Comic 420 - One Step at a Time

8th Sep 2013, 10:32 PM in Ch. 16: The Exception
One Step at a Time
Average Rating: 4.9 (10 votes)
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Author Notes:

Jocelyn 8th Sep 2013, 10:32 PM edit delete
Let’s go ahead and draw special attention Rain’s interaction with Emily here. She’s coming out about being maybe lesbian but NOT about being transgender. Is that weird? This is actually something I kinda used to go through years ago, but I don’t know if it’s common occurrence or if I was just weird (and I guess in this case, Rain too).

As for the rest of it, I don’t even know where to begin. There is kind of a lot being covered right here. Your thoughts are always most welcome though.

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Nightsky 8th Sep 2013, 11:12 PM edit delete reply
I think it just feels/seems easier to gain acceptance for being gay as opposed to changing your entire body to become the opposite sex. Your sexuality is something you're born with and having naturally. Being transsexual, though, makes you need to actually change yourself. It just seems a bit bigger than liking someone, I guess. ...I don't know how to word it, it's 11 and my brain's melted from planning my entire college career in four hours. :P

Again, I'm glad that Rain and Rudy will still be friends. It's probably for the best she has as little else on her mind as possible, and it seems pretty clear that they'd have to break up sooner or later.

But on that note, Rain doesn't give herself enough credit. She's really strong, just for being herself. It's one thing to be yourself when you're as easygoing and open as Rudy, but to be yourself when you're so shy and lack so much confidence? That's a different kind of strength altogether, and a much richer one in my opinion.
Alex Concussion (Mejui) 9th Sep 2013, 1:52 AM edit delete reply
Ah, the complexities of sexuality and gender identity. Ironically, my ultra-conservative mom and stepdad seemed rather okay with my being trans... until they realized that it also means I'm gay.

It was then came the "I'm not a bigot, but you're not allowed in my house" speech. :\
Alice Sara 9th Sep 2013, 10:29 AM edit delete reply
Alice Sara
It is strange. My family is very accepting, but my Mom still can't quite wrap her head around the idea that I'm a lesbian. The trans bit, she can mostly accept if not understand.
Calli 9th Sep 2013, 12:33 PM edit delete reply
My parents were slightly accepting of my being trans (mtf), but would be opposed to my dating a guy, because in their minds, that would be homosexuality.

But it's totally okay for me to transition and date a girl. >.>
Mademise 9th Sep 2013, 3:04 AM edit delete reply
I've found out that, in the Catholic high-school-age community I spend a lot of time with these days, it's a lot easier for me to tell people "I like girls" than "I'm a guy". (I haven't started social transition yet, so they view me as female.) There's so much media acceptance/awareness of different sexual orientations ("you can't help who you fall in love with") and hardly any awareness of trans* issues and identities.
Adri 9th Sep 2013, 7:08 AM edit delete reply
Honestly, I think that even with the Catholic anti gay view, it is more accepted to admit you're gay, then admit that you're a transgender. If that makes sense. (It's way early for me and my brain doesn't work for another hour or five...) So, Rain coming out about liking girls is a smaller hurdle to cross. It's also the lesser of two 'evils' when it comes to telling Emily her secret. It satisfies her curiosity, without making Rain too vulnerable.

I know that my own personal struggle with my sexuality in high school was...hard. Not as hard as my gay or lesbian friends in some ways, but more confusing I think. I can feel her pain here, can understand what she's going through. She's still got her transition to stress about, and having someone she can talk to besides her now ex boyfriend who doesn't know about her transition might be nice. Emily can talk to her as a girl to a girl, not that little undertone of well, this is really a boy under that dress and hair. (It sucks to say it that way, but it's true. So many people still do it, even after a person has fully transitioned) Also, she's seen already how the school accepts...sort of...the gays it already has. But transgender is an unknown thing that is a huge hurdle to pass.

Anyways, I'm done rambling for the morning I think. Now, where is my coffee?
j-eagle12212012 9th Sep 2013, 7:55 AM edit delete reply
I don't know what to say that hasn't already been said, to me it's easier to admit your sexuality to someone else as opposed to explaining your gender identity.
Marlee-The-Creator 9th Sep 2013, 10:49 AM edit delete reply
I don't think it's weird. I hope I don't sound closed minded about this, but I prefer not to refer to transgenders as transgendered. Just he or she. And going off of that, Rain is a girl. And in my mind, since she is a girl, who likes girls, she is a lesbian. I think it would be wrong to say she can't really be a lesbian since she is trans* because that would be saying she's not a girl, because she is. Does that make sense?
dempsy40 9th Sep 2013, 6:03 PM edit delete reply
yeah it does make sense
Impish 10th Sep 2013, 8:23 PM edit delete reply
hey could you maybe not say 'transgenders' (like, as a noun)? it just rubs me the wrong way, like when I hear straight people talking about 'gays'. (unless you're trans too in which case I have no business telling you what to say about yrself)

anyway, it varies. like, I get where you're coming from; but to me personally, it's really important to stress that being trans doesn't make me less of a girl. nor vice-versa. 'cause I *AM* transgender. When I say I'm a girl that's not lying or pretending or whatever, but if I said I wasn't trans, that would be. 'trans' shouldn't be exclusive with the gender we are. and I feel like if I tried to shy away from the label, it would be like saying that being trans meant I couldn't *really* be a girl, and that's bs.

(I mean a lot of the time I DO have to pretend that I'm cis / hide that I'm trans in order to not get hate, but that's different obvs, I'm not doing that because I want to, just 'cause I'm afraid)

I'm not accusing you of not understanding or being disrespectful or anything, mind, not at all! Just saying my view on it.
hylleddin 10th Sep 2013, 5:34 PM edit delete reply
I'm the same way. I guess I feel that I'm more likely to be accepted as lesbian than as trans. Plus, being lesbian is something I like about my identity, while being trans is more like just a detail about my past.
Tacopius 16th Sep 2013, 4:08 PM edit delete reply
In my parents' opinion, I'm not really a girl, just a "feminine man" :P So me being attracted to girls is no big deal for them, since they just think that means I'm straight. Other people tend to be more surprised when I tell them I'm a lesbian, though I'm not sure why. I think when some people know I'm trans*, it's confusing to them because they think that a transwoman must be interested in guys :P No, I've tried to get interested (not going as far as Rain did) but I'm pretty decidedly gay. Although it's easier for me to tell people that I'm gay than it is to say that I'm transgender.
Syrup 7th Sep 2014, 3:28 PM edit delete reply
@Jocelyn CONGRATUDLATIONS rudy is the third worst not the worst now rain is back up there with 9th best and your still alive
Jocelyn 7th Sep 2014, 6:34 PM edit delete reply

I really can't wrap my head around your numbering system... ^^;
Zi 22nd Aug 2015, 9:42 AM edit delete reply
I'm with Rain here... In my life, I'm pretty open about being lesbian (I have a lovely girlfriend!) but I'm much less candid about being trans. I'm even not using my usual username here because I'm a little scared that connecting it with my more public username might end up in some bad situations... V~V

I'm "stealth" I guess, because I don't have to admit my past, I can just be a normal girl, and never have to feel paranoid about other people thinking I'm a freak. I don't want to be trans, I just want to be a girl. I don't want all the baggage that comes with it, the second guessing of other people's thoughts, the feeling like an outsider, the worry that they don't see me the way I want to be seen... ;-;
rista 14th Oct 2015, 3:19 PM edit delete reply
Am I the only one curios about the wording and lack of color in the last panel? I know I'm behind at this point but this just seems like a foreshadowing that doom is just around the corner.. Guess I'll find out soon. 400+ pages in 2 days.
Transginger 26th Mar 2016, 5:37 PM edit delete reply
Of the people I have come out to as transgender, I told most of them I am a lesbian to start with. Most got it immediately, but it took some a little bit of explaining. For instance, a close friend of mine told me he was gay. I told him shortly thereafter that I was a lesbian. He immediately understood me, and since he has been a HUGE help. Introducing (and in some cases reintroducing) me to many accepting people. One of whom introduced me to this comic!

Telling people that I'm a lesbian helps tremendously, as I can gauge someone's reaction before I actually tell them. If someone reacts as though it's joke after telling them I'm being serious, the are obviously not someone I want to be telling. For me, it's another way to protect myself.
Sky Beams 30th Jul 2016, 5:01 PM edit delete reply
My MariaXRain and RudyXRain ships just crashed into an iceberg and exploded. At least my MariaXChanel ship is still sailing. :(
no 7th Nov 2020, 4:23 AM edit delete reply
whats up with no color on the last page? that´s usually a flashback thing... but then, I guess it was narrated in the past tense, technically. I´m just gonna go with that explanation for now
abitenum 2nd Jan 2022, 2:22 AM edit delete reply
"Why [is] one so much more difficult to say than the other"

I've been wondering that myself. I remember I didn't have any issues saying to my family I thought I might be asexual after first learning the term (something I don't think is accurate anymore), but I've always struggled to even think about bringing up my gender questioning to them, even when I know they will be supportive.
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