Today's page has so much important dialogue, I'm surprised I didn't have to resort to a two-pager. XD
Anyway, Rain and Ana return to the dance floor after a few minutes, and happen upon Drew soon after. Cue first important point: Drew is basically being left alone. What Ky did has had very little effect on Drew. As Ky said, this has never been about him, and this is the first time Drew's really seeing that firsthand. It's not to say that nobody can/will ever give Drew a hard time about this, but it's not what most people are going to focus on. Go back a few pages, and you can see people are generally more concerned with the people who actually swapped outfits; not the person who brought one of them. The outfit swap has affected Drew very little - if at all - in the social sense thus far.
And in all the time Drew's had not being harassed by his classmates, he starts getting a bit introspective, and thinks about where this all started. He explains this to Rain and Ana (getting corrected for his missteps along the way), only to finally admit he's got a lot to learn. And that's okay! I can't stress enough that it's okay to not know things, but you must keep an open mind and actively try to learn! With that said, although it can take time to adapt to these things, if you're still messing up weeks/months/years later (and are instead still getting defensive or making excuses), then you probably haven't been trying that hard. Period.
Truth bomb. Sorry, not sorry.
Now, Drew hasn't finished his point yet, but we'll hear more on that next week. In the meantime, please feel free to share your thoughts thus far.
Of course people are always going to be more interested in the people who are actually doing the "abnormal" thing rather than the people they associate with. However, I do have to wonder why no one has questioned Drew considering that he's Ky's date and actually has a relationship with them. Only because Emily was questioned about Rudy's appearance and they've never been more than friends.
I would not underestimate guilt by association and the harassment that comes with it. I've been there and it is scary and sucks.
The conversation with Randy (if he'd actually ever speak on camera!) would have been interesting. I do think this is an interesting conversation though.
I've encountered people who "forget" what name or pronoun someone is using after more than five years of interacting with them regularly. Barring things like dementia where someone really isn't aware at all, it shouldn't take that long to learn.
Some things can be hard for people. My ex wife is married to a trans woman, and even she messed up for a few weeks after her best friend from high school found out that she was also trans. I'm not so good with this stuff, but I took less time, because I never had anywhere near as many mental connections with the wrong information about her best friend from high school.
Further, while psychologists and such make firm distinctions between someone who is suffering from dementia and someone who isn't, they do that because insurance requires it. In reality, there's a lot of people who fit within a gray area, where they have some features of, but don't really meet all of the criteria.
That having been said, if somebody is always forgetting the name and pronouns of someone after a year of interacting with them regularly after that person came out as trans, and they don't even have features of dementia, MS, Alzheimer's, or any other such thing, I'd agree, that sounds like it shouldn't take that long to *start* to learn.
Under most circumstances, it is entirely possible to override the default and not doing so is rude, but circumstances can happen where it's not so easy. Like running on autopilot after pulling an all-nighter might lead to a slip, especially if the offender doesn't see the person the way they see themselves and is usually just being polite.
But yeah, if it's a regular occurrence, it's just plain disrespect.
It's nice to see Ana and Rain being patient with Drew and helping him understand Ky a little better and teaching him how to refer to them (and other non-Cis, non-hetero, etc. people) instead of being condescending or simply bashing him for being "stupid" when he's really just uneducated (see the first couple Facebook replies to today's strip as an example of what I mean).
Tolerance and education needs to work both ways - if we want and expect them to treat us as they do each other, we need to do the same with them.
I like how well Drew took those corrections. That's a nice change... I'm curious where he'll go from here, now that he's seen being out (at least to the student body) is't as awful as he thought it'd be.
At this time though, this is all there is. I don't plan on starting Magical (which will be a comic) in full force until sometime after Rain is done. However, when that is ready to start, I'll probably continue to use Comic Fury (and the other sites I currently use for Rain). I'll give it its own page, of course, but I'm happy with the system I've got here for now. Thank you for your interest! :)
This seems like an important moment from Drew. The fact the world didn't end seems to have gotten him re-evaluating his own fears, and then his own actions in relation to that.
The guy still has a long ways to go, though. But I do hope this is a positive that gets him going on a better trajectory.
Wow. it seems like Drew is actually trying to understand Ky. granted the girls are having to correct his pronouns constantly, but he isn't ignoring them or getting upset with them correcting him, nor they him (important distinction). maybe there is hope for him yet, out of all the characters he has been the hardest for me to read since the Halloween party. but, im also enjoying watching him grow and accept things he had never considered in the past.
But like Jocelyn says you have to try to learn, that is the important part. everyone could have beat drew over the head with 2x4's but he wouldn't have understood it until he wanted to truly understand it for a reason only he can produce. i think he is about to stumble onto that reason in the dark and not even realize it until after he makes the point of saying it out-loud while he explains himself. should be humorous and rewarding to watch his 'light bulb' moment. ^_^
Most Drews (people who present themselves as supportive and non-hateful of trans people, but still just don't quite get it) I meet seem, to me at least, resistant to education and would likely have thrown a tantrum at being corrected twice in a row. I'm glad that this comic is more optimistic than that!
However, I am worried about where Drew was going with that point about Ky being afab, If he were to finish that sentence with something along the lines of "so actually I was straight all along", it would indicate that Drew had so colossally missed the point that it wouldn't matter whether he said assigned or biological!
Saying "assigned" instead of "biological" is only meaningful if you *get it* that trans people actually are the gender we claim to be. Therefore, simply correcting people's language isn't always helpful. You have to address their assumptions and (mis)understanding about transness.
Finally caught up! A friend recommended this comic to me, saying I reminded him of Chanel (because I was the same age as her, and because I'm ace like her).
Rain has helped me come to terms about my own gender identity, and I'm now seriously considering to go to next year's prom in some sort of androgynous outfit.
(Also this page was posted on my birthday so that's very cool)
Why did they correct Drew when he said "biologically female"? If I remember correctly Ky is genderfluid so their gender changes, but when it comes to sex and the biological aspects those stay constant. Do they not?
I know this comment is old but I’ll answer best I can anyway:
Ana’s probably more sensitive to the correct terminology here because in her case she was assigned male as an intersex infant. If someone is using terms like “biological sex” they’re probably completely forgetting about intersex people — who are still usually assigned male or female at birth like anyone else regardless of their future gender identity.
Someone referring to “biological sex” probably doesn’t even realize they don’t really mean it; if Ky were on hormones, Drew probably still would have called them “biologically female” even tho he probably would also think of Heather as being “biologically female”
The conversation with Randy (if he'd actually ever speak on camera!) would have been interesting. I do think this is an interesting conversation though.
Further, while psychologists and such make firm distinctions between someone who is suffering from dementia and someone who isn't, they do that because insurance requires it. In reality, there's a lot of people who fit within a gray area, where they have some features of, but don't really meet all of the criteria.
That having been said, if somebody is always forgetting the name and pronouns of someone after a year of interacting with them regularly after that person came out as trans, and they don't even have features of dementia, MS, Alzheimer's, or any other such thing, I'd agree, that sounds like it shouldn't take that long to *start* to learn.
But yeah, if it's a regular occurrence, it's just plain disrespect.
Tolerance and education needs to work both ways - if we want and expect them to treat us as they do each other, we need to do the same with them.
If Drew keeps this path, we may see a much more enlightened person later on.
Didn't I answer this a week or so ago? ^^;
Well either way, for the time being you can find the character prologues (written in prose) on my DeviantArt here: https://www.deviantart.com/jocelynsamara/gallery/46861739/Magical
At this time though, this is all there is. I don't plan on starting Magical (which will be a comic) in full force until sometime after Rain is done. However, when that is ready to start, I'll probably continue to use Comic Fury (and the other sites I currently use for Rain). I'll give it its own page, of course, but I'm happy with the system I've got here for now. Thank you for your interest! :)
The guy still has a long ways to go, though. But I do hope this is a positive that gets him going on a better trajectory.
But like Jocelyn says you have to try to learn, that is the important part. everyone could have beat drew over the head with 2x4's but he wouldn't have understood it until he wanted to truly understand it for a reason only he can produce. i think he is about to stumble onto that reason in the dark and not even realize it until after he makes the point of saying it out-loud while he explains himself. should be humorous and rewarding to watch his 'light bulb' moment. ^_^
However, I am worried about where Drew was going with that point about Ky being afab, If he were to finish that sentence with something along the lines of "so actually I was straight all along", it would indicate that Drew had so colossally missed the point that it wouldn't matter whether he said assigned or biological!
Saying "assigned" instead of "biological" is only meaningful if you *get it* that trans people actually are the gender we claim to be. Therefore, simply correcting people's language isn't always helpful. You have to address their assumptions and (mis)understanding about transness.
Rain has helped me come to terms about my own gender identity, and I'm now seriously considering to go to next year's prom in some sort of androgynous outfit.
(Also this page was posted on my birthday so that's very cool)
Ana’s probably more sensitive to the correct terminology here because in her case she was assigned male as an intersex infant. If someone is using terms like “biological sex” they’re probably completely forgetting about intersex people — who are still usually assigned male or female at birth like anyone else regardless of their future gender identity.
Someone referring to “biological sex” probably doesn’t even realize they don’t really mean it; if Ky were on hormones, Drew probably still would have called them “biologically female” even tho he probably would also think of Heather as being “biologically female”