Comic 792 - Huge Mistake

9th Feb 2016, 9:03 PM in Ch. 28: Love, Trust, and Respect
Huge Mistake
Average Rating: 5 (6 votes)
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Author Notes:

Jocelyn 9th Feb 2016, 9:03 PM edit delete
Jocelyn
Poor Heather, literally stuck in the middle of the drama. XD

As for the drama itself... well, what do you make of it? I mean, WE know from reading the last few chapters that Aiken's done a lot of growing up since he walked out on Jessica. But she hasn't seen that. Even if Rain or Fara might've said off-camera that he's better now, that could still be hard to swallow when her last memory of him is so overwhelmingly bad. Even if she did have a firsthand account of his personal growth though, would she be so out of line if she were still hesitant to forgive him? Then again, all her hesitation aside, she IS still wearing his necklace and has mentioned on a few occasions (usually somewhat indirectly) that she misses him.

And what of Aiken? He's admitting his mistake. He's apologizing. He seems sincere. But is there more he could/should be doing?


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Comments:

Reimi 9th Feb 2016, 9:29 PM edit delete reply
Reimi
If there is to be any forgiveness in this situation, it will take time and a lot of effort from both of them. They have both done things that will be hard to forgive. Aiken is putting the first foot forward, and you know what they say about any journey, it begins with a single step.
QuincyBlue 9th Feb 2016, 10:02 PM edit delete reply
I feel more like it's all on Aiken here. Jessica is the victim in this situation and hasn't really done anything wrong that I remember, I think Aiken is really the only one who needs to apologize. Unless there's something big I'm forgetting?
Anyway, I think that no matter how sincere and apologetic Aiken is here, it's going to take a long long time for Jessica to forgive him.
Reimi 9th Feb 2016, 10:52 PM edit delete reply
Reimi
The complete omission from Jessica about her being Trans, through the dating stage, through the proposal and the planned omission past the wedding until insurance backed out and she was left with no other option but to tell him.

I understand why she didn't tell him, but dropping that so far into the relationship, a reaction like his isn't unexpected and it is hard to put all the blame on him for overreacting. That was a MAJOR bombshell to drop to someone you are getting married to soonish.

I understand my opinion here won't be popular, but every situation has two or more sides, and learning to see things from all angles is how we grow and respect others. Aiken is trying to understand Jessica's side of it, and is showing that he is willing to learn and grow as a person.
steveha 10th Feb 2016, 11:27 PM edit delete reply
I agree with your position. Jessica's secrecy about being trans backfired in a big way; Aiken wasn't at all educated about trans issues and he reacted very badly. Jessica planned that Aiken would never even know she was trans; that really is a huge thing to have hidden, and her choice to conceal that had consequences.

In short, Jessica is not blameless. Not to say I like how Aiken reacted to the news, but the problem was he saw the news as "you aren't even a woman!" Now he has changed his thinking and he accepts that "trans" is a thing. And now that he has gotten past his feeling of betrayal, he's remembering how he used to feel, and perhaps he still has those feelings.

In today's comic Aiken is IMHO doing as good a job as anyone could ask of extending an olive branch. He isn't asking her for an apology, or pressuring her to get back together, or anything. He has offered unconditional apologies.

I ship them so I hope she, in time, accepts his apologies. He was willing to marry her when he thought she was a cis woman who couldn't have kids; perhaps he will be willing to marry her as a trans woman.

She might be thinking "Does he expect that he can simply apologize and I'll just accept it instantly?" The two answers to that are (a) no, he's not expecting anything; and (b) did you expect that you could simply say "by the way, I never told you I was trans" and he would just accept it instantly? In other words I'm hoping that she will accept his apology after he accepted a far more shocking surprise.
j-eagle12212012 9th Feb 2016, 10:53 PM edit delete reply
j-eagle12212012
I think what you are forgetting is that Jessica was planning on never telling Aiken she was Transgender, she was gonna have the surgery and marry Akien and live happilly ever after... but her insurance fell through and the surgery had to be postponed so she had to tell Aiken the truth, that would be what she needs to apologize for her intent to lie
mecaterpillar 10th Feb 2016, 4:05 AM edit delete reply
So other people have mentioned the issue but here's a link to the comic explaining the situation: http://rain.thecomicseries.com/comics/299/. The way I see it, Jessica was insufficiently forthcoming with Aiken. The standard I would use is if your partner feels betrayed (and not because a misunderstanding), then you have made a mistake relationship-wise. Aiken and Jessica were about to get married soon, so they ought to more or less have known what would be considered a betrayal of trust when it comes to one another and not cross that line. Either that or break up. I don't view it as proper to continue a relationship while engaging in actions that your partner would view as a betrayal of trust. That's not a way to have a relationship and definitely not a marriage.
Lemonado Girl 9th Feb 2016, 9:48 PM edit delete reply
Lemonado Girl
Poor Heather, stuck in the middle. And Aiken, all out on a limb, too. I really hope this begins to at least mitigate the bad feelings between the two.
BillycannotFly 9th Feb 2016, 10:16 PM edit delete reply
BillycannotFly
I hope Jessica realized that Aiken was so easily able to say little sister. I know that they have a lot of stuff to work through, and I don't know/ don't care how they'll end up (meaning I don't mind whatever situation they end up in, as long as it's all good for them), but simply being able to say Rain is his sister so easily... I wish it were that easy for my sisters to say brother.
Azure_Jorie 11th Feb 2016, 9:57 PM edit delete reply
I thought the same thing. How easily he can say "little sister" after a relatively short time is a huge sign of progress. One of my sisters took months to refer to me correctly, and my mom still slips up after over a year and a half. Aiken's certainly screwed up, both with his reaction to Jessica's secret (though, as others have pointed out, she's not blameless either) and with Rain, but he's come a REALLY long way in a comparatively short time.
Guest 9th Feb 2016, 10:38 PM edit delete reply
According to the time stamp at the top of the page, and by my calculations, you posted this 3.5 hours from now.
In regards to what Aiken is doing here, he's definitely attempting to make strides in the right direction. I think the smartest thing he's doing here, even if unintentionally, is saying he doesn't know what he wants Jessica to say. When faced with the question, "what do you want me to say?" In any situation where an argument or fight has occurred, answering any actual phrase is bad. What you end up doing is telling them what you want to hear, so that in your mind, the situation is resolved, even though it doesn't take the other persons feelings into account. You want them to say whatever their honest reaction is, because that's the only way to learn how the feel about the matter and about what you did to them. Of course, the reverse is also true.
thatguyinthecorner 10th Feb 2016, 1:14 AM edit delete reply
thatguyinthecorner
I've been in similar situations. Well...kinda. Not for this but with a certain friend that I totally screwed over after...an emotional outburst I'm not proud of.

Difference here is, I'd caught myself immediately rather than weeks/months later. Too late though, even IF one of the guys involved forgave me a mew few months later.


But I wouldn't have Lemon if not for all that and no permanent damage was dealt to them, so all's well that ends well I suppose.



Now if only Aiken's situation was so simple.
Sobi 10th Feb 2016, 2:07 AM edit delete reply
Pleeeeeeeease let this end on a positive note i see only two ways this is ending and im hoping for a positive resolution
DocMesa 10th Feb 2016, 9:21 AM edit delete reply
Jessica looks really torn in the second-to-last panel. She definitely still has feelings for him, she's still pissed at him...but I think there's also some defensiveness there as well. Maybe she's thinking back to the way she came out to him.
Thank you 11th Feb 2016, 2:03 AM edit delete reply
Jocelyn,
I just went through the entire archive in two days. You have done a good thing here. You can have doubts about many things, but never doubt your talent for storytelling.
I cried
Zii 12th Feb 2016, 5:38 AM edit delete reply
I still find Jessica blameless. It shouldn't matter, and it's also her information to share as she will. She eventually DID share, of her own choosing (even if she was prompted into it), but even if she hadn't, she didn't have to share in the first place.

I do agree that it's not necessarily a good idea to have a relationship where you don't feel like you can trust your partner with your whole life, but I also don't fault her for not wanting to share that part about her. It certainly didn't help that Aiken snapped at her afterward.

It's... hard for me to read all these people laying blame on her for not sharing something so personal. It hurts to think people believe anyone is entitled to that information.

*sigh*
steveha 12th Feb 2016, 7:34 AM edit delete reply
You said "It's... hard for me to read all these people laying blame on her for not sharing something so personal. It hurts to think people believe anyone is entitled to that information."

But *marriage* is pretty darn personal. Marriage should be the entwining of two lives, ideally not to be separated for the rest of their lives. I would never have kept any big secret from my fiancee, and I never keep any big secrets from my wife. (Do I have secrets? Yes. Not big ones. If anyone tries to blackmail me with my wife, it won't work.)

I don't think anyone here thinks that Jessica should tell everyone she meets all her secrets. And while I think she was in the wrong not to tell him, I don't think that's the worst thing ever. Even he has come to understand, at least a bit, why she did it, and he has forgiven her.

But a secret of that magnitude, that was asking for trouble, really.
Some Ed 17th Jun 2017, 3:40 AM edit delete reply
At a bare minimum, she should have made sure he was at least educated on things trans. But she found him on a Christian website, so giving him that education would be a bit awkward. Especially since she was probably using the devout Christian card to avoid him feeling her where she didn't want him feeling until post-op.
Guest 13th Mar 2016, 10:53 PM edit delete reply
This page reminds me of 'Stuck in the Middle With You'.
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