Rain
Comic 480 - Token
Author Notes:
I tried to achieve this for Fara more with her hair than anything. I guess it just seems like the easiest way to address the passage of time. But I couldn't have a long-haired Fara. It just does not work for her. So I needed a younger, cuter variation of her typical very short style. It's not exactly a big jump for her, but I think I like it. The flip in back is quite charming.
Vincent's younger "Vivian" presentation was even trickier, because it required more than just a specific design, but a distinct sort of expression. What I knew was that I definitely wanted him to be very feminine-looking. Even exceptionally so. This is a person who really internalized his dysphoria so well, that he blended seamlessly as the gender that society wanted him to be (even if it wasn't what he wanted). But I also wanted to give the impression that he didn't entirely hate who he was back then either. Not in the sense where he could be content with "either or," but in the sense that his old life wasn't actually that bad. He liked to sing and he got to sing. He liked women, and he got to fall for one. So everything is fine and dandy, right? Just a regular cis lesbian woman, right? Obviously not, but that's what he wanted people to think. TL;DR - Trans person that doesn't want to be trans or transition.
And that entire last paragraph had to be packed into this character's design. How'd I do?
This blurb is long enough, but I just want to give special mention to the band name and it's logo. When I was younger, the "toaster on fire" design was like my emblem. In high school (maybe even middle school), I would draw them all over my notebooks. And back when anyone still cared about Guitar Hero, that was always my band name. By extension, it seemed the obvious name for Vincent's band. ^_^
©2004-2014
Rain, all characters and all other aspects of the story are copyright material belonging to me.
At around age 20-21 I played guitar and sang in a heavy metal glam rock band, this was the early 1980s. I was so skinny back then and had a full head of long brown hair down past my shoulders and on stage wore red satin pants that showed off my girly-shaped ass so well. The times were horrible back then for trans people though, any trans girl was referred to as a "female impersonator" (or worse) and outside of stage performances, an object of ridicule and humiliation. I caught so much hell just for presenting as a longhaired male. I so desparately wanted to get both my ears pierced back then, but didn't have the guts to face the barrage of judgement that would have brought, and today I still do not have pierced ears, but my first pair of earrings are on the way... just got the email from Etsy saying they shipped yesterday afternoon.
i actually had a very, very good singing voice... even now i'll try to fire up my old computer and listen to recordings of my singing... its... kinda sad to lose that... and ofc i was happy when i was singing...
its also the only thing i miss. i retrained my speaking voice (quite well, actually. if anyone is ever unsure about me, they 'become sure' when i start speaking)... and I can't do my old voice... first of all, i can't find the right place for it... but also it hurts to try to speak deep.
but singing? sometimes i can carry a decent female voice. but i'd never have confidence to even sing at a small pub for karaoke... so singing onstage with a big crowd? yeah, that's out.
i *can* actuallysomehow sing deep without too much pain (i could probably handle a three song set?) ... but idk i'd ever want to... it'd be... too confusing.
so yeah... i get that Vincent could have been partly happy in certain circumstances and situations... and even have some nostalgia about their musical career... i know that i do...