Comic 747 - Accessories

22nd Oct 2015, 9:28 PM in Ch. 27: Same Girl, New Look
Accessories
Average Rating: 5 (7 votes)
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Author Notes:

Jocelyn 22nd Oct 2015, 9:28 PM edit delete
Jocelyn
Long blurb again.


Well, clip-ons are a thing too, Rain. (Not that I can judge. Mine aren't pierced either, despite having meant to do something about that for a few years now.) XD

As an addendum to the previous page/blurb, what does it mean to be feminine or masculine? The answer is going to be different for everyone. Trans girls and boys have their own varied spectrum of gender expression (cis girls and boys do too, of course!). Some of us (male and female alike) are more girly. Some are more butch. Some sit in the middle. Some try to identify with neither. Some even have their own fluid gradient. All are perfectly acceptable ways to be.

I would like to think it's apparent by now that Rain is what one might call a "girly girl". Never once in the comic has she been depicted wearing pants by choice. It's ALWAYS dresses and skirts if she can help it. And when she talks about what makes her feel feminine, she brings up make up and clothing and styling her previously long hair. I admit she can be a bit of a walking stereotype (yet another way she's based off me), but there's not actually anything wrong with that as long as we remember that this is NOT a static definition of femininity. In fact, I don't believe there is a definition that's one-size-fits-all so to speak. It's what she needs to make herself feel feminine. It's going to be different for everyone. "It's up the individual. We're just women in our own ways."

I could be mistaken, but the cis crowd probably doesn't think about this as much (and more power to you if you don't). But a lot of trans folk feel they need to work extra hard to be able to fit into the gender expression that feels right to them, allowing them to feel comfortable in their skin. It can be something as extravagant as decking oneself out to the nines, to as miniscule as wearing a single accessory. Maybe even just wearing certain types of clothes or even certain colors, or parting one's hair a certain way, or even just carrying around a small trinket that no one else even sees. The things that work for you can seem strange and irrelevant to others, but might just be essential for you. And again, we're all different, so it might be different for everyone.

I've noticed nails, earrings and/or heels are very common ones I've seen for trans women. For others (of either binary gender), just wearing certain underwear more attuned to their preferred expression (even if no one else ever sees it) can go a long way. When I was in high school, long before being out to anyone or starting transition, I used to wear stockings or a bra under my clothes. No one knew they were there, but I did. These would work miracles for me in those early years when I thought that transition would never happen for me.

"Neckcessories" are my thing now. Necklaces, chokers, collars, scarves, whatever. Just something on my neck. Sure, guys can and do wear things like that, but for one reason or another, it still helps me feel more feminine (for me; I do not think other women are less feminine if they aren't wearing something like that. It's my standard for me.).

And I hope this doesn't give off the wrong idea, but I also feel more feminine when I can show a little skin. I love skirts, dresses, and shorts, as well as low cut and/or sleeveless tops. I'm not looking for (nor even remotely interested in) other people's attention, but I can say I feel better about myself when I'm dressed like that. It helps to make me feel more feminine.

The important thing though - which I can't stress enough - is that it's what make me feminine and confident. It won't work for everyone. And trial and error was necessary. I always knew being male wasn't right for me, but it took a long time to figure out what kind of girl I actually was. So don't be afraid to try new, different things (even if they seem to be out of your comfort zone) because you might be surprised what feels right for you. Likewise, try not to be discouraged if the first thing doesn't work out. Trial and error means there will be some duds. It sucks, but it's not the end. If you keep trying, you'll find what works for you. ^_^

......

This got REALLY long and tangential again. Sorry. There was a lot I wanted to say. Like last time, I hope this is at least helpful or interesting. And "I hope that made sense and was also not offensive..." XD


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Comments:

Armymutt22 22nd Oct 2015, 9:42 PM edit delete reply
Hey, I'm most likely just missing something obvious here, but why do some characters wear differently coloured collars with their uniform? The default is obviously navy (Finding Emily, Rain, Maria and Gavin wearing it as examples), but then Chantel and Rudy have red and orange collars respectively? Might you offer some explanation, please?
T-Dog 22nd Oct 2015, 9:47 PM edit delete reply
I believe they indicate the class year of the student.
Jocelyn 22nd Oct 2015, 10:15 PM edit delete reply
Jocelyn
@Armymutt22

What T-Dog said. ^_^

More specifically:
Red - 9th Grade
Orange - 10th Grade
Green - 11th Grade
Blue - 12th Grade

And yes, it is intentionally in rainbow color order (albeit skipping a few). :D
Mina 23rd Oct 2015, 3:43 PM edit delete reply
I never noticed it before! :o
j-eagle12212012 22nd Oct 2015, 9:53 PM edit delete reply
j-eagle12212012
For me my hair is what makes me feel feminine, as for accessories I don't really have anything
Fairportfan 23rd Oct 2015, 12:04 AM edit delete reply
Well, we know where the girl posse are taking Rain right after school.

Hope she has less of a needle phobia than i do.
j-eagle12212012 23rd Oct 2015, 11:54 AM edit delete reply
j-eagle12212012
I read your comment completely forgetting that earings where being discussed in the comic and thought wouldn't a tattoo be against school policy XD
Zii 23rd Oct 2015, 12:19 AM edit delete reply
This is very interesting in conjunction with EGS:NP posted yesterday, which talks about Ellen wearing sexy outfits because they help her feel more secure.
Nightsky 23rd Oct 2015, 12:28 AM edit delete reply
Nightsky
What's the school's policy on hats? If Rain could find a cute hat that works with her hairstyle it could do wonders.
starsaber123 23rd Oct 2015, 2:21 AM edit delete reply
It's a catholic school, so no on the hats. Maybe some sort of headcover (I always thought they were doilies) if the school is super ultra conservative but I doubt it.
Tualha 23rd Oct 2015, 12:56 AM edit delete reply
Tualha
Yet :)
cjc333 23rd Oct 2015, 3:45 AM edit delete reply
I feel like my hair is what makes me feel feminine. Having long hair makes me feel okay wearing other typically "masculine" looking clothes, because there is something about me that just more obviously (or sometimes subtely) says girl.
Princess 23rd Oct 2015, 4:39 AM edit delete reply
Right to the heart of feeling feminine!

I've found that I have had internal blocks: "What do others think if I look too feminine?" Little by little I have overcome them and become the feminine girl I really am. And all the time happier and happier! <3
FrenzyJan 23rd Oct 2015, 6:27 AM edit delete reply
so, I read the whole story in two days ^_^.
Now I started rereading but combined with your comments. They aren't dreaded long, they are informative/educational and I can relate to it as a transguy myself. I still am looking for a balance between being myself vs overdoing it and acting 'masculine'. Trying to loose the bodybuilding a bit and I'm trying to enjoy my life more, than trying to convince people/myself, that I am a boy even though they don't see mee different XD
Mina 23rd Oct 2015, 4:16 PM edit delete reply
I, too, prefer dresses and skirts (though I like long ones better) over pants. ~

Rain somehow reminds me of Nitori from Wandering Son/Hourou Musuko here. I don't really know why... Anyway, that's not a bad thing. I liked Nitori (although the ending was a bit rushed). And I like Rain. ^^

And, Jocelyn, you'll have your ears pierced someday!
Jocelyn 23rd Oct 2015, 5:09 PM edit delete reply
Jocelyn
@Mina

I never finished Wandering Son. I loved everything I've read, but I hear a lot of people hated the ending (which perhaps has contributed to my not yet finishing it). All that said, I love Nitori too. I've even done fanart of her before. ^_^

http://jocelynsamara.deviantart.com/art/Clover-Hairpin-193548933

And there's so much talk of earrings due to this page, I may be getting influenced to have said piercing come sooner than later. XD
Zii 27th Oct 2015, 1:18 AM edit delete reply
The ending didn't bother me. It shifted tone and style a bit and kind of felt like a narrative that was losing scope, but it really kind of built up to the ending. The only thing I'm really sad about is that it ended where it did, leaving so much yet unsaid. It still gives me some shivers.

I absolutely recommend finishing it.
BillycannotFly 23rd Oct 2015, 8:26 PM edit delete reply
BillycannotFly
For me, I wear a watch wherever I go that my sister got me for my birthday. It just makes me feel so comfortable, and while I do think my hair helps me look more masculine, I think it also helps me look more "me" in a way that just happens to be masculine. But still, that watch.
Sophia Clay 23rd Oct 2015, 9:09 PM edit delete reply
I would say you hit the nail on the head. We all have out ticks that shape our view of what makes us acceptable or unacceptable in our chosen roles. It's a hard thing that I don't think we can (Or should) ever get completely over but knowing that it is totally subjective can help us stretch outside our comfort zone and really be happy.

A good look at how subjective it can be would be the subjective nature of beauty and how it varies between eastern and western culture. particularly the wrinkles in your eyelids. It is a HUGE thing to have your eyelids smoothed and any folds removed in certain Asian cultures, but for the most part in the US many would not even notice the difference.

This does not belittle that act and if it makes the person feel better about themselves then it IS important, but it is totally subjective.
Thatguyinthecorner 24th Oct 2015, 9:09 AM edit delete reply
This reminds me of Girl Friends.


Anyone else...?
Boogers 24th Oct 2015, 11:04 AM edit delete reply
Re: "what does it mean," for me being feminine means... sensing that I am, I guess, by an irrational cognitive faculty. It's why I used to feel guilty every time people referred to me as a boy or man, like I was being dishonest by not correcting them, and at the same time terrified of that false pretense being revealed. It's why, when in childhood I adopted a baby animal, I only knew how to think of myself as its mom rather than its dad, and I feel today the way I do when my friend talks about her experiences as a mother, especially experiences not possible for me. It's why I feel like a badass mama bear when I'm showing the guys at work how to do their jobs better than they previously knew, or helping some one understand something they've been struggling with.

In my case, I simply do feel feminine and the feelings influenced by my presentation choices are about how well or poorly I'm showing how I feel. On my worst "bad dysphoria days," it seemed like every conscious choice either felt like pretending to be masculine, or like "compensating for something," with no right place in between, but these days strangers' reactions are assuring me that I'm on a right track, so the "walking stereotype" notion has become just something to chuckle at rather than worry about. This aspect of transition so far has made me a believer in what Jocelyn's saying about confidence being part of a positive feedback loop.

Re: presentation choices, I guess I'm very atypical in that I don't do makeup or nail stuff, my hair's recently so short I can't even brush it, (though I plan on growing it back out and exploring fun stuff to do with it) I wear more modest tops than seems to be typical in my area, and I usually wear either comfy shoes obviously built for active use (current well-worn pair with purple accents!) or good solid "men's" work boots. On the other hand, I always wear skirts and dresses these days, sometimes with leggings, and I've been told that my boots look cute. (which I'm rather proud of; if I make those trompers look cute, I must be doing something right!) I tend to giggle and laugh a lot, and I've stopped trying to suppress that impulse. I don't know which of those hands these are on, if either, but I rarely go out without an obnoxiously cute & silly hat or some other accessory, I try to minimise black clothing in favour of kooky patterns and colour combinations.

Re: ear piercing, I intend to get mine done, too; my figure isn't very girly, so I REALLY like things that say "eyes up here, please." Besides that, I also like wearing silly things that say "harmless, approachable goofball," and there are some great ear rings for that. I hope I can get a hold of some cat bells and... Blaart, am I drowning y'all in text? I think I'm drowning myself in coffee. Oh, golly, thank you Jocelyn for this comic! I'll shut up for now. Blurb, blurb! \o/
Pavatti 24th Oct 2015, 7:42 PM edit delete reply
I actually really want to draw Rain with short hair, How does oe go about sending in Fanart?
Lauren Eclaire 10th Jan 2017, 4:09 AM edit delete reply
Hi, I just started reading Rain a few days ago, despite it having been on my list of things to read for quite a while now. I never seem to have time to sit and read stories much anymore, but I got sick about four days ago and couldn't do anything, so I decided "hey, let's sit down and read that trans focused comic we learned about a while ago". And I just wanted to say that the last couple pages I've read (the few pages up to this one, that were released over a year ago, but I wanted to comment here) have been extraordinarily helpful for me.

I finally started on hormones a month and a day ago (I'm still counting. XP), and one of the largest factors in me finally building up the courage to come out to my mother and ask for her financial support, as well as schedule an appointment with the clinic I was lucky enough to find (an absolutely amazing woman who did a lot of work with my university's medical school opened a clinic a while ago, partly wanted to make her own decisions on what to practice without conflict from other doctors, but also in part to create a safe and positive medical environment for trans people. She doesn't require a therapist's note to prescribe hormones, instead she prefers an informed consent model, and does everything from aiding with post-op care for transwomen to delivering babies for transmen. This is a gigantic aside that makes you forget what I was talking about before it, but I wanted to share that places like this exist, and my physician is very confident that they'll become increasingly more common in the next few years. We're making progress. ^_^ Back to what I was saying, please look back to remember what was happening, whoever is reading this), was the fact that my general stress level, due to college, social and general anxiety, plus the 2016 U.S. presidential election, combined with my testosterone and genetics were causing my hair to fall out and recede at a very uncomfortable rate. My hair has always been the biggest thing I've relied on for my presentation, aside from clothing. I've always worn it long and very similar to how Rain had hers at the start of the story actually, and I straightened it daily and did lots of fun things with it until college picked up and I became perpetually sleep deprived, so my depression which I'd been working on for four years since coming out to myself was beginning to come back in spades. I was on winter break when I started hormones, so I was free to get excited and squee lots with my friends who I'm open with, and I went from some of the worst months I've had in several years to one of the best I've ever had, despite barely anything having happened yet. But I went back to school for the first day of spring semester and all my fears about my appearance and passing piled up again, and the day started okay, but by the time I got home and looked in the mirror and how my appearance had deteriorated over the day due to the wind destroying my hair, the larger than usual area of skin near the front of my part, my skin getting oily over the course of the day due to movement, the stress from a lot of my interactions over the day, and so on and so forth, had me wanting to do nothing but curl up in a ball and cry. But I sat down and worked through another couple hundred pages of Rain, and the last few in particular, combined with the author's notes about the last few pages, have really helped me today. What being feminine means depends on the person, and having confidence in your identity and comfort with your presentation really is kinda everything with stuff like this, and I needed some perspective on that to regain that endless supply of self-esteem I've had over the last month. Things are changing, and I have so much motivation to throw at my appearance right now that I just have to keep up with it and be confident with where I'm going. It's hard to remember, especially when all the things you dislike about yourself sneak up on you and make you feel like you don't pass at all (I've had several friends point out during my more self-deprecating rants recently that having acne doesn't affect my femininity at all, since that's clearly a thing girls deal with. But it's something I dislike about myself, especially with how hard it is to stop and how long I just let it be out of a lack of care for myself, so it's something I obsess over and try really hard to deal with, and that creeps in when I'm in one of my bad states of mind), but finding things to remind you of this helps you keep focusing on the future and have confidence with where things are going. Anyways, I've rambled enough, but I wanted to say that somewhere, because I'm working on being more confident and open, and my erratic ranting will hopefully become less verbose and ramble-y once I figure out how to actually communicate. I apologize for the immense wall of text there's gonna be in this comment section now. XD

In short, thank you for writing Rain, and I'm super excited to see where the story goes from here. I dunno if you read comments on pages so far back, Jocelyn, but I wanted to say it at some point instead of hiding and never saying anything, so here's a good place to put this while I'm in a super emotional state. ^_^ Since I at least said it somewhere instead of typing it out then deleting it like usual.
Some Ed 16th Jun 2017, 11:02 PM edit delete reply
I know you're more interested in Jocelyn reading your response than some random MtF who will probably never actually transition, but I read every word of your comment. I feel your pain, I celebrate your victories, and I hope things get better for you, as I'm sure they will over time for our community as a whole. The 2016 US presidential election race may have been trying to all of us, but people are still doing their parts to get more people to understand who we are and what we stand for. Even though there have been major setbacks a lot of places, more people are coming to understand that we aren't bad people. I'm confident that there are a lot more LGBTQQAIPK people out there than anyone realizes, and one day, we will be accepted most places.
Drew 21st Jan 2017, 3:15 PM edit delete reply
I totally understand this. I probably do pass but I don't have enough confidence in myself, I don't think I pass, so I don't pass. However, I always feel confident when I have a hat on, a beanie to be particular. Wether it's the old, ratty orange one from when I was younger or the new black one with the eye from Welcome To Night Vale (a podcast) on it that I got for Christmas. Beanies ALWAYS make me feel good about myself, like a real boy. (I'm FtM, btw)
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