Comic 1494 - Everyday

8th Apr 2022, 7:40 AM in Ch. 44 - And When the Rain Clears...
Everyday
Average Rating: 5 (15 votes)
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Author Notes:

Jocelyn 8th Apr 2022, 7:40 AM edit delete
Jocelyn
"But how am I supposed to explain trans people to my children!?"

Uh, very easily, actually. XD

Look, I'm not gonna claim that Rain's explanation is guaranteed to work for every kid. But generally, I think kids are pretty open to a lot. Rain's line was inspired by - and very similar to - what a trans friend said to their kid many years ago, to great success. I've since used it myself on two separate occasions with other friends' kids (also, both times went swimmingly).

It doesn't need to be about sex. It doesn't need to be about private parts. It's just who we are, and how we feel; focus on that. :)


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Comments:

CustardPuff 8th Apr 2022, 7:51 AM edit delete reply
awwww, thats just adorable
A-Trans-Autumn 8th Apr 2022, 8:08 AM edit delete reply
Wow. Kids really are the most open-minded of us all. Actually kinda sad but lovely page
Tani 8th Apr 2022, 8:19 AM edit delete reply
You know you raised the kid right when a five year old has more sense to not out someone than most adults.
Tokuben 8th Apr 2022, 8:23 AM edit delete reply
I thought Fara and Vincent were going to be Grandma and Grampa.
Tesset 8th Apr 2022, 8:59 AM edit delete reply
I'm a little disappointed we didn't get a "Grunkle Vincent" and "Graunt Fara" tbh lol
Phrown 8th Apr 2022, 12:20 PM edit delete reply
You’re totally right. Fara is Rain’s mom and Vincent is her husband. They’re helping raise Rain’s daughter so they are grandparents.
Jocelyn 8th Apr 2022, 12:27 PM edit delete reply
Jocelyn
If Fara and Vincent want to be Auntie and Uncle, they get to be Auntie and Uncle. They were in the their mid thirties when Lydia was born, and as someone technically older than them pre-timeskip, I can tell you I would not like to be called grandma either. ^^;
Tesset 8th Apr 2022, 6:43 PM edit delete reply
Huh, this made me look up relative ages, and Lorcan was a lot older than Fara. It's unclear whether the character sheet is listing Lorcan's age at time of death or how old he'd be if he were still alive, but regardless, he was 10-15 years older than Fara. I'm surprised those two were as close as they were, my brother is a decade older and I was basically an only child as a result.
Tokuben 9th Apr 2022, 12:13 AM edit delete reply
Come on, what's not fun about being a young grandma?
Jocelyn 9th Apr 2022, 4:26 PM edit delete reply
Jocelyn
@Tokuben

A title associated with being much older when someone is already sensitive about their age. :/
naobilynn 9th Apr 2022, 9:33 PM edit delete reply
This happened when my grandpa remarried. He married a woman in her 40s who had a daughter that was 14 and I was 3. It freaked her out when we called her grandma. So we either just used her name or called her aunt. No one wants to be called grandma in their low 40s, generally speaking.
someone_else 11th Apr 2022, 8:52 AM edit delete reply
someone_else
Each their own – some like the title. E.g. I had a housemate who got her daughter very young (~18, I think), and that got pregnant at 13 (the father was 15). So, my housemate mostly raised her daughter and granddaughter together as a single mother and while that was hard, she loved being granny.
Tokuben 8th Apr 2022, 8:24 AM edit delete reply
She's so cute!
00Stevo 8th Apr 2022, 8:36 AM edit delete reply
00Stevo
I don't think I will be able to take all this sweetness, it is just to cute.
WillowD 8th Apr 2022, 9:06 AM edit delete reply
WillowD
I can take the sweetness. I want more sweetness. Jocelyne as absolutely awesome for providing this sweet story for us.
j-eagle12212012 8th Apr 2022, 8:46 AM edit delete reply
j-eagle12212012
It's really that simple
I'm so glad to see it worded like that
Kids don't need complex explanations, keep it simple and easy to understand
Rue_ 8th Apr 2022, 8:54 AM edit delete reply
didn't expect Fara to still be auntie
Tanny 8th Apr 2022, 10:32 AM edit delete reply
I think she might have threatened life and limb if she was called "Grandma" 😂
ImGwendy 8th Apr 2022, 8:56 AM edit delete reply
I’m crying, I love how it’s so easy for kids to understand, and that when I have children knowing they’ll accept me 💜
Tesset 8th Apr 2022, 8:58 AM edit delete reply
Honestly, I'm kinda surprised Lydia needed an explanation of trans people at all, if Ky has been around throughout her life. Like, obviously she's had a lot of trans people around her, but Ky is the one whose transness is most visible to others, what with the changing presentations and pronouns. Lydia probably has interacted with them before, right, so I'm surprised she didn't start out with "My friend Tiffany is like Uncle Ky!" or w/e
Leona 9th Apr 2022, 11:18 AM edit delete reply
Leona
My guess is that Lydia understands that people can change their gender, but that the bigger point here is that she didn't know Rain was trans. And while she probably already wrapped her head around that people can change their gender, she might not have really understood why. So the explanation here serves for Rain to come out to her daughter, to explain why someone would want to, and less explicitly makes it clear that if she ever decides she wants to change her gender that she has a wonderful and supportive family of people who will support her no matter what
TK 9th Apr 2022, 5:22 PM edit delete reply
Well if Ky went off to college for say like 4 years, Lydia probably didnt see much of them. Besides, even if Lydia saw Ky when she was like 1 or 2 she may not remember.
Jayfur365 8th Apr 2022, 9:00 AM edit delete reply
Jayfur365
When your kid BOASTS about having a trans mum
Long-Time Lurker 8th Apr 2022, 9:25 AM edit delete reply
"But do you feel better now?" -melts- Kid has her priorities down right. :)
Alice_pbg 8th Apr 2022, 10:11 AM edit delete reply
It's that simple. kids don't need a lecture.
Chrissy 8th Apr 2022, 10:21 AM edit delete reply
Leaving us in suspense, here... Did Lydia just run off to talk to Collin's little princess shown on the last page?
Tokuben 8th Apr 2022, 12:21 PM edit delete reply
Let's hope so.
bgb16999 8th Apr 2022, 10:29 AM edit delete reply
bgb16999
This is one of the sweetest pages I have ever read.
miiohau 8th Apr 2022, 10:33 AM edit delete reply
Prediction: Lydia walks over to Tiffany and her dad Colin and talks about her trans mommy causing Colin to finally make the connection of where he heard the name Liriel before. Hopefully he remembers Fara's name because that will give a easy way to ask without outing Rain.
LadyAnastasia 8th Apr 2022, 10:57 AM edit delete reply
LadyAnastasia
Lydia is the cutest omg
Nellie 8th Apr 2022, 11:29 AM edit delete reply
Kids aren't nearly as dumb as a lot of people think.
When a friend of mine came out to her family about ten years ago, her parents didn't want her to tell her niece because "a 5-year-old can't understand this sort of thing". Then when her niece walked into the room her sister said "Guess what, kiddo? Your Uncle Kevin is your Aunt Katie from now on." She responded "Okay. I'm gonna go play ponies now."
On top of that, this child is the only person who has never once accidentally misgendered or deadnamed her.
Mturtle7 8th Apr 2022, 3:37 PM edit delete reply
The one thing that kids are pretty naturally and universally phenomenal at is learning! For better or for worse, whatever they're exposed to at a young age will get picked up extremely quickly, and stick around for a very long time. This is a pretty obvious fact if you think about it, but often gets missed by people who are convinced that stuff like conventional gender & sexuality is hardwired into our brains from birth.
Pseudonym 8th Apr 2022, 11:14 PM edit delete reply
Kids are geniuses! Extremely dumb geniuses, granted, yet if adults worked half as hard as little children to understand the things & people around them, the world'd be a better place.

Like, I was at a family event, lying on the grass next to a 3-year-old - and by the way 3-year-olds are much better at tackling than one might give them credit for - when he related to me, in great seriousness, how he'd figured out that wind comes from the swaying of trees.

It was amazing. Here he was, at an age where it's 50/50 if you're even out of diapers, and he'd made observations of his environment, collected data, identified commonalities and formed a theory. Thst the theory was utterly wrong doesn't take away from the fact that this kid worked his brain. When was the last time I made such an effort to understand something new to me? Not to mention that adults tend to have to be pushed into expanding our horizons, kids do it instinctively.

And this, by the by, is another reason why "You can't tell kids about LGBTQ, you'll confuse them!" is poppycock. Kids are perpetually confused. In fact it's absurd to think they could look at how grown-ups are running the world and not be deeply confused.
Juna 8th Apr 2022, 11:38 AM edit delete reply
I think this is how I’m going to explain this to my niece. I know it’s not the last time we see these characters and I can always reread but I really hope you do some short comedic stuff with them in the future. Like an anniversary or a Holiday Party episode. Im so glad you’re ending the story on a good note, though. Instead of letting it run forever with either no ending or one that feels subpar.
Lilly 10th Apr 2022, 5:54 PM edit delete reply
They spotted a correllation, they just got the causation the wrong way around.

It happens :D
Tokuben 8th Apr 2022, 12:25 PM edit delete reply
They are so cute.
I want a mini-series of them acting like a family. It would be so cute!
Skye 8th Apr 2022, 1:20 PM edit delete reply
I binged the entire series in less than 24 hours and it has honestly been a roller coaster of emotions. I'm so glad to be able to experience it and it has gotten me one step closer to discover who I am meant to be. Thank you Jocelyn <3
Absentia 8th Apr 2022, 2:06 PM edit delete reply
Lydia continues to be the best character.
izzie 8th Apr 2022, 2:17 PM edit delete reply
the innocence from lydia and rain's face in the first panel really make me wanna cry!!!
Jess 8th Apr 2022, 2:25 PM edit delete reply
Its not the kids that have a hard time with understanding trans ppl it's the pig headed adults who always make a big deal out of things that really have nothing to do with them
Amewyn 8th Apr 2022, 3:13 PM edit delete reply
<3 thank you for continuing to have such great and adorable content.
Casey K 8th Apr 2022, 4:00 PM edit delete reply
Casey K
Good explanation. I'm gonna use that too. 💙
ShoShone 8th Apr 2022, 9:05 PM edit delete reply
ShoShone
...

Oh.

Wait. ...

She has to run off and tell her new little friend

JUST RIGHT NOWW? It's time to go home now. Can't she wait until the next school day?

...


🤦🏻‍♀️ What am I thinking?? Lydia is a little kid! Of course it has to be RIGHT NOW.
Chrissy 9th Apr 2022, 4:52 PM edit delete reply
Of course right now. At Lydia's age, tomorrow is a long time away
ShoShone 8th Apr 2022, 10:41 PM edit delete reply
ShoShone
...

"I... used to think I had to be a boy too.
And it didn't feel good.
And it made me really sad."

Feels like shit is what it feels like. Fucking awful. Horrid!

WHY IS THIS HITTING ME SO FUCKING HARD TODAY???😭😭😭😭😭


Everybody I ever knew lied to me about who I was. They stuck me in with the boys. I never really liked any of them. I never identified with them. I never felt as they did. I always felt apart. (Hence, they never accepted me.) But I didn't see how it meant I was never a boy. It made me disassociate my sex from my identity without seeing I did it. Sex was biology. I was taught biology couldn't be altered. With the disassociation I didn't see the impact to my sense of self. Hell, I was a kid and nobody was explaining identity to me.

As I got older my notions became about doing the best I could with the cards I was dealt. Yeah, biology being the big card. I wasn't being me. I didn't know I had options. Once, I even told a stranger I felt like I was really a lesbian in disguise. Her remark basically was that then it was a good thing I had a male body to use for those purposes.

It went very badly for a long time. The pain eroded me. Made me even forget myself. I feel I've still parts missing. I could have died.

But I've been living ten years as myself. But I'm afraid I started too late. I get scared the pain will take away everything. But I'm hungry for the sweet life, baby, as a real fine girl like meeeee.

Well, at least my endo doubled my estradiol dosage just mid January. And I feel my bursts growing. I say "boobs" too often. Tired of it. Not sure I like "tits" either. Tits are a bird. These are my bursts. I like it!
Allison (not that one) 9th Apr 2022, 4:59 PM edit delete reply
That's an excellent description of how I felt, too.

I still don't understand why I never followed through with my many plans to kill myself, back when things were at their worst. But I transitioned 5 years ago, and my life now _almost_ makes up for the hell of my childhood and the hollowness of my adult life up until I transitioned. Unfortunately, transitioning doesn't make the damage go away, it just prevents new damage.
Lilly 10th Apr 2022, 6:01 PM edit delete reply
There needs to be a class that teaches this stuff. Best name I can come up for for it is "pre-civics".

Stuff like

"Look both ways before crossing the street"
"Being gay is normal"
"Trans people are a thing"
"Neurodivergence is a thing"
"How to choose good passwords"
"What not to tell strangers"
"Everyone on the internet is a stranger"
"How to recognise a scam"
"What the signs of abuse are"
"How sex/genitals/reproduction works"

Y'know, basic stuff that no-one teaches kids.
Phrown 10th Apr 2022, 10:00 AM edit delete reply
It’s a good thing you got to be yourself instead of having to survive as best you could.
ShoShone 11th Apr 2022, 12:59 AM edit delete reply
ShoShone
Hah.

I wasn't making it. I was deteriorating fast. I had forgotten myself. I was trying to hold on but failing. I would've died a decade ago, if God hadn't intervened and told me I was a woman.

Now I fear I didn't find out soon enough. That I've not done enough to secure my situation. As in not stable enough to make it.
ShoShone 8th Apr 2022, 10:46 PM edit delete reply
ShoShone
P.S.

@Jocelyn,

Thank you so much for the fine webcomic. You really do help.

(Please, tack this onto my prior comment.)
ShoShone 9th Apr 2022, 7:25 AM edit delete reply
ShoShone
I should be focused on the joy shared between Lydia and Liriel of a special achievement. A precious family moment.

But instead I feel ...

the pain

the dysphoria

the past injury

the hurt.😭😭😭
Phrown 10th Apr 2022, 9:59 AM edit delete reply
Scars hurt. Some/most never go away completely.
Fourth Nate 8th Apr 2022, 10:55 PM edit delete reply
So cute! ^-^
Dude Guy 8th Apr 2022, 11:16 PM edit delete reply
Awweeeee the almost instant concern about her mothers happiness is too adorable
iHateFridays 10th Apr 2022, 8:52 AM edit delete reply
Super cuteee
Pseudonym 11th Apr 2022, 1:59 AM edit delete reply
Seriously, what's so bad about telling kids about trans people? They'll be confused? Kids are confused by default - if you're learning, you'll be confused. They'll get the wrong idea? Half of everything in a little kid's head is completely bonkers. It's age-inappropriate? No. They can't understand something like that yet? Then they'll understand what they can and get a childish, inaccurate idea, again, they do that a lot, it doesn't make their heads explode. They'll think they can be a girl/boy? A friend of mine's grandmother told him when he was a kid that if he pees on a rainbow, he'll turn into a girl, and for years he'd rush out when it rained. He turned out al... well, no, not alright. But he turned out magnificent.

I suppose if you think having a dick is the be-all, end-all of it, you genuinely don't have the words to tell your kid it's not always so. Not without (what do your understanding is) lying to your kid.

In fairness to parents like that, I should add I might think the same if not for what I've happened to read and the people I've happened to run into. It's not a matter of intelligence, not compassion, certainly not strength of character. They do what they can with what they have.

Rgh, frustrating.
Gilly 11th Apr 2022, 3:43 AM edit delete reply
Child has been indoctrinated into fandom - that t shirt with a black blob and white blob, I am 80% on it being Kamimari (sp?). I gove 2 bunnies 20%.
Gilly 13th Apr 2022, 2:18 AM edit delete reply
I am an idiot. It is 100%a single bunny on the previous page.
Tepro 14th Apr 2022, 3:44 PM edit delete reply
This is super sweet!
WindandRain 17th Apr 2022, 4:10 AM edit delete reply
Oh my gosh my heart this is the most adorable family
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