Comic 1163 - Very Real and Very Important

22nd May 2019, 11:36 AM in Ch. 37 - Prom Night
Very Real and Very Important
Average Rating: 4.75 (8 votes)
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Author Notes:

Jocelyn 22nd May 2019, 11:36 AM edit delete
This one's a bit wordy, even for a Rain two-pager. So I don't want to add too much more down here. I will just clarify that in the last panel we don't see Emily, but she's still present through this. She hasn't walked off; she's just standing a little behind the others so she isn't visible (it was just getting cluttered there). I know that's not a big thing, but I felt it was worth mentioning in case her absence was confusing.

Beyond that, if you have thoughts or questions, feel free to shout them out as always.

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Pseudonym 22nd May 2019, 11:54 AM edit delete reply
Hey, could you lot to please go to the previous page's comments and weigh in on noved7's, Guest's and my discussion?

Noved7's got questions to ask, and he should have someone who's not me answer them.
Pseudonym 22nd May 2019, 12:02 PM edit delete reply
*could I ask you lot to.

One day I'm going to post a comment that isn't spaced out. One day.
Mavis the Rain Beau 22nd May 2019, 12:16 PM edit delete reply
An interesting conversation, @Pseudonym, I'd love to help, although I'm afraid I'm not the best for relationship advice.
BeaMay 22nd May 2019, 12:23 PM edit delete reply
Ayyeeee. There 'ya go lassie. A bit long, but hopefully I helped <3
Someone 22nd May 2019, 4:48 PM edit delete reply
This discussion is neither novel nor all that interesting (it’s like terf talking point #3). If it’s really that important to you, feel free to put it on your tinder profile.

It’s really easy to have a definitive opinion on these issues in abstract hypotheticals; so feel free to share your personal experience with an actual human being. People are complicated, and that makes these questions murky.
Guest 22nd May 2019, 12:09 PM edit delete reply
...and that friend was me!
Mavis the Rain Beau 22nd May 2019, 12:13 PM edit delete reply
Gavin's expression in the last panel is like
"oh no she's crying what did I do this time?"
Guest 22nd May 2019, 12:23 PM edit delete reply
I think he heard what Ana said and is figuring stuff out
Mavis the Rain Beau 22nd May 2019, 2:48 PM edit delete reply
Thank You @guest
Anastasia 22nd May 2019, 12:29 PM edit delete reply
My mom converted to Catholicism after I came out as trans, and I ended up having to cut her out of my life due to the bigotry she started spouting.

I feel Ana here so much. I cry sometimes about how much I miss her, but talking to her only hurts me when I do.

(And yes I’m aware of me also being “Ana”. That’s honestly a coincidence.)
Kyle 22nd May 2019, 1:05 PM edit delete reply
I'm really proud of Anna on these two pages. For both standing up for Chi, someone she barely knows, and using her life story as a parable without revealing herself. I hope Gavin heard all this and it will leads to a moment between them.
Drake Zephyr 22nd May 2019, 1:14 PM edit delete reply
Drake Zephyr
You mean Ky?
Kyle 22nd May 2019, 7:30 PM edit delete reply
Forgive me on miss spelling their names. Wasn't intentional. I wrote that comment out on my speaker and the damn auto correct messed it up.
Anastasia 22nd May 2019, 1:16 PM edit delete reply
Ana, not Anna.
Guest 22nd May 2019, 1:27 PM edit delete reply
Where Drew is with respect tio everyone else is not obvious. Should we assume that everyone heard what Ana said to Drew?
Guest 24th May 2019, 12:41 PM edit delete reply
Yeah I think so. I hate criticising Jocelyn's art (love you Jocelyn and your webcomic Rain, so so much), but I feel like she could have drawn Rain+co in the background of some of these panels where Ana and Drew are talking. Also if she wanted to get across Emily's presence in the last panel, she could have drawn a sliver of blonde hair behind/above Chanel's head, in front of the back part of Gavin's hair.

But then again, maybe it would have been too busy, idk. It's not like I can draw anyway
Kyle 22nd May 2019, 1:37 PM edit delete reply
I'm proud of Anna for standing up for Kai. I'm also glad she revealed more about herself to us, the readers. I've wondered about her mother before, and I had a feeling this was the case with that. I feel sorry for her. I hope Drew will do the right thing sooner rather than later. I'm hoping Gavin overheard all that too. I hope things progress for them. Like everybody else, they deserve happiness. I know in my hearts that Gavin would accept Anna
bgb16999 22nd May 2019, 1:44 PM edit delete reply
This is the first time we've heard about Ana's mom directly in the comic, is it not? Jocelyn Samara gave us a hint about her in a Deviant Art comment (under this page; I can't figure out how to direct link to a specific comment on DA), but now we are hearing it straight from Ana.

Assuming everyone else was still in earshot for the whole thing, I suspect it won't be long before at least Gavin and probably Emily and Chanel figure out Ana is talking about herself.
Chrissy 22nd May 2019, 2:25 PM edit delete reply
I'm guessing Gavin's already figured it out and just isn't saying anything. The sudden unnecessary backpedaling a few pages ago is kinda a giveaway. And I'm pretty certain he knows about Rain's long-ish term desires, and, well how long was Ana off school right after Gavin met her? Combined with coming back, not fully healed, and needing to sit on a donut...
Kyle 22nd May 2019, 7:48 PM edit delete reply
Your right. If Gavin has figured it out, that great. But I don't think that the most important thing to him right now. Ana's having an emotional moment and his first priority should be comforting her, give her shoulder to cry on, and then when that's over with, he can finally tell her how he feels about it, about her.
AmbiguousMouse 22nd May 2019, 2:37 PM edit delete reply
Yeah, okay, so Gavin knows now. That... really, really sucks. If Ana's anything like me, that potential relationship is probably over now. Not because I think Gavin will mind - obviously - but because she doesn't want that to be part of what someone she's with sees her as. ESPECIALLY if Gavin's response is "oh, well, I wasn't before, but NOW I'm fantasizing about her," but really, just him knowing is potentially a death knell. Or it won't be and I'm just not gonna have my stealth representation anymore but I mean it's fine, Jocelyn has already made her stance against stealth in romantic relationships known way back during the revelation of the Aiken-Jessica conflict, so I shouldn't have expected it to last.
Jocelyn 22nd May 2019, 3:23 PM edit delete reply

That's kind of a harsh accusation over an assumption. I don't see anything on this page that confirms anyone knows anything. I see concerned friends after Ana tells a sad story and then walks away looking upset. They're at what's supposed to be a happy gathering after all, and probably weren't anticipating this much drama. :/
Xiane 22nd May 2019, 5:12 PM edit delete reply
No drama at a Prom?

Not a real prom then. ;)
AmbiguousMouse 23rd May 2019, 1:38 PM edit delete reply
I didn't mean to accuse you of anything, sorry. But there's also indications that Gavin was already starting to figure stuff out and he's very observant and Ana wasn't hiding remotely well that her "friend" was herself, never mind Gavin's big expression of realization in the last panel. And I remember back when we first found out about Jessica's transness, during Aiken's first appearance, your blurb made it very clear that you think it's bad for both parties if a trans person tries to remain stealth in a romantic relationship. So I feel like it was a well-founded assumption that Ana's heading towards being outed to Gavin. If it doesn't hold true, then I really am sorry for jumping the gun, and whether it's true or not I'm sorry for sounding accusatory, because I really didn't mean to.
Long-Time Lurker 22nd May 2019, 4:35 PM edit delete reply
I agree Ana will likely tell anyone she's involved with -- although it's not a given, since Jocelyn has shown herself plenty capable of writing viewpoints she doesn't hold herself -- and I get your reasoning of why someone would want to stay stealth even with your partner. (I personally wouldn't, but that's my *personal* stance.)

However, I also don't think you're giving Gavin enough credit. I think he's been interested in her a while (with no knowledge whatsoever) and him finding out she's trans/intersex won't change his reactions to her at all. He's grown a lot since the beginning of the story, and knowing and accepting Rain (and watching her go through recent events) has probably gone a loooong way to opening his mind to not thinking of transfolks any different than their cis counterparts. From what we've seen of them, I definitely don't see it as a death knell in their [potential] relationship the way it [likely] is for Ky/Drew.
AmbiguousMouse 23rd May 2019, 1:51 PM edit delete reply
I believe I gave Gavin exactly enough credit, since I said I don't think Gavin will mind. I know he'd have been perfectly fine dating pre-op Rain, so post-op Ana is obviously not going to be a source of contention. Gavin's behavior isn't the potential source of trouble here. It's that Ana is so committed to her stealth. Granted, I know this is some projection, but I'm very much avoiding committed relationships until after I've gotten surgery and moved because I know that my partner being aware of my trans status would be a festering wound in the heart of any relationship I tried to be in, no matter how accepting they are. And given that Ana and I have similar experiences with violence and dehumanization regarding our status, as well as similar stances on stealth in general (up to and including "once I'm post-op, I'll no longer consider myself part of the trans community"), I suspect she might feel similarly about the idea of spending all her time with someone who knows she used to be different.

I could be wrong on all counts - maybe Gavin hasn't figured anything out, or he has and they'll have a faux-emotional scene where Gavin is like "no biggie, I accept you" and she's like "oh whew that's great everything's fine then yaaay". I'm no psychic. I'm just saying what potential problems I could see popping up.
Long-Time Lurker 22nd May 2019, 4:23 PM edit delete reply
Awww, Ky and Ruby look so cute and excited together~

Drew looks like he's really considering everyone's comments, even if he's struggling to believe it isn't a choice.

And now I want to give Ana all the hugs. :'(
Jessica Bright 22nd May 2019, 6:14 PM edit delete reply
It's a good sign that he's finally using the right pronouns.
Jocelyn(not the author) 22nd May 2019, 6:25 PM edit delete reply
I totally feel Ky here. I had to cut my mom out of my life as part of my transition too and it's really hard. Sometimes I just really want my mom but I can't let her back in to my life right now. She's too toxic
Kyle 22nd May 2019, 7:51 PM edit delete reply
Am I the only one who can't wait to see other people's reactions to Ruby and Ky? To me, the whole thing will be a culture shock/giant middle finger to them.
Guest 22nd May 2019, 8:29 PM edit delete reply
Rudy/ruby is kind of the best
Kitty 22nd May 2019, 9:52 PM edit delete reply
Fox 23rd May 2019, 12:54 AM edit delete reply
I never understood how anyone could think a person's gender identity sexual orientation, etc. is a choice. I mean logically, who would choose to be different in a world that often treats different people as lesser beings? That train of thought seems to boil down to "I can't accept that my view of the world is flawed, so instead I'll assume I can dictate what someone else experiences." A few seconds of rational thinking and it being a "choice" is easily found to be so ludicrous as to be laughable, so why do so many people think this way?
Trilb 23rd May 2019, 6:08 AM edit delete reply
Finally caught up!
erin 23rd May 2019, 8:15 AM edit delete reply
anyone: *does anything*
drew: but what about ME????
Guest 23rd May 2019, 4:29 PM edit delete reply
Yeah, it's a somewhat frustrating but realistic character trait.

But at this point Drew has had it explained a shit ton of times by a ton of trans people dipping into and reliving their own trauma to try and help him understand, so really it's all on him.

He needs to ask himself if he wants to be a self-centered transphobic git or if he is willing to grow and learn in a way the society he has grown up in unfortunately hasn't expected him to do.
Drake Zephyr 23rd May 2019, 7:27 PM edit delete reply
Drake Zephyr
He didn't ask it like "What about me and my problems? Why is nobody focusing about me?" He just meant it as a "What should I do now?" type of question.
Drake Zephyr 23rd May 2019, 7:28 PM edit delete reply
Drake Zephyr
Which is not self-centered and a completely reasonable question.
drs 23rd May 2019, 2:18 PM edit delete reply
Is the old banner of flag-colored umbrellas still around somewhere? It was a cute and handy reference.
Guest 24th May 2019, 3:25 AM edit delete reply
Here you go:
Lana 24th May 2019, 2:44 PM edit delete reply
Funny, I ended things with my mom just a few days before this comic was posted. Parents can be just awful.
ValdVin 30th May 2019, 5:54 PM edit delete reply
"I have this friend".

Even couching it in that manner it's a strong person who can do that.
Waffle 28th Sep 2022, 12:41 PM edit delete reply
I wonder how much they each realized from that. Rain obviously knows more going in than the rest of them, but Gavin definitely looks like he's put a few pieces together.
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