27th Oct 2021, 10:20 AM
in Ch. 43 - Liriel's Daughter
Author Notes:
Jocelyn
27th Oct 2021, 10:20 AM
This time we're flashing back to that another traumatic memory Rain's recounted once before. We previously only saw this scene as a nightmare. And outside of the fact that she's told Emily about this, no one else has ever brought this up before. It was a scene between Rain and her father, Marcus, but we previously had no indication anyone knew about this. But it seems Liriel must have been made aware at some point too, and that she in turn, confided in Fara.
This perhaps raises more questions than it answers, but as with most pages so far in this chapter, this conversation ain't over.
©2004-2021
Rain, all characters and all other aspects of the story are copyright material belonging to me.
My next round of dental work is tomorrow, actually. I still have an appointment slated for November, but I have several extractions that need to happen sooner than later. I'm only able to do this thanks to your help, but I do have a ways to go, nonetheless. Thank you to anyone who's contributed thus, and please don't forget if you're able, you can still help here.
https://gofund.me/bc702c0d
This perhaps raises more questions than it answers, but as with most pages so far in this chapter, this conversation ain't over.
©2004-2021
Rain, all characters and all other aspects of the story are copyright material belonging to me.
My next round of dental work is tomorrow, actually. I still have an appointment slated for November, but I have several extractions that need to happen sooner than later. I'm only able to do this thanks to your help, but I do have a ways to go, nonetheless. Thank you to anyone who's contributed thus, and please don't forget if you're able, you can still help here.
https://gofund.me/bc702c0d
Jocelyn
27th Oct 2021, 8:14 PM
@everyone
Tomorrow morning, I'm getting three teeth pulled. I'm being knocked out because I'm far too much of a baby to be awake for it. I may be dopey for a bit as a result, but hopefully, I should be okay to post on Friday. Worst case scenario, I'll push it back to Monday and resume from there. Just want y'all to have this heads up.
I'll try to make sure you know as soon as possible what the situation is either way, though.
Either way, I'm anxious as hell, so wish me luck. :)
Tomorrow morning, I'm getting three teeth pulled. I'm being knocked out because I'm far too much of a baby to be awake for it. I may be dopey for a bit as a result, but hopefully, I should be okay to post on Friday. Worst case scenario, I'll push it back to Monday and resume from there. Just want y'all to have this heads up.
I'll try to make sure you know as soon as possible what the situation is either way, though.
Either way, I'm anxious as hell, so wish me luck. :)
Jocelyn
31st Oct 2021, 9:48 PM
@everyone
Okay, so when I said on Wednesday that there was a chance I might not be up for posting on Friday, I didn't actually expect that to happen! Especially after getting the extractions done on Thursday while I was still numb and high on anesthesia. The following few days since, though, have been... rough.
The good news is that I'm doing significantly better now than I was earlier in the weekend (or even earlier today). Yes, there's still pain, but it's managed now. I just dramatically overestimated how I expected to feel. Sorry for that.
Anyway, this means posting will resume tomorrow. Monday will see what was going to be Friday's page, Wednesday will be Monday's page, and so forth just pushing everything back a day. It shouldn't disrupt the flow of the story too much, so I'm not too worried about that.
That said, I still look forward to sharing with you what's to come, so I'm very sorry for this brief delay, and I hope you'll look forward to a new page in 12 or so hours. ^_^
(Maybe 13-14 hours if I sleep in, but it won't be long.) ;P
Okay, so when I said on Wednesday that there was a chance I might not be up for posting on Friday, I didn't actually expect that to happen! Especially after getting the extractions done on Thursday while I was still numb and high on anesthesia. The following few days since, though, have been... rough.
The good news is that I'm doing significantly better now than I was earlier in the weekend (or even earlier today). Yes, there's still pain, but it's managed now. I just dramatically overestimated how I expected to feel. Sorry for that.
Anyway, this means posting will resume tomorrow. Monday will see what was going to be Friday's page, Wednesday will be Monday's page, and so forth just pushing everything back a day. It shouldn't disrupt the flow of the story too much, so I'm not too worried about that.
That said, I still look forward to sharing with you what's to come, so I'm very sorry for this brief delay, and I hope you'll look forward to a new page in 12 or so hours. ^_^
(Maybe 13-14 hours if I sleep in, but it won't be long.) ;P
User comments:
At the same time, leaving some sort of supporting message for Rain would be risky - it could be possible that Rain would still be deep in the closet to the point of not even understanding she's trans herself, and her mother's letter would read as insulting. Or worse, if Marcus had for some reason come back to take custody of Rain, after Liriel died but before she turned eighteen, and he found that message... well, as things are, hopefully everything works out.
last page we recounted a tragic event that had a decent ending buried deep under layers of repressed memory. (though it's interesting that she hasn't yet confided that part to Fara.)
This time Fara brings up about a tragic event that was informed to her. judging by what happened with Rain's first memory, i'm thinking that this will actually have a decent ending as well. (and i really hope i'm right)
I hope that Rains mom left something that will make Rain feel valid
I find myself hoping that Rain's Mom left her a comforting message and a huge bagload of money, but I suspect that's too easy. Maybe she inherits a house where she and Emily can live. Or some beautiful heirloom jewelry of which Kellen will be insanely jealous. Or maybe just 1,200 jars of marinara sauce, because her Mom once came up short at an important dinner party and suffered traumatic humiliation.
I’ve been in the lava pit many times. I’ve even had times where I’ve given up and not wanted to try anymore. It sucks. It feels suffocating. The loneliness feels like a wet wool blanket you cannot get out from. Yet, I’m still here. In one of my darkest times, it allowed me to see things so clearly. I found the courage to be honest that I’m an ex-ex-lesbian and even met my fiancé.
Remember that this is only a chapter of your life. Know it’s okay to allow yourself to feel horrible, but put a timer on it. You can only lie down in the fetal position in the pit and dwell on how things suck between 5-6. Then as hard as it is, look up. See the vines hanging down. They may only be a few right now, but find them. They are people, books, apps, nature, music, anything and everything that gives you strength to keep looking up for a way to get out of the pit. There is no shame whatsoever in finding an amazing counselor (if the first one sucks, fire them and find a different one). If it feels impossible to look up, find a psychiatrist. No shame in admitting your body needs help to be able to look up. You’re in a freaking lava pit, get help wherever you can find it.
Never ever forget you are not alone. Right now sucks and it will not be like this forever. Hang in there!
You can also reach out on the Rain chat on Discord -heaps of lovely people on there <3 https://discord.com/channels/188689115842215936/188689115842215936
I have many mental health disorders and have worked very hard to get to the point where I can honestly say I'm happy but it would have never happened if I had not told a supportive, loving person that I was struggling and had them help me get help.
Unfortunately, doing it alone doesn't go so well, especially as a minor or a person with no money. I know now disappointing your parents seems worse than suffering in silence but looking back you'll see that asking for and receiving help is the best decision you can make.
People say strength is a person who shows no weakness but that's completely backwards, the hardest thing one can do is admit that they're struggling and that's true strength.
A person who sees their life fall apart around them and realizes that there's too much to pick up on their own and asks for help is a person who will be able to tackle all of what life is.
You don’t necessarily HAVE to talk to them or your family about it, but a good first step would be getting back in communication with them.
Once again, I’m saying that I’m not an expert, but I do want to help in any way possible and I don’t know if it’ll works for you like it does for me but just in case I’m saying all this.^^
<3