Rain
Comic 1493 - Everyday
Author Notes:
Uh, very easily, actually. XD
Look, I'm not gonna claim that Rain's explanation is guaranteed to work for every kid. But generally, I think kids are pretty open to a lot. Rain's line was inspired by - and very similar to - what a trans friend said to their kid many years ago, to great success. I've since used it myself on two separate occasions with other friends' kids (also, both times went swimmingly).
It doesn't need to be about sex. It doesn't need to be about private parts. It's just who we are, and how we feel; focus on that. :)
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A title associated with being much older when someone is already sensitive about their age. :/
I'm so glad to see it worded like that
Kids don't need complex explanations, keep it simple and easy to understand
When a friend of mine came out to her family about ten years ago, her parents didn't want her to tell her niece because "a 5-year-old can't understand this sort of thing". Then when her niece walked into the room her sister said "Guess what, kiddo? Your Uncle Kevin is your Aunt Katie from now on." She responded "Okay. I'm gonna go play ponies now."
On top of that, this child is the only person who has never once accidentally misgendered or deadnamed her.
Like, I was at a family event, lying on the grass next to a 3-year-old - and by the way 3-year-olds are much better at tackling than one might give them credit for - when he related to me, in great seriousness, how he'd figured out that wind comes from the swaying of trees.
It was amazing. Here he was, at an age where it's 50/50 if you're even out of diapers, and he'd made observations of his environment, collected data, identified commonalities and formed a theory. Thst the theory was utterly wrong doesn't take away from the fact that this kid worked his brain. When was the last time I made such an effort to understand something new to me? Not to mention that adults tend to have to be pushed into expanding our horizons, kids do it instinctively.
And this, by the by, is another reason why "You can't tell kids about LGBTQ, you'll confuse them!" is poppycock. Kids are perpetually confused. In fact it's absurd to think they could look at how grown-ups are running the world and not be deeply confused.
It happens :D
I want a mini-series of them acting like a family. It would be so cute!
Oh.
Wait. ...
She has to run off and tell her new little friend
JUST RIGHT NOWW? It's time to go home now. Can't she wait until the next school day?
...
🤦🏻♀️ What am I thinking?? Lydia is a little kid! Of course it has to be RIGHT NOW.
"I... used to think I had to be a boy too.
And it didn't feel good.
And it made me really sad."
Feels like shit is what it feels like. Fucking awful. Horrid!
WHY IS THIS HITTING ME SO FUCKING HARD TODAY???😭😭😭😭😭
Everybody I ever knew lied to me about who I was. They stuck me in with the boys. I never really liked any of them. I never identified with them. I never felt as they did. I always felt apart. (Hence, they never accepted me.) But I didn't see how it meant I was never a boy. It made me disassociate my sex from my identity without seeing I did it. Sex was biology. I was taught biology couldn't be altered. With the disassociation I didn't see the impact to my sense of self. Hell, I was a kid and nobody was explaining identity to me.
As I got older my notions became about doing the best I could with the cards I was dealt. Yeah, biology being the big card. I wasn't being me. I didn't know I had options. Once, I even told a stranger I felt like I was really a lesbian in disguise. Her remark basically was that then it was a good thing I had a male body to use for those purposes.
It went very badly for a long time. The pain eroded me. Made me even forget myself. I feel I've still parts missing. I could have died.
But I've been living ten years as myself. But I'm afraid I started too late. I get scared the pain will take away everything. But I'm hungry for the sweet life, baby, as a real fine girl like meeeee.
Well, at least my endo doubled my estradiol dosage just mid January. And I feel my bursts growing. I say "boobs" too often. Tired of it. Not sure I like "tits" either. Tits are a bird. These are my bursts. I like it!
I still don't understand why I never followed through with my many plans to kill myself, back when things were at their worst. But I transitioned 5 years ago, and my life now _almost_ makes up for the hell of my childhood and the hollowness of my adult life up until I transitioned. Unfortunately, transitioning doesn't make the damage go away, it just prevents new damage.
Stuff like
"Look both ways before crossing the street"
"Being gay is normal"
"Trans people are a thing"
"Neurodivergence is a thing"
"How to choose good passwords"
"What not to tell strangers"
"Everyone on the internet is a stranger"
"How to recognise a scam"
"What the signs of abuse are"
"How sex/genitals/reproduction works"
Y'know, basic stuff that no-one teaches kids.
I wasn't making it. I was deteriorating fast. I had forgotten myself. I was trying to hold on but failing. I would've died a decade ago, if God hadn't intervened and told me I was a woman.
Now I fear I didn't find out soon enough. That I've not done enough to secure my situation. As in not stable enough to make it.
@Jocelyn,
Thank you so much for the fine webcomic. You really do help.
(Please, tack this onto my prior comment.)
But instead I feel ...
the pain
the dysphoria
the past injury
the hurt.😭😭😭
I suppose if you think having a dick is the be-all, end-all of it, you genuinely don't have the words to tell your kid it's not always so. Not without (what do your understanding is) lying to your kid.
In fairness to parents like that, I should add I might think the same if not for what I've happened to read and the people I've happened to run into. It's not a matter of intelligence, not compassion, certainly not strength of character. They do what they can with what they have.
Rgh, frustrating.