As a Friend
20th May 2019, 9:03 AM in Ch. 37 - Prom Night
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As a Friend
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Average Rating: 4.82 (11 votes)
Author Notes:
Ky's second panel dialogue is referring to this, in case anyone's forgotten:

Other than that, I wanna hear what you think. (And let's be civil and respectful to each other, please.)

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User comments:
Drake Zephyr
Drew, you better say and do the right thing right now! For both your sake and Ky's. Don't let us down.
Kyle (Guest)
I'm happy Ky is ready to let go of Drew if it comes to it. The question will be if Drew can do the same. He looks so unsure in the last panel. I hope he makes the right choice.
I think Drew already has let go of Ky. The real question is, will Drew be able to let go of the image of Ky that he has in his head? As Ky said before, does Drew care about Ky, or just the idea of who he wants Ky to be?
It looks like I was wrong last Friday - Drew has a final shot at getting it right.

I will say this. Drew, you've tied yourself up in knots trying to "please" people. You avoid things you potentially like (maybe even love?) because you feel that if you please the people that are awful to you, they'll stop being awful to you. Speaking from a mountain of painful personal experience, it doesn't work like that. It *never* works like that. The only way you can please people that are awful to you is by suffering and being unhappy.

You're a teenager, I think. That means you lack a lot of experience, a lot of wisdom and you have almost no self-confidence. As such, you're going to fuck up an amazing number of times, hurt a lot of people and you're going to remember that shit for decades to come, maybe even the rest of your life.

The strongest way to counter that stuff is to build happy memories, times when you finally said no and chose to do what you want to do. Pleasing others is a fleeting moment but pleasing yourself in a positive, healthy way can make you strong for a long, long time.

I wrote this as a message to Drew but I think my much younger self could have benefited from this as well. Maybe in some other lifetime, young Doc made the right choices.
Sammi (Guest)
*also applauds, wiping away a tear*
Mavis the Rain Beau (Guest)
I think at this point in time there is about 0.001% chance of Ky and Drew ending up together. However, if Drew can get over his transphobia they would make a great PLATONIC friendship. Like the kind you invite to your wedding and they give embarrassing speeches about you.
Now that would be a happy ending I could enjoy!
Fox (Guest)
I agree with Ky 100% Drew needs to make a choice and stop trying to force Ky to change who they are for him.
Anastasia (Guest)
Damn. Ky is awesome.
Some Ed
Tualha (Guest)
Well said, all of it. Go Ky. I admire them for being so generous with him, especially given the way he’s acting.

BTW this is the same Tualha as always. I don’t bother logging in anymore because the dratted site makes it too much work, so no gravatar.
Mercy (Guest)
Honestly, at this point, I don't want them to get together. Drew falling back on "What about me?" speaks to a bad pattern. Run Ky, run!
Fox (Guest)
Agreed, they're just incompatible, like Ky said. Drew needs to figure himself out and Ky needs someone who will love and support them for all of who they are, no matter what gender that is at the time.
Fourth Nate (Guest)
Oh dear. If Ky needs to not hide themselves, and Drew needs to not be open, then they really are just incompatible. Obviously Drew is being a terrible friend here, and probably should have anticipated this and not gone to prom anyway, but he didn't and *still* isn't ready. And "change your needs right now or never talk to me again" is such a high schooler thing to say. Backed into a corner at prom :(
Disgruntled Catgirl (Guest)
Twitter's practice of censoring minority while endorsing Fascists must be stopped.
Queen Wolfen
Wow, she's handling this pretty well.
noved7 (Guest)
I really need to get this out and I feel like this is a good place to do it.
I'm a cis guy who isn't strictly straight. I'm gynesexual. I'm attracted to feminine individuals, including those who weren't designated female at birth. I would be happy to find a girlfriend even if she was trans. I mean I wouldn't get physically involved if she hadn't finished transition yet but I would be willing to wait for that and be happy to stick to the romantic side of the relationship for as long as necessary.
They could also be like Ky and be gender fluid, but as long as they're biologically female I'd be okay with them presenting as male when they're in that "mode".

So yeah I'm a cisgender male who is attracted to women, yet I still feel like I can't be open about my sexuality. Am I wrong to feel like that?

Sorry for the rambling. I just really needed to say this "out loud" as it were.
That's called being a transphobic straight dude
Pseudonym (Guest)
Guest, this is me with my privileges unchecked and hangin' out & all, but I really don't think not wanting to tap dat makes someone transphobic.
Pseudonym (Guest)
noved7 picked this place specifically for the heavy trans contingent, so I feel I should preface my comments by saying I'm, like, stupidly cis.

All the same, I feel that I like strawberry, some people like vanilla, some people like vaginas, and asking for exceptions in the name of tolerance seems counterproductive.
Imagine if we lived in a world where people's preferences were just randomly picked from the ether,
as trivial and as free of context+societal influence as Neapolitan ice cream.

Also: bIoLogICalLY FemAlE
Pseudonym (Guest)
You mean yours weren't? My libido informed me of mine once it had finished booting up, and I don't think it's much bothered by societal influence. It doesn't even get the newspaper.
not how brains work
BeaMay (Guest)
I don't think it's wrong. I mean, if you're against pre-op trans women because you see them as closer to men, that's wrong, but if you're against pre-op trans women because you just don't like penis, I see no issue.
On the side of not being able to be open about it, I hate to say it, but get used to it. In certain parts of the world, people aren't okay with these sorts of things being discussed openly, and while I like to think that's changing, I'm in Liberal Ontario and we just elected Douch Ford, Conservatives hold 7 provinces, and could get in federally. That's the threshold for constitutional amendments. So even in an arguably very liberal country, we're facing having our rights stripped away.
Things may change, they may not, but how open you can be about such things depends largely on the area you live, and the friends you keep.
As far as how odd your sexuality is, I'm a sort of lesbian trans women who's very similar, and still has issues getting more specific to most people 'round where I go to school/work. Mostly I just care about dating someone fem, don't care about parts, and honestly probably wouldn't even date a butch lesbian. So I don't see it as odd.
TLDR: Not odd, not weird, the world sucks about such things, good luck being open
Drake Zephyr
Hey man, I can relate. For a lot of my life I felt a similar way until I realized guys are kinda hot. But that's besides the point. And I don't think your transphobic and I hate that their are people who would say that. Don't stress out to much, their is nothing wrong with being cis and attracted to femininity. You still got a lot of time to work out your sexuality. I know it took me a while.
A different guest (Guest)
I don't like some of the wording noved used. But bssides that, I don't feel like I have enough information to judge him. Three short paragraphs that may or may not even be true aren't really enough to know the person (even though some college admissions officers seem to think otherwise) and he didn't say anything outragously bad. Maybe he has a deeply held belief that trans people are inferior to cis people and there is nothing anyone can do to convince him otherwise. Or maybe he just has some small misconceptions about trans people that could be resolved with a 10-minute in-person conversation.
Drake Zephyr
Guest, you can't just assume stuff like they think they are superior for being cis, that's not nice, and there is nothing to support that claim.
J (Guest)
As a trans person i personally wouldn't date any other trans person just because I can't support them through their transition due to the difficulties I've had in my own. It'd be bad to expect your girlfriend as a trans woman to get a surgery for your sake, but if she wanted the surgery anyways i wouldn't see a problem. That's just my opinion tho
Jocelyn(not the author) (Guest)
Ok so few things, first, don't use the term "biologically female/male" instead say something like afab or amab which mean aasigned female at birth or assigned male at birth. Second, strictly speaking having a preference for specific genetalia is pretty normal and not transphobic in its own right. Totally valid to not want to do the nasty if someone has a dick and you're not into that. As long as you still seen pre-op and even pre-hrt trans women as women, then there's no issues here. Nothing wrong with choosing to withhold a sexual relationship over genetalia, with some caveats.

1. You *and* your partner need to be ok with withholding sex until post-op
2. You need to never ever ever pressure your partner into having surgery or starting hrt or anything like that. It's not your body, it's not your life, it's not your choice to make.

As for your question about keeping your sexuality a secret it really just depends on where you are. A lot of people are going to have an issue with you dating trans women. Sadly that's just how the world is right now
Lol why would Ky even want to be friends with someone like Drew? He's not the worst person, but he's certainly not worth the effort either. Guess that attitude is why I have no friends.

Still, now the question becomes: who to ship Ky with? There's not enough bi/pan characters!
Drake Zephyr
I still ship em. You seem to have some vendetta against confused people who are still working stuff out? Why? Ky still sees the goodness in Drew. Why can't you just look for the goodness in other people instead of judging from the surface?
Because people like you incist on existing
Drake Zephyr
According to most of my friends, I'm a nice person. Not perfect, but I haven't really done anything bad recently. So I don't know why me existing is a bad thing?
Lets hope he just realized what he's been saying