By the way, did you know that after looking at a list of names starting with J, the capital letter J starts to look less like a "J" and more like a backwards L? Seriously, it's really weird how fast that happened. I've had that happen with words, but never with just a single letter. ._.
That happened to me too (mine was really funny though). It was on my first birthday after coming out to my parents. They came up to see me, and insisted to sing Happy Birthday. My friends were already in the habit of calling me "Jocelyn" but I happened to not be presenting female at that time. I did not get to brief anyone that my parents knew yet either.
And I don't think it occurred to anyone what name they should say until they started singing. It just came out with nearly a dozen people going: "Happy birthday, dear Juu~uh..." trailing off at my name.
My birth name was Joshua. Initially, I'd chosen "Jocelyn" as a placeholder to make it easier for my friends and family to get used to (because it's sorta similar-ish, and can be shorted to "Joss" if they really can't handle the full name). I grew attached to Jocelyn though, so I stuck with it. Ironically, I don't like "Joss" much (I prefer the full name or Lynn if it must be shortened), but a lot of people call me anyway 'cause I next to never bring it up. My own fault, that one. XD
What j-eagle said is true; it is actually poor etiquette to ask for the birth name of a trans person. That said, there's no need to apologize. I'm not upset or anything. I would humbly request that you not ask other trans folk this (many would be very upset about it). If they offer it to you on their own or say you can ask anything, that's one thing, but it is considered rude otherwise.
That said, speaking purely for myself, I am an open book. If anyone ever has any questions for me, I will be happy to answer. I'm not one to get offended easily, and I believe that people need to learn things from somewhere. If I can take the hard questions so someone else doesn't have to, I am wholly willing and happy to help. ^_^
Ah, I was wondering.
Thanks for the tip on the entire naming thing, I have never known a trans person, so everything I learn is from your webcomic Rain.
I honestly didn't know. Whoops!
I figured. Don't worry though. I knew you meant no harm. Like I said in this case, no harm no foul. I'm more than happy to answer any questions as long as I know the answer. ^_^
Hi. Just wanted to pop in and say thank you for making this entire comic. It's very rare that trans people get portrayed in fiction from what I've seen (especially done so accurately, and especially when the character is important), and so it's really great to see a comic that portrays it so well. My brother (well, born sister, but you know what I mean) is trans, so yeah... Thanks!
Oh, and I also have an ace relative, so it was nice to see one of them around too. They're also rather glossed over, I find.
Oh, and I laughed at this. I admit it. This is right up there among embarrassing mistakes along with, "What did you say your name was?" "I DON'T KNOW!"
Indeed. Once someone asked what my name was and I said something like, "Ermm, well you might not believe me, but I don't actually remember right now." I was freakin' out in my head, it was funny. This was long before I had any idea I was trans though, so it didn't have anything to do with getting used to a new name or anything like that. I seriously had no excuse for that one.
I've actually panicked when someone asked me for my name, triggering an internal debate in my head. "Do I give them my preferred name or my legal name? This seems kind of official, maybe they do need my legal name. But that would give me away! But what if they look me up and can't find a Jen anywhere..."
On the outside it just sounded like "Um... er... That's... Ah..." I think once someone even asked "Is it really a tough question?"
Yeah, I have that problem every time a friend of mine introduces me to a friend of theirs, though I shouldn´t be too afraid of it anyways, I´m still not out to my parent after all these years, or rather am but they neglected so I "stopped". I hate being this overly fearful...
I know, it´s stupid, but thinking about trying to break free and coming out to them again makes me feel like a selfish, awful person... I prefer being/getting hurt instead of hurting them
You shouldn't have to hurt yourself just to make them happy though :( It's not selfish or awful just to be yourself. You've done nothing wrong. I mean, maybe I'm the wrong person to ask, since me being outed to my parents hurt them deeply and I haven't really been in touch with them since... But I sincerely believe lying about yourself isn't worth it... Hang in there~
I am aware that there are people who are born the wrong gender, but as a Transexual yourself, I feel it would be more appropriate to get the answers I am looking for, from the source (not of all trans people but I mean someone who is). I am sure this is rude, and I really am sorry if it comes across that way, believe me that is not my intention. I want to know, what are things I should avoid bringing up in conversation so that things wouldn't be made awkward by myself being an ignorant prat?
I don't mean this in such a way that Trans-folk are to be treated differently, they're just people, but while I was in school (and much less educated than I am now) I made a girl hate me because the previous year, she was "in the closet" so to speak. I'd really rather not come across as a douche, y'know?
I get there are things like "What was your birth name?" or "But you're really a guy right?" Because none of those are relevant (nor any of my business). I don't want anyone who might be hiding their true selves to feel like they have to hide because of my ignorance. Most of all, I'd rather not be the pathetic air-head that "outed" them.
Again, sorry if this came across as rude, I promise I mean no malcontent!
My birth name is Rudy. It never occured to me or anyone in my life to use Ruby. Lol!!!
The very first time I publicly presented as female, the name Ruth was given to me by my sister who loaned me her dress and my girlfriend. I was 8 years old, and it was longer ago than before probably all of you were even born, and maybe before many of your parents were even born. I never really cared for the name Ruth, always thought it was an old woman's name... but hey, I really *am* old now, so it fits. Besides it now has a rich history, so here I am... I guess I really am Ruth now. Besides, I don't want a stripper's name, Lol! And trust me, you *don't* want to see me as a stripper that would require more eye bleach than exists on the whole planet. On a happier note however, I've been doing things to help myself look younger and tonight I bought some wine at the local supermarket and the checkout clerk carded me because she said I looked under 40! I danced a happy dance like Snoopy in the Peanuts cartoon as I left the store! I haven't been carded in years and it felt GREAT!. Just wait until after I've been on HRT for a while (hopefully beginning around Sept 1st if all goes well with the counselor and endo physician). I so desparately want to look young and pretty again... because I wasted my youth.
By the way, did you know that after looking at a list of names starting with J, the capital letter J starts to look less like a "J" and more like a backwards L? Seriously, it's really weird how fast that happened. I've had that happen with words, but never with just a single letter. ._.
That happened to me too (mine was really funny though). It was on my first birthday after coming out to my parents. They came up to see me, and insisted to sing Happy Birthday. My friends were already in the habit of calling me "Jocelyn" but I happened to not be presenting female at that time. I did not get to brief anyone that my parents knew yet either.
And I don't think it occurred to anyone what name they should say until they started singing. It just came out with nearly a dozen people going: "Happy birthday, dear Juu~uh..." trailing off at my name.
I laughed SO hard. XD
Fara laughs, but it's the laugh of a Mastermind; she knows she's always in control.
My birth name was Joshua. Initially, I'd chosen "Jocelyn" as a placeholder to make it easier for my friends and family to get used to (because it's sorta similar-ish, and can be shorted to "Joss" if they really can't handle the full name). I grew attached to Jocelyn though, so I stuck with it. Ironically, I don't like "Joss" much (I prefer the full name or Lynn if it must be shortened), but a lot of people call me anyway 'cause I next to never bring it up. My own fault, that one. XD
What j-eagle said is true; it is actually poor etiquette to ask for the birth name of a trans person. That said, there's no need to apologize. I'm not upset or anything. I would humbly request that you not ask other trans folk this (many would be very upset about it). If they offer it to you on their own or say you can ask anything, that's one thing, but it is considered rude otherwise.
That said, speaking purely for myself, I am an open book. If anyone ever has any questions for me, I will be happy to answer. I'm not one to get offended easily, and I believe that people need to learn things from somewhere. If I can take the hard questions so someone else doesn't have to, I am wholly willing and happy to help. ^_^
Thanks for the tip on the entire naming thing, I have never known a trans person, so everything I learn is from your webcomic Rain.
I honestly didn't know. Whoops!
I figured. Don't worry though. I knew you meant no harm. Like I said in this case, no harm no foul. I'm more than happy to answer any questions as long as I know the answer. ^_^
You NEVER ask a trans person what their birth name was. It is very disrespectful.
Oh, and I also have an ace relative, so it was nice to see one of them around too. They're also rather glossed over, I find.
Oh, and I laughed at this. I admit it. This is right up there among embarrassing mistakes along with, "What did you say your name was?" "I DON'T KNOW!"
On the outside it just sounded like "Um... er... That's... Ah..." I think once someone even asked "Is it really a tough question?"
I don't have that problem anymore :)
Whoops! Thanks for catching that! ^^;
I don't mean this in such a way that Trans-folk are to be treated differently, they're just people, but while I was in school (and much less educated than I am now) I made a girl hate me because the previous year, she was "in the closet" so to speak. I'd really rather not come across as a douche, y'know?
I get there are things like "What was your birth name?" or "But you're really a guy right?" Because none of those are relevant (nor any of my business). I don't want anyone who might be hiding their true selves to feel like they have to hide because of my ignorance. Most of all, I'd rather not be the pathetic air-head that "outed" them.
Again, sorry if this came across as rude, I promise I mean no malcontent!
The very first time I publicly presented as female, the name Ruth was given to me by my sister who loaned me her dress and my girlfriend. I was 8 years old, and it was longer ago than before probably all of you were even born, and maybe before many of your parents were even born. I never really cared for the name Ruth, always thought it was an old woman's name... but hey, I really *am* old now, so it fits. Besides it now has a rich history, so here I am... I guess I really am Ruth now. Besides, I don't want a stripper's name, Lol! And trust me, you *don't* want to see me as a stripper that would require more eye bleach than exists on the whole planet. On a happier note however, I've been doing things to help myself look younger and tonight I bought some wine at the local supermarket and the checkout clerk carded me because she said I looked under 40! I danced a happy dance like Snoopy in the Peanuts cartoon as I left the store! I haven't been carded in years and it felt GREAT!. Just wait until after I've been on HRT for a while (hopefully beginning around Sept 1st if all goes well with the counselor and endo physician). I so desparately want to look young and pretty again... because I wasted my youth.