Comic 1063 - That's Definitely Me

23rd May 2018, 11:24 AM in Ch. 35 - Weather the Storm
That's Definitely Me
Average Rating: 5 (11 votes)
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Author Notes:

Jocelyn 23rd May 2018, 11:24 AM edit delete
Some of you guessed where this was going. Some of you didn't. But here we are!

Thoughts are, as always, very welcome.

However, if you're the sort that can't deal with the "unrealistically high number of queer and trans characters in this story about queer and trans characters", and you were only going to comment to tell me how "absurd and unlikely" this all is: maybe don't? Besides that I've heard that song and dance following literally every time a character has come out, I don't believe for a second that there's anything unrealistic about this. So I would humbly ask that you spare me this once. Or at least find something else to say. It's not like you're going to convince me that this "isn't possible", nor am I gonna go back and retcon my characters and their arcs, no matter how often people whine about the overwhelming gayness of the comic. XD

As I say every time: if you don't like it, there are thousands of comics out there with completely cis het casts out there. So if that's more in line what you're looking for, take your pick. But it's a waste of your time and mine to complain about my comic for addressing the topics and themes that it revolves around. Especially after a thousand pages! Thank you very much. ^_^

Rain, all characters and all other aspects of the story are copyright material belonging to me.

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Fox 23rd May 2018, 11:59 AM edit delete reply
I figure this is where this was going. Also, poor Colette, that's a crap situation to be in for anyone, especially a minor who can't get away from their family. As an intersex man who is also trans, I feel for him.
BASHparallel 23rd May 2018, 12:04 PM edit delete reply
Yay for a long-awaited coming out! Poor guy, sucks that that was his first exposure to trans people. Great page, and I hope he can join the Rain squad :)
Kyle 23rd May 2018, 12:13 PM edit delete reply
I feel so sorry for Colette. She's so pretty now, and she'd be even more so if she could transition into a guy.

GODDAMN! Can't there be one parental pair in this comic that'd accept there child for who they are? Rain was right, its hard not to be a terrible parent.
Jocelyn 23rd May 2018, 12:15 PM edit delete reply

In fairness, Chanel's parents are pretty cool. And Ana's dad. But you're right, that ratio between good parents to bad parents is frustratingly wide.
Kyle 23rd May 2018, 12:20 PM edit delete reply

2. Your right. I forgot about Chanel's parents. I remembered Ana's dad, and yet there doesn't seem to be a mother in the picture. Why is that? I can take a guess...
Monarch Bee 23rd May 2018, 10:39 PM edit delete reply
Yeah, the good-bad parent gap is a problem. In my (very large) queer friend group, probably only one in ten folks actually have affirming parents.

There's also the neutral parents, too: Those who aren't actively supportive, but not outright hostile, just vaguely disapproving. That's like mine. The love me dearly, we're generally very close, and they'd never talk behind my back or talk down to me or harass me about it. They've been big supporters of mine whenever other people have. It's sort of a weird place to be in.
Marie 23rd May 2018, 1:01 PM edit delete reply
Fara is super awesome though.
trilb 23rd May 2019, 1:49 AM edit delete reply

Jessica Bright 23rd May 2018, 12:21 PM edit delete reply
yaaay representation for trans men! Actually the second I know of in comic though this one's at school so more likely to be around.

Of course telling a crossdresser wouldn't always be safe. She's lucky it's Rudy he's talking to.
Jessica Bright 23rd May 2018, 12:23 PM edit delete reply
Huh weird I thought I fixed that. should be 'he' there!!
Drake Zephyr 23rd May 2018, 12:32 PM edit delete reply
Drake Zephyr
Well good job for Colette or potentially Cole now. I dunno what his/her name will be, I'm just making the most probable guess I can. I got a friend who's FTM, his name's Kyle. Probably not the Kyle in this comment section though, as they seem like they're in Seattle, and my friend I think lives in the UK.
4C51 23rd May 2018, 1:03 PM edit delete reply
How Queer People Signal Eachother

For anyone needing an anecdote about having a group in school that is overwhelmingly queer. My high school had a likely higher than average number of queer kids. We all found eachother, most of us were friends or acquaintances (maybe around 20 of us? in a school of 180). Outside of school in other youth groups/activities I also managed to somehow have most of my friends be queer in some way.
doombird 23rd May 2018, 1:46 PM edit delete reply
Right? My pretty typical suburban high school with a graduating class of around 200-300 had 2 teens (and that's just that I knew of) who transitioned either during or not long after their time there, and just the drama/chorus groups I was part of had a dozen or so gay/pan kids, so I am sure there were more in other social circles that I was too awkward to make inroads into. Totally feasible. Totes feas.

There's definitely a correlation between people who say "this is unrealistic! There aren't that many queer people surely!!!" and people who just flat out refuse to SEE queerness unless it looks like it does in a TV show or their garbage imaginations, and then get upset about being 'forced' to have to see it when they DO see it. Ugh. Ugh! Cranky now.

Connie 23rd May 2018, 1:26 PM edit delete reply
It's honestly not so unrealistic. Queers are like magnets, we tend to draw to each other.
Gwen 23rd May 2018, 1:41 PM edit delete reply
I just did a quick count and before I left highschool, i had 7 or 8 friends, that have since come out as trans or GNC. Thats not even counting the gay/lez/bi/pan/ace friends I knew back then. So to me, this is totally plausible to happen.
Frankie 23rd May 2018, 2:06 PM edit delete reply
Drake Zephyr 24th May 2018, 2:28 PM edit delete reply
Drake Zephyr
Yes, I'm not the only one shipping that!
Gigglebox 23rd May 2018, 2:12 PM edit delete reply
YES! He's gonna have the best support group he could have imagined or ever hoped for. Curious if he's going to go with "Cole" or something else.

Really feel bad for those facing that kind of home and personal strife in the real word (I love you all, even if I don't know you. Everyone deserves love).

I have two kids of my own, and I know they will never face that kind of hate from a parent.
Lemonado Girl 23rd May 2018, 2:35 PM edit delete reply
Lemonado Girl
This is a lot like how Rain helped me out.

Hear about someone who’s trans and about their experiences and suddenly realize they’re a lot more relatable than they would be to most cis people, and badabing off comes the eggshell.

Also, in true EGS tradition, I assume there are many cookies being consumed today. My own stash included.
Mikasi 23rd May 2018, 11:52 PM edit delete reply
If only all issues could be solved with TF guns and random shrink soda shenanigans.

Also Hi fellow Goon/Bunny/Whatever you prefer to be referred to as a EGS reader.
Alkrya 23rd May 2018, 5:36 PM edit delete reply
I feel for Colette here. I was in a boat of the same making. I knew of my transness or the outline of it from a young age. My parents were both very conservative and would joke and sneer at trans individuals pushing me away from getting the help I needed. Society tells you that parents are supposed to be the individuals who look out for you more than anyone in the world. When they aren't there for you it feels like no one in the world is.
Sara 23rd May 2018, 6:45 PM edit delete reply
I'll admit, I laughed at the way that conversation went from (not really) being about rain to a character coming out as trans.
Sonze 23rd May 2018, 9:25 PM edit delete reply
this is cuute, yay chloe or whatever he chooses as a name ;u; also friend groups that include a queer person typically end up mostly w queer ppl since, yknow, gotta stick together
Catlife333 23rd May 2018, 9:35 PM edit delete reply
Pre-coming out, trans friend yay! I feel like learning about and exploring my trans identity has been a slow, several year process and the best experience Ive had in my life. Im so excited to follow colette and see how they grow ^_^
Cassie 23rd May 2018, 9:40 PM edit delete reply
Great comic, as always, Jocelyn! I did not expect Colette to be so upfront about it. Hopefully, we get to see Rain and Colette talking about being trans sometime during this chapter.
purplespacecats 23rd May 2018, 9:51 PM edit delete reply
people read this comic then complain about the number of queer characters?????? why are they even here in the first place??

anyways, this is both realistic and commonplace; i call it the Penguin Effect--queer kids find each other and huddle together like penguins
William 23rd May 2018, 9:54 PM edit delete reply
Note if there are 500 students at St Hallvard (about midrange for New York private Catholic schools), we would expect about 1 MTF trans student, 1 FTM trans student, 25 homosexual students, and 15 non-binary students. So criticism of the number of LGBTQ+ characters is not only silly, it is in fact incorrect. (Ana is a very slight outlier, assuming 500 students there is a 50/50 chance that a student at St Hallvard was born with ambiguous genitalia )
Drake Zephyr 24th May 2018, 7:17 PM edit delete reply
Drake Zephyr
Where did you get your stats from? Link?
William 25th May 2018, 8:30 PM edit delete reply
The rates I chose (.5% trans, 3% homosexual, 2% non binary, .1% ambiguous genitalia at birth) I got by looking at a bunch of sources. Estimates varied. I am not trying to get into the complicated and controversial question of exact rates. I just note that using commonly accepted rates there is nothing in the least unusual about "so many" LGBTQ+ characters in a school with 500 students. And, as many others have pointed out, there is nothing unusual about these students forming a social group.
Gwyneth 23rd May 2018, 10:14 PM edit delete reply
I sympathize a lot with the whole "I knew what it was, but didn't fully understand or believe it applied to me" thing. Like, I've known the concept since I was... 12? But I never really fully grasped what it meant. My first exposure to a transgender person was probably Caitlyn Jenner, which isn't a good model to start with, but then it's complicated by the fact that my dad rants about how "Bruce [sic] is just doing it for attention, that's all he's [sic] doing it for." This, and my dad's usually very liberal. My mum seems a lot more accepting of trans people, but still. So now with my half-cracked eggshell I'm sitting quite securely in the closet. It's cozy here...
Vulcan 24th May 2018, 12:35 AM edit delete reply
Not sure why people are complaining about the 'unrealistic' number of trans, gay, bi, or pan characters. In a Catholic school with hundreds of students, it would stand to reason these few people would band together against the IMMENSE pressure to conform that would be present.

It's estimated that 5% of the population is openly LGBTetc. It's a fair guess that at least that many remain 'in the closet'. Assuming a mid-size school of 500, that means you're actually well BELOW average...
FishEye18 24th May 2018, 2:45 AM edit delete reply
This is why I think SexEd could use a sub class just for trans people, explaining what it is, how it works, conversion therapy, psychological aspects, etc.; an informative class for those who are lost. Only problem is there is likely a fair number of transphobic people who would burn schools down over such things on the grounds of it being a "recruitment program".

Sadly this is yet another artifact of my desires to help people, and for me a grim reminder of my own depression...
Elliot 24th May 2018, 4:19 AM edit delete reply
I don’t think the number of LGBT+ characters is unrealistic, especially in such a homophobic and transphobic environment. We gravitate toward each other, even unconsciously. Most of the people I was friends with at fourteen came out as nonbinary before we graduated high school. There are only four who didn’t, and only one of them is straight. I’m a trans man, the only binary trans person in the group.
Nobody Special 24th May 2018, 6:16 AM edit delete reply
I had a feeling that was coming and I have to thoughts on the matter as a trans woman myself who longs to be beautiful It oddly made me sad to hear he wanted to be a guy he was a cute as a girl but speaking as trans it makes me happy he can strive to be the man his is inside I just hope his family will accept it sooner or later it will be neat to see some of the Ftm in this comic side I have a few Ftm friends irl that would be interested
bgb16999 24th May 2018, 9:48 AM edit delete reply
Now there's a small chance that Collette picks a name like Ryan or Aaron, and then he would really throw off Rain or Ana any time they hear his name....

Anyhow, I'm glad this conversation is happening!
Chrissy 25th May 2018, 10:08 AM edit delete reply
Given the other trans people in this story where we know the AAB names, I'm guessing he'll go with something starting with a C
Chrissy 11th Mar 2021, 9:40 PM edit delete reply
I'm re-reading some old pages, and it's strange how you called it there...
Guest 24th May 2018, 9:59 AM edit delete reply
statistically 1 in 10 people are queer. My class of 19 has 4 people who are bi (three girls and a guy) and a dude whos pan. Coincidentally, before I knew, I had had a crush on every one of them.
Kelibath 30th Jan 2020, 12:37 PM edit delete reply
I actually don't know if there's any specific sexual attraction to gender nonconformity but I was definitely most interested (aesthetically and platonically, anyway!) in the alternative kids at my school
zophah 24th May 2018, 12:30 PM edit delete reply
I didn't think there would reach this many, but I have no understanding of how many there are in real life (and too oblivious to find out) so I can't complain.
Nightsky 24th May 2018, 2:31 PM edit delete reply
In my friend group, I've had three people come out to me as trans. This was in a high school of less than 100 people total. So I don't think this is unrealistic at all.
Clarg Gent 24th May 2018, 5:25 PM edit delete reply
My high school had about 800 students total. The Gay-Straight Alliance had nearly 40 members, most of which were LGBT. It's most definitely not as uncommon as some people think.

Fun fact: according to a US Census report (I forget what year, I want to say 2014?), 3.4% of the US population identifies as LGBT. Those identifying specifically as transgender make up 0.3% of the population. That looks like a small number, but it's 3 out of 1000. With a total population of about 300 million, that means there are about 900,000 trans people in the US.
(Please go ahead and fact-check this if you want, I'd love to know the actual fully-accurate numbers.)
RubyRuthNeal 29th May 2018, 3:14 PM edit delete reply
You can find better, more current statistics figures and reports at the Williams ainstitute website (UCLA)
RubyRuthNeal 29th May 2018, 3:14 PM edit delete reply
You can find better, more current statistics figures and reports at the Williams ainstitute website (UCLA)
Alyssa 25th May 2018, 9:14 AM edit delete reply
I don't think the amount of LGBT characters is all unrealistic, especially given the environment. Maria and Rudy are in that school SPECIFICALLY because they're gay and their parents think the school can pray the gay away. It makes sense that there can be other parents who have suspicions about their children and have sent them there for the same reason.
And I don't think we know the amount of people at St. Halvard at all, so even still, the representation could very well be within the national average.
Kelibath 30th Jan 2020, 12:32 PM edit delete reply
Just wanted to say that you make a brilliant point and one I was constantly wanting to type up in response every time the ratio issue cropped up in comments. At least two of the main cast are in the school *because* they're not cishetallo; it's the sort of place queer kids are sent when their parents want to change them, horridly! And the aggregate percentage of *every* type of non-cishetallo person in the population is actually pretty high when taken altogether (even moreso if estimates are used, rather than records, because many people don't disclose).
Kelibath 30th Jan 2020, 12:34 PM edit delete reply
It's fascinating and somewhat subversive though to think that the proportion of queer students in anti-queer schools might actually be more concentrated than in the general population because parents self-select said institutions for their queer children. Obviously said institutions tend to be horrible to attend for those people, but also, any parents acting in this way are accidentally putting their kids in contact with the support and empathy and community they needed all along ^^'
Drake Zephyr 25th May 2018, 11:40 AM edit delete reply
Drake Zephyr
I don't think you can statistically calculate whether every school has LGBTQ+ people or not, or the number of them. It's really all about culture and society. I still wonder where people getting there 1 in 10 or 1 in 15 stats? Nobody is providing links or legit sources to back their statements. Yes, you could try to calculate a national average, but that could instantly be made incorrect, because a lot of LGBTQ+ people are in the closet, and some might change to straight, it can happen without forced therapy. Also, none of this is hate speech. So please, nobody get triggered. If you feel the need to argue against me, be civil about it.
E.Nonymous 25th May 2018, 6:36 PM edit delete reply
Not sure whether folks above got their numbers directly or indirectly from it, but this Gallup poll published January 2017 seems relevant:

They canvassed 1.6m people with random phone calls, 40% landline/60% cell (not sure what kinds of biases that introduces). They got 4.1% of the population identifying as LGBT, with higher rates in younger demographics and more recent years. Millennials (born 1980-1998) were up at 7.3%, and the Rain cast and timeframe would presumably push it higher?

That makes for a 35+ person LGBT population in a school of 500 as suggested above - it's in the vicinity.
William 26th May 2018, 10:03 AM edit delete reply
It seems you wish to look more deeply into the question of LGBTQ+ population density. If so your best choice is to start with Wikipedia and the references it gives. This will get you to the William Institute publications (based on Gallup polls). Use the citation indexes to find more recent stuff. Also check organisations (both pro and anti) and see what they have/reference. You will quickly learn that numbers are political. As you note, the hypothesis that the statistics in a school are the same as for the general population is completely unsubstantiated (indeed it is known that there is a strong dependency on age to self-identification as LGBTQ+). You can get reasonable figures in a few minutes of web searching, and be pretty confident after an an hour or two. However, to get into the problem deeply will require
months. But once you have read the intro to the Wikipedia article you can be confident that the number of LGBTQ+ students at St Halvard is reasonable (it is certainly reasonable to use Wikipedia for this purpose).
Drake Zephyr 26th May 2018, 9:00 PM edit delete reply
Drake Zephyr
Thank you, I will look into that more.
Samantha Jane 31st May 2018, 5:38 AM edit delete reply
You should address the “oddly high number of LGBT+ students” with Father Quenton wanting to test the school water supply for chemicals or some other narrow-minded but funny gag.
Kionneee 11th Jun 2018, 1:38 PM edit delete reply
Ok, this is ridiculous! The odds of THIS many non-binary and/or nonheterosexual people being enrolled in a conservative, aggressively religious school is so low that you may as well try to win the lottery with numbers from the back of a cereal box!

And I love it.
Kelibath 30th Jan 2020, 12:29 PM edit delete reply
There's a bunch of straight students in this school - we just aren't as frequently focused on them! And they have fewer reasons to want to stick together out of solidarity, or detect potential traits and signs of safety from others in the main cast (not making loud and obnoxious phobic jokes in the playground for example!) or, of course, feature heavily in a plot based around non-cishetero-conformity. ;)

But yes, I love it <3
Zoey 24th Aug 2018, 6:54 PM edit delete reply
I'll have you know this is completely unrealistic. If Rain were an actual webcomic, every single character would have come out as trans, gay, or GNC by now. (No, really. Trans people arent common, but in my experience we tend to group together.)
Kelibath 30th Jan 2020, 12:27 PM edit delete reply
I love the way this reveal is written. Colette is just so completely realistic in his emotion and frank approach to the situation he finds himself stuck in. It makes me want to desperately jump in and find him further allies and support so that he can talk through what he needs with people who aren't likely to try and repress instead of listen.
ann 29th Mar 2020, 4:21 PM edit delete reply
The number of queer characters is one of my favorite things in this comic
Absentia 4th Apr 2021, 6:30 PM edit delete reply
theory for the end of the comic: almost every student is going to be some sort of LGBT and stage a revolution against the Father, overthrowing him, making Brother Arthur the new one in charge with everyone allowed to be themselves as they please.
Waffle 20th Sep 2022, 12:17 PM edit delete reply
Oof. So many people need to invest in new parents.

Generally I'd think the next step would be some variant on "I know someone(s) in a similar boat, do you mind if I mention you to them?" But Rudy's social circle is not precisely large, that we see, and if Colette has started paying attention to him that comes dangerously close to specifically outing someone...
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