her life.
@Mackus
You are an obvious jerk. I wish I could stop seeing you, but there's no ability to block users on this site.
I totally agree. I just end up scrolling past any of their posts because I always get upset or angry reading them