Comic 329 - Just Like Him

17th Feb 2013, 8:00 PM in Ch 13: Togetherness
Just Like Him
Average Rating: 4.94 (18 votes)
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Author Notes:

Jocelyn 17th Feb 2013, 8:00 PM edit delete
Whoa… O_O

Um, thoughts?

Rain, all characters and all other aspects of the story are copyright material belonging to me.

(As an aside, I hope this doesn’t ruin the mood or anything, but I am officially fulltime as of today. Still need to get my name and legal gender fixed, but progress like this feels amazing! ^_^)
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GigaNerd17 17th Feb 2013, 8:07 PM edit delete reply
...Amazing. I'm close to speechless. O_O

Gave a little cheer when Aiken got slapped, but the revelation afterwards made me feel terrible.

EDIT: And Rain's crying. So sad!! ;~;
CyberSkull 17th Feb 2013, 8:10 PM edit delete reply
The sins of the father are the bad behaviors we pass to our children.
j-eagle12212012 17th Feb 2013, 8:50 PM edit delete reply

CONGRATS ^_^ I Can't wait to be official .

Jocelyn 17th Feb 2013, 9:01 PM edit delete reply

Thank you very much! And I wish you the very best as well. ^_^
Nightsky 17th Feb 2013, 8:51 PM edit delete reply
It's a sad truth that children of awful parents will often copy the parent, no matter how much they swear to not be like them. They can't help it; they don't have many other role models.

Still, this is the most revealing page in a long time. This explains a lot about why Rain and Aiken are the ways they are, as well as their mother's absence.

By the way, is Fara bi? Or was she just going through a phase where she was seeing if she was a lesbian or not?
Jocelyn 17th Feb 2013, 9:00 PM edit delete reply

Their mother's absence has technically been mentioned before (although this now is a bit more detailed) -

And yep! Fara is indeed bi -
Some Ed 12th Jun 2017, 11:06 PM edit delete reply
My wife has frequently asked me how I came to be a wonderful person, when she finds things out about my family.

My answer is always along the lines of, "I've had so many people show me what not to do, figuring out what's left generally works fairly well."

To be fair, I'm not aware of any of my family members committing incest, having sex with corpses, or trying to assault elected officials. But entering a court room with a blood alcohol level of .43, to be able to testify to the family's alcohol tolerance, to ensure that a sibling didn't get off of drug running charges because the jury disbelieved that the douchecastle was pulled over for speeding, rather than obviously DUI, while he had a blood alcohol level of .41? Check. Someone attempting to go into politics after his brother entered a court room with a blood alcohol level of .43 to...? Check. Many other idiot moves? Check.

As far as my siblings go: oldest sibling got a bachelors in accounting, and then immediately accepted a job as a head chef and never looked back. He's doing well. My other siblings, on the other hand, are clearly members of the family.

As far as role models I've actually followed? I had a few teachers who were decent and a few classmates who weren't horrible. Beyond that, mostly sci-fi characters. And most of those had some horrible moments.

On a more comic related note, any chance that Mr. Flaherty changed his name to Johnson after he left to evade being tracked down?
Aislinn 17th Feb 2013, 11:03 PM edit delete reply
Aiken... had that coming. Fara has been very patient with him until now, but finding out all of this - I'd probably do the same, in her place. Both the smack and the kicking him out.

It is true that we take after our parents more often than we'd like, but that does not change the fact that Aiken must be responsible for his own actions - which have been reprehensible. And, frankly, a kick in the ass (metaphorically) might be what he needs.
Mackus 18th Feb 2013, 6:18 AM edit delete reply
Ugh, Fara, I know Aiken had been a jerk, but place yourself in his shoes. Just because YOU wouldn't mind dating/marrying trangendered person, doesn't mean Aiken would be fine with it. Fara was not hurting anyone by dating woman, Aiken fiancee hurted HIM.
Hell, just hiding from future spouse about being sterile, is horrible way to start marriage, and good way to ensure it would be short. Didn't his fiancee told him the truth only because there was no way he wouldn't find out, and not because she wanted to be honest with him?
Again, I hope he makes peace with his fiancee, but break up on good terms.
dumok 18th Feb 2013, 8:24 AM edit delete reply

I have to agree here, Aiken has every right to not like trannies at the moment. I've said this before, SOme guys do not like being lied to. Aiken's fiance broke his heart, not because she was TG, but because she LIED to him about it.
Aiken never gave any indication of being Gay or of being attracted to men not only that but his fiance took away his right to decide for himself if he wants to be involved with a trans person until after he got emotionally involved enough to want to marry her. Not that what he is doing to Rain/Ryan is right, but think about it, Not only did his fiance lie to him, but so did his little sibling. If I were in his shoes I would not want to be around someone that reminds me of the liar I just left.
Jude P. 18th Feb 2013, 10:29 AM edit delete reply
No, Aiken has some right to be upset that his fiancee lied, but no right whatsoever to hate transsexuals as a result. There's no justification for hating an entire group of people because one of them did something bad.
Also, in my opinion, what's-her-face's lie was mostly excusable. Coming out is really hard and Aiken should have been supportive.
Aimy 18th Feb 2013, 1:24 PM edit delete reply
No, Aiken does not have the right to not like trans* folk right now (and it's trans* folk, not trannies, thankyouverymuch)
guys don't like being lied to, sure. actually, people in general don't like being lied to. but this is also true, people lie. it happens, and just because he was lied to by a trans*person gives him no more right to not like trans people just like being lied to by a black person or a woman doesn't give anyone the right to not like black people or women.
furthermore, being involved with a trans*person in no way makes someone gay, or bi. Aiken's fiance is a woman. A trans*woman, but still a woman. Aiken's relationship with her is strictly heterosexual. If he is unable to understand that, that's his problem, and he is at fault for it.
Finally, Aiken's fiance's lie, as well as Rain's are mostly, if not completely excusable because of the stigma that being trans* carries. how about you put yourself in Aiken's fiance's shoes: revealing your status as a trans* individual to a romantic partner can often lead to verbal abuse, if not violence. Perhaps she is at fault for waiting until they were engaged, but she had more than enough reason to be anxious about revealing her trans* status.
Now put yourself in Rain's shoes. Coming out to family as trans* many times results in ostracizement and being disowned. As well as, especially with trans* youth, risk of verbal and physical abuse. Coming out is something that cannot be expected of a trans* person, and, if possible, should happen when they, and they alone are ready for it. There are far too many homeless and abused trans* youth without demanding that those who are still in the closet come out to their families.
Mackus 19th Feb 2013, 6:56 AM edit delete reply
I though it was obvious you dont get engaged with someone unless you're sure that person wont abuse you. You might've been mistaken, but thats no excuse to not try to be sure, thats why she should come out earlier. Does Aiken has reason to hate all trans people? No, especially not Rain, since she's his sibling, not his love interest, so he at very least shouldn't care, if he's not ready to be actually supportive. Is it reasonable to expect him to hold a grudge? I think yes. Does he have a right to choose whom to be in relationship with, and not sacrifice his happiness in order to do "the right thing"? Yes.
Think about it from this perspective: Does he have an issue with transpeople (truth or false, regardless of him being right) - the answer is yes. Thats enough is reason to break up with his fiancee, or at least seriously reconsider their future, unless you actually WANT to put her in abusive relationship.
Rory 20th Feb 2013, 8:10 AM edit delete reply
"you dont get engaged with someone unless you're sure that person wont abuse you"

I can't express how messed up this point of view is. There's no way to be sure. I mean obviously you try to find a good one, but people don't wear signs saying "I'm an abuser/transphobe/jerk, please date me".
dumok 19th Feb 2013, 10:34 AM edit delete reply
This is where we are going to have to disagree, Why should Aiken have been supportive of a person who lied to him? (I am talking about his ex-fiance) Who was going to continue to lie to him if the operation would have gone through? Having been married for over 17 years, I can tell you that marriage involves a lot. It is hard enough as it is without your partner lying to you about something so serious as going through a Sex-change. While I empathize with how difficult it is to come out (personal experience), your partner coming out after lying to you is a very difficult thing to get over. It's hard enough for a man to get to the point where he will commit himself to one partner. to find out that his partner is not only trans, but also a liar is an extremely good reason to have nothing to do with her. What else would she lie about?

As far as Rain is concerned, Aiken is severely damaged right now, and to find out that one of the few people who you thought was "Normal" is now the same as the person who just burned you...I can understand why he is angry. Sorry, but people should be allowed to feel their emotions. They just dont have to act like jerks about it.
Aimy 20th Feb 2013, 6:04 PM edit delete reply
"What else would she lie about?"
This reasoning right here is why so many trans*people get fired from their jobs. People in our lives, whether they be employers or romantic interests don't have a right to demand that we reveal our status as Trans*folk on their timeline. Unless you ask, if we don't tell you, we aren't lying just like every cis person isn't lying by not making sure you know that. If you assume that everyone you meet is cis, it's your own fault if you get surprised. Trans*people exist, and our existence is just as legitimate and "normal" as cis-people.
And Aiken should be supportive of his fiance, because if he can't stand to support someone who lies to him about anything, ever, then he's never going to find someone. people lie to protect themselves. How about how he was lying to Rain and Fara about his fiance? if his lie is understandable, then his fiance's is too.
dumok 20th Feb 2013, 11:48 PM edit delete reply
Like I said, Marriage is hard enough without there being unnecessary deception. Speaking as a married man, trust is extremely important in a marriage and Sorry but knowing your partner's medical history is important. What if the SRS went horribly wrong? Aiken had every right to know about his partner's transition and she took that away from him. This is something that I keep feeling that trans folks don't get. As a Heterosexual man, If I am getting married to someone who is trans, I want to decide for myself if that is something I am mature enough to deal with. What makes this deception inexcusable in this case is that it takes away the partner's ability to choose his own sexual identity I want to decide for myself If I want to accept my partner, warts and all. I understand that a lot of trans folks want to be accepted for who they are, that's GREAT! and in an Ideal world, it wouldn't matter. However, lying to someone about being trans gendered, to someone who wants to make a long term commitment to you is taking away that person's right to make an informed decision. If they don't accept you, then fine, that's their loss but at least be adult enough to let them make that choice knowing the truth.
Aimy 23rd Feb 2013, 2:45 AM edit delete reply
OK. One thing you do not seem to comprehend is that a man involved with a trans* woman is straight. There are not caveats or qualifications added to that. To deny that is to deny the trans*person's identity, which I find VERY offensive coming from someone who seems to at least think of themself as some sort of ally of the trans* community.
The other thing that you seem incapable of understanding is that when trans*folk come out, all we risk is rejection, which is nearly infuriating. When we come out, we risk more than rejection. Trans*women have been beaten, abused, and even murdered just for coming out. So forgive me if I don't think your cries about how hard it might be for a straight person to deal with very seriously. I came from a very stable family, and since coming out, I have tread every interaction with my parents under constant terror that this might be the time that they realize that it's just too much for them. I'm sorry, but I think our rights to life and liberty are a little more important than your right to making an informed decision.
dumok 23rd Feb 2013, 8:03 AM edit delete reply
So in other words, You don't trust your partners to be able to decide from themselves?
Look, I understand the risks in coming out, having someone in my own family doing so recently. but the problem here is that having a partner lie to you is not a way to build up trust. What you are doing is denying that person the right to his own sexual orientation. which (IMO) is extremely counter productive to getting accepted. It would be one thing if it was a "hit it and quit it" situation, but in marriage, knowing your partner's medical history is important just in case something goes really wrong. I would be furious to find out if my partner lied to me about something as important as a sex-change. Not because that person was "Born a man" but rather they lied to me about an important medical condition and that is what happened here. Dishonesty in something so big is a deal breaker for a REASON.
Aimy 23rd Feb 2013, 4:28 PM edit delete reply
I'm saying that the cis person doesn't have nearly as much at stake as the trans* person. If you were actually capable of looking at it objectively, you'd see that. If the trans*person doesn't come out, the cis-person looses their right to an informed decision. If the trans*person does come out, what they are risking is of a whole lot more value. What you are demanding when you say that all trans*folk must come out to their partners is that they must potentially risk their lives in order to satisfy their cis partners' supposed right to knowledge about their past. I'm not saying that I don't trust my partners, I'm saying it's up to me, and only me to decide when I am ready to trust them with that kind of information. Your constant insistence to the contrary reeks of your unexamined cis privilege.
And you really need to cut the garbage about the right to their own sexual orientation. A Cis person who is involved with a trans*person is straight, completely straight, nothing but straight.
dumok 23rd Feb 2013, 5:10 PM edit delete reply
This is not about Cis Privilidge, And I disagree, Dating a trans person doesn't make you straight. If you would rather lie to your partners, and deny them the right to make informed choices, then you cannot blame them if they later find the truth and decide to leave you. The fact is that if you want to be in a serious committed relationship you cannot lie to your partner. Respect and Trust are things to be earned, and if you cannot trust your partner, then you have no business being with them. It's about Honesty, Not privilege. No one owes you respect or acceptance, but especially if you are someone who lies.
Aimy 23rd Feb 2013, 7:17 PM edit delete reply
All I have to say is that your disregard for Trans*people's identities as well as their safety is nothing short of disgusting.
dumok 25th Feb 2013, 9:00 AM edit delete reply
Well Sorry you're offended, but you can't lie to people and expect them to Not get angry about it. In most relationships lies are a deal breaker.
Zi 19th Aug 2015, 10:12 AM edit delete reply
I just read this two year old debate, and I'd like to offer my thoughts. I will do my level best to be as calm and understanding of both sides as possible.

I'm trans, and the issue of "when to tell" had been a tricky one. I'm happy to say, I was able to tell my girlfriend the first time we met, and she accepted me for who I am. Being straightforward is a good way to feel fully accepted and not worry about your past, or a large part of your identity, is a secret wedge. I was able to feel fully accepted very quickly.

That said, our first talk was over Skype from miles and miles away, and I knew enough of her character to know she wouldn't do anything bad if I told her. I have also had face to face dates where I did not tell the other person, because I was still feeling them out. I had to find out if they were trustworthy before I trusted them with knowing. Unfortunately, many drinks on a second date led to one girl's fingers finding out before I had told her, and while she was okay with it, it really put me in a bad state, and I couldn't enjoy the rest of our intimacy. We never had a third date.

I believe there is no "right answer" to this problem. I think cis people should be aware of how scary it is to tell someone about that part of your life, and should understand they are not entitled to be told. It's not about "medical history," and to be upset about not sharing a medical condition seems a bit odd to me as well, as long as the condition doesn't impact the other person. I don't care if a partner never tells me they had their tonsils, appendix, or even gallbladder removed. And that is more what this discussion seems to be like. "She lied about a pending tonsillectomy! What if it had gone wrong? Of COURSE she should have told Aiken! She is clearly in the wrong for lying to him and taking away his ability to make an informed choice."

I will agree in saying that being open usually helps, and is the only way to create a truly strong bond and connection, and to feel wholly loved. But, it is ABSOLUTELY their call to make, and demanding they be open, and putting them at fault for the adverse reaction of their partner, seems to wander into victim blaming territory.

I hope that helps someone out there.
dumok 19th Aug 2015, 9:19 PM edit delete reply
I am by no means saying that Disclosure is Mandatory if you are just starting out or even if it's just a one-two time sexual encounter. My point was that if the relationship is getting serious, There should be a serious discussion long before we get to the engagement stage. especially if there are going to be medical issues involved. This is coming from a person in an almost 20 year long committed relationship.
Samantha 31st May 2016, 2:39 AM edit delete reply
Unfortunately, Aimy, only transgender people see a relationship with a transgender woman and a cisgender male a straight one.
It's tricky when you get to plumbing, and typically transgender women have poor luck finding partners not only from cisgender straight men, but also cisgender gay men, lesbians, and straight women.
MarianLH 18th Feb 2013, 8:18 AM edit delete reply
Congratulations, Jocelyn! Good luck!

Also, wow, wham episode. Go Fara!
dumok 18th Feb 2013, 8:25 AM edit delete reply
Oh and congratulations!
Micheal 18th Feb 2013, 7:23 PM edit delete reply
This page was worth the wait. Every aspect of it I like except for the bad drama in the family. That part makes me a little sad. But overall, well worth the wait.
Kitsune kun 18th Feb 2013, 10:08 PM edit delete reply

That's wonderful!!! ^w^ I wish you the best of luck with the rest of your life.
Samantha 31st May 2016, 2:35 AM edit delete reply
Is it wrong that I sincerely want him to make up with Jessica?
Akane 16th Jun 2016, 7:42 PM edit delete reply
...And Aiken has nothing to say. Proves enough that Fara has undeniably got the truth.
Outright yelling into a transgendered person's face that they ARE one with their assigned gender just because someone is a rotten enough to fail caring any beyond genitals...he got what he deserved.
(And I'm still friends with someone who did just that to me ~~)
Lex-Kat 18th Nov 2016, 12:53 AM edit delete reply
I will stay clear away from the ancient argument between dumok and the smart posters. :E

I very much enjoyed seeing her smack the frown off his twerpy bum and then to tell him exactly who he's become, his father.

Oh, and dumok, stop calling it a lie. It's not a lie. It's fear. It's hiding. It's uncertainty. But it's not a lie. And I hate when people call it that.
AlpineBob 27th Aug 2018, 3:50 AM edit delete reply
As far as the comic, it is good they had this discussion so Aiken can consider his actions in this new light. (I would have just told him to get out, but Fara is smarter than I am.)

The long argument in the comments is kinda sad - a lot of cis males have unconscious priviledge and prejudice (I'm one myself). And that is the hardest kind to acknowledge. I can totally understand Aiken. Not condone, but understand. Dumok just seems oblivious to the point...
Selix 9th May 2022, 12:56 PM edit delete reply
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