Everyday
8th Apr 2022, 7:40 AM in Ch. 44 - And When the Rain Clears...
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Average Rating: 5 (16 votes)
Author Notes:
Jocelyn
"But how am I supposed to explain trans people to my children!?"

Uh, very easily, actually. XD

Look, I'm not gonna claim that Rain's explanation is guaranteed to work for every kid. But generally, I think kids are pretty open to a lot. Rain's line was inspired by - and very similar to - what a trans friend said to their kid many years ago, to great success. I've since used it myself on two separate occasions with other friends' kids (also, both times went swimmingly).

It doesn't need to be about sex. It doesn't need to be about private parts. It's just who we are, and how we feel; focus on that. :)


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User comments:
CustardPuff (Guest)
awwww, thats just adorable
A-Trans-Autumn
Wow. Kids really are the most open-minded of us all. Actually kinda sad but lovely page
Tani (Guest)
You know you raised the kid right when a five year old has more sense to not out someone than most adults.
Tokuben (Guest)
I thought Fara and Vincent were going to be Grandma and Grampa.
Tesset (Guest)
I'm a little disappointed we didn't get a "Grunkle Vincent" and "Graunt Fara" tbh lol
Phrown (Guest)
You’re totally right. Fara is Rain’s mom and Vincent is her husband. They’re helping raise Rain’s daughter so they are grandparents.
Jocelyn
If Fara and Vincent want to be Auntie and Uncle, they get to be Auntie and Uncle. They were in the their mid thirties when Lydia was born, and as someone technically older than them pre-timeskip, I can tell you I would not like to be called grandma either. ^^;
Tesset (Guest)
Huh, this made me look up relative ages, and Lorcan was a lot older than Fara. It's unclear whether the character sheet is listing Lorcan's age at time of death or how old he'd be if he were still alive, but regardless, he was 10-15 years older than Fara. I'm surprised those two were as close as they were, my brother is a decade older and I was basically an only child as a result.
Tokuben (Guest)
Come on, what's not fun about being a young grandma?
Jocelyn
@Tokuben

A title associated with being much older when someone is already sensitive about their age. :/
naobilynn (Guest)
This happened when my grandpa remarried. He married a woman in her 40s who had a daughter that was 14 and I was 3. It freaked her out when we called her grandma. So we either just used her name or called her aunt. No one wants to be called grandma in their low 40s, generally speaking.
someone_else
Each their own – some like the title. E.g. I had a housemate who got her daughter very young (~18, I think), and that got pregnant at 13 (the father was 15). So, my housemate mostly raised her daughter and granddaughter together as a single mother and while that was hard, she loved being granny.
Tokuben (Guest)
She's so cute!
00Stevo
I don't think I will be able to take all this sweetness, it is just to cute.
WillowD
I can take the sweetness. I want more sweetness. Jocelyne as absolutely awesome for providing this sweet story for us.
j-eagle12212012
It's really that simple
I'm so glad to see it worded like that
Kids don't need complex explanations, keep it simple and easy to understand
Rue_
didn't expect Fara to still be auntie
Tanny (Guest)
I think she might have threatened life and limb if she was called "Grandma" 😂
ImGwendy (Guest)
I’m crying, I love how it’s so easy for kids to understand, and that when I have children knowing they’ll accept me 💜
Tesset (Guest)
Honestly, I'm kinda surprised Lydia needed an explanation of trans people at all, if Ky has been around throughout her life. Like, obviously she's had a lot of trans people around her, but Ky is the one whose transness is most visible to others, what with the changing presentations and pronouns. Lydia probably has interacted with them before, right, so I'm surprised she didn't start out with "My friend Tiffany is like Uncle Ky!" or w/e
Leona
My guess is that Lydia understands that people can change their gender, but that the bigger point here is that she didn't know Rain was trans. And while she probably already wrapped her head around that people can change their gender, she might not have really understood why. So the explanation here serves for Rain to come out to her daughter, to explain why someone would want to, and less explicitly makes it clear that if she ever decides she wants to change her gender that she has a wonderful and supportive family of people who will support her no matter what
TK (Guest)
Well if Ky went off to college for say like 4 years, Lydia probably didnt see much of them. Besides, even if Lydia saw Ky when she was like 1 or 2 she may not remember.
Jayfur365
When your kid BOASTS about having a trans mum
Long-Time Lurker (Guest)
"But do you feel better now?" -melts- Kid has her priorities down right. :)
Alice_pbg
It's that simple. kids don't need a lecture.
Chrissy (Guest)
Leaving us in suspense, here... Did Lydia just run off to talk to Collin's little princess shown on the last page?
Tokuben (Guest)
Let's hope so.
bgb16999
This is one of the sweetest pages I have ever read.
miiohau (Guest)
Prediction: Lydia walks over to Tiffany and her dad Colin and talks about her trans mommy causing Colin to finally make the connection of where he heard the name Liriel before. Hopefully he remembers Fara's name because that will give a easy way to ask without outing Rain.
LadyAnastasia
Lydia is the cutest omg
Nellie (Guest)
Kids aren't nearly as dumb as a lot of people think.
When a friend of mine came out to her family about ten years ago, her parents didn't want her to tell her niece because "a 5-year-old can't understand this sort of thing". Then when her niece walked into the room her sister said "Guess what, kiddo? Your Uncle Kevin is your Aunt Katie from now on." She responded "Okay. I'm gonna go play ponies now."
On top of that, this child is the only person who has never once accidentally misgendered or deadnamed her.
Mturtle7 (Guest)
The one thing that kids are pretty naturally and universally phenomenal at is learning! For better or for worse, whatever they're exposed to at a young age will get picked up extremely quickly, and stick around for a very long time. This is a pretty obvious fact if you think about it, but often gets missed by people who are convinced that stuff like conventional gender & sexuality is hardwired into our brains from birth.
Pseudonym (Guest)
Kids are geniuses! Extremely dumb geniuses, granted, yet if adults worked half as hard as little children to understand the things & people around them, the world'd be a better place.

Like, I was at a family event, lying on the grass next to a 3-year-old - and by the way 3-year-olds are much better at tackling than one might give them credit for - when he related to me, in great seriousness, how he'd figured out that wind comes from the swaying of trees.

It was amazing. Here he was, at an age where it's 50/50 if you're even out of diapers, and he'd made observations of his environment, collected data, identified commonalities and formed a theory. Thst the theory was utterly wrong doesn't take away from the fact that this kid worked his brain. When was the last time I made such an effort to understand something new to me? Not to mention that adults tend to have to be pushed into expanding our horizons, kids do it instinctively.

And this, by the by, is another reason why "You can't tell kids about LGBTQ, you'll confuse them!" is poppycock. Kids are perpetually confused. In fact it's absurd to think they could look at how grown-ups are running the world and not be deeply confused.
Juna (Guest)
I think this is how I’m going to explain this to my niece. I know it’s not the last time we see these characters and I can always reread but I really hope you do some short comedic stuff with them in the future. Like an anniversary or a Holiday Party episode. Im so glad you’re ending the story on a good note, though. Instead of letting it run forever with either no ending or one that feels subpar.
Lilly (Guest)
They spotted a correllation, they just got the causation the wrong way around.

It happens :D
Tokuben (Guest)
They are so cute.
I want a mini-series of them acting like a family. It would be so cute!
Skye (Guest)
I binged the entire series in less than 24 hours and it has honestly been a roller coaster of emotions. I'm so glad to be able to experience it and it has gotten me one step closer to discover who I am meant to be. Thank you Jocelyn <3
Absentia
Lydia continues to be the best character.
izzie (Guest)
the innocence from lydia and rain's face in the first panel really make me wanna cry!!!
Jess (Guest)
Its not the kids that have a hard time with understanding trans ppl it's the pig headed adults who always make a big deal out of things that really have nothing to do with them
Amewyn (Guest)
<3 thank you for continuing to have such great and adorable content.
Casey K
Good explanation. I'm gonna use that too. 💙
ShoShone
...

Oh.

Wait. ...

She has to run off and tell her new little friend

JUST RIGHT NOWW? It's time to go home now. Can't she wait until the next school day?

...


🤦🏻‍♀️ What am I thinking?? Lydia is a little kid! Of course it has to be RIGHT NOW.
Chrissy (Guest)
Of course right now. At Lydia's age, tomorrow is a long time away
ShoShone
...

"I... used to think I had to be a boy too.
And it didn't feel good.
And it made me really sad."

Feels like shit is what it feels like. Fucking awful. Horrid!

WHY IS THIS HITTING ME SO FUCKING HARD TODAY???😭😭😭😭😭


Everybody I ever knew lied to me about who I was. They stuck me in with the boys. I never really liked any of them. I never identified with them. I never felt as they did. I always felt apart. (Hence, they never accepted me.) But I didn't see how it meant I was never a boy. It made me disassociate my sex from my identity without seeing I did it. Sex was biology. I was taught biology couldn't be altered. With the disassociation I didn't see the impact to my sense of self. Hell, I was a kid and nobody was explaining identity to me.

As I got older my notions became about doing the best I could with the cards I was dealt. Yeah, biology being the big card. I wasn't being me. I didn't know I had options. Once, I even told a stranger I felt like I was really a lesbian in disguise. Her remark basically was that then it was a good thing I had a male body to use for those purposes.

It went very badly for a long time. The pain eroded me. Made me even forget myself. I feel I've still parts missing. I could have died.

But I've been living ten years as myself. But I'm afraid I started too late. I get scared the pain will take away everything. But I'm hungry for the sweet life, baby, as a real fine girl like meeeee.

Well, at least my endo doubled my estradiol dosage just mid January. And I feel my bursts growing. I say "boobs" too often. Tired of it. Not sure I like "tits" either. Tits are a bird. These are my bursts. I like it!
Allison (not that one) (Guest)
That's an excellent description of how I felt, too.

I still don't understand why I never followed through with my many plans to kill myself, back when things were at their worst. But I transitioned 5 years ago, and my life now _almost_ makes up for the hell of my childhood and the hollowness of my adult life up until I transitioned. Unfortunately, transitioning doesn't make the damage go away, it just prevents new damage.
Lilly (Guest)
There needs to be a class that teaches this stuff. Best name I can come up for for it is "pre-civics".

Stuff like

"Look both ways before crossing the street"
"Being gay is normal"
"Trans people are a thing"
"Neurodivergence is a thing"
"How to choose good passwords"
"What not to tell strangers"
"Everyone on the internet is a stranger"
"How to recognise a scam"
"What the signs of abuse are"
"How sex/genitals/reproduction works"

Y'know, basic stuff that no-one teaches kids.
JustRaining
Some lucky people call this parenting 🙈
Phrown (Guest)
It’s a good thing you got to be yourself instead of having to survive as best you could.
ShoShone
Hah.

I wasn't making it. I was deteriorating fast. I had forgotten myself. I was trying to hold on but failing. I would've died a decade ago, if God hadn't intervened and told me I was a woman.

Now I fear I didn't find out soon enough. That I've not done enough to secure my situation. As in not stable enough to make it.
ShoShone
P.S.

@Jocelyn,

Thank you so much for the fine webcomic. You really do help.

(Please, tack this onto my prior comment.)
ShoShone
I should be focused on the joy shared between Lydia and Liriel of a special achievement. A precious family moment.

But instead I feel ...

the pain

the dysphoria

the past injury

the hurt.😭😭😭
Phrown (Guest)
Scars hurt. Some/most never go away completely.
Fourth Nate (Guest)
So cute! ^-^
Dude Guy (Guest)
Awweeeee the almost instant concern about her mothers happiness is too adorable
iHateFridays
Super cuteee
Pseudonym (Guest)
Seriously, what's so bad about telling kids about trans people? They'll be confused? Kids are confused by default - if you're learning, you'll be confused. They'll get the wrong idea? Half of everything in a little kid's head is completely bonkers. It's age-inappropriate? No. They can't understand something like that yet? Then they'll understand what they can and get a childish, inaccurate idea, again, they do that a lot, it doesn't make their heads explode. They'll think they can be a girl/boy? A friend of mine's grandmother told him when he was a kid that if he pees on a rainbow, he'll turn into a girl, and for years he'd rush out when it rained. He turned out al... well, no, not alright. But he turned out magnificent.

I suppose if you think having a dick is the be-all, end-all of it, you genuinely don't have the words to tell your kid it's not always so. Not without (what do your understanding is) lying to your kid.

In fairness to parents like that, I should add I might think the same if not for what I've happened to read and the people I've happened to run into. It's not a matter of intelligence, not compassion, certainly not strength of character. They do what they can with what they have.

Rgh, frustrating.
Gilly (Guest)
Child has been indoctrinated into fandom - that t shirt with a black blob and white blob, I am 80% on it being Kamimari (sp?). I gove 2 bunnies 20%.
Gilly (Guest)
I am an idiot. It is 100%a single bunny on the previous page.
Tepro (Guest)
This is super sweet!
WindandRain
Oh my gosh my heart this is the most adorable family
Egg3770
That was so adorable!