Comic 574 - A Real Girl

10th Aug 2014, 9:22 PM in Ch. 22: Valentine's Night
A Real Girl
Average Rating: 5 (8 votes)
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Author Notes:

Jocelyn 10th Aug 2014, 9:22 PM edit delete
Jocelyn
Fact: Trans girls ARE real girls. Trans boys ARE real boys. The sex we were assigned at birth is not our "real sex". We didn't "used to be" the sex we were assigned at birth. Our given name is not our "real name". We are exactly who and what we say we are.

Mind you, if anyone's gotten this far into the comic and hasn't realized this yet, I'd be surprised. Still, it's important so I wanted to make sure it was said.


©2004-2014
Rain, all characters and all other aspects of the story are copyright material belonging to me.

And don't forget, Rain - Volume 1 and 2 are available at Lulu!
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Comments:

RJp 10th Aug 2014, 9:39 PM edit delete reply
I really needed to read this today. I know it's true, my logical brain even knows this, but to have it confirmed this way is a good affirmation to the sub-conscious as well.
Jocelyn 10th Aug 2014, 9:42 PM edit delete reply
Jocelyn
@RJp

I know the feeling. Sometimes, we just need a reminder. :)
Torne 10th Aug 2014, 10:04 PM edit delete reply
Jocelyn, I must disagree with you on the "Used to be" aspect.

I feel that to claim "We didn't used to be men/women but were always men/women" before denies our pasts and all the efforts of trans up until now.

Allow me to give an example: An overweight person who loses weight WAS overweight but they are not anymore.
To say they were never overweight is akin to saying all the struggles, all the efforts and all pain they went through was pointless as nothing changed.
The same, at least to me, can be said about trans-people. The men and women forced change and struggled to do so. To deny them of their efforts with such simple words is insulting.

A long time ago I was told by a doctor I would never walk again due to a gunshot in the knee but I do walk, without assistance despite his words, words of medical authority.
I was also told I was male and that I would never be female but I am female despite what the world says or thinks.
I have changed my fate.
To say I was always female is to say my efforts were for nothing and amounted to nothing.
While I understand that many people use the "used to be" argument as a way to cast insults but it is also a measure of our strength. Proof we can overcome the very fabric of a cruel reality forced upon us.

Just the opinion of a fan and fellow trans. Regardless, stand strong and keep up the good work.

Guest 10th Aug 2014, 10:11 PM edit delete reply
Actually this is a pretty good point
Jocelyn 10th Aug 2014, 10:27 PM edit delete reply
Jocelyn
@Torne

You are welcome to feel that way, but that doesn't work for myself personally. My efforts were for so much, but I was never male. I had a body that was perceived as male, but I was not male. I was always a transgender female, and I always will be.

But even then, I know what I did and people can see what my efforts have earned for me. The proof is still there. I fought and cried and worked so hard to achieve this opportunity to have society accept what I am. Not to change what I am, but to accept what I am. I am exactly the same person I always was; I just wear prettier clothes now and nobody thinks it's weird if I walk into the ladies' room. I have overcome my cruel forced reality where I wasn't allowed to be myself, but I did as the trans woman I always was. Because I wouldn't have done what I've done if I wasn't trans female. A man wouldn't want to transition to be a woman, so I can't rationalize myself as ever having been one.

Again, you're welcome to disagree. I'm not trying to start a fight. This is just my personal outlook.
Torne 10th Aug 2014, 10:41 PM edit delete reply
@Jocelyn

I also was not trying to start an argument but merely trying to understand your point of view and state mine.

I suppose the tipping point of our two arguments is the "Changed" part.
If I am reading this right, you didn't so much as change but accept what you were and bring that acceptance to society. While I changed myself to accept what I was and brought that change to society.

In other words, we seem to have the same point of view but have different ways of seeing it. We both have overcome reality but it seems our "styles" differ. Two sides of the same coin, as it were.

Is this correct or have I missed something?
Jocelyn 10th Aug 2014, 10:49 PM edit delete reply
Jocelyn
@Torne

Touché. I would say you are correct. My wording/style is more accurate for me, as yours is for you, though we essentially come to the same conclusion. When put like that, I don't think either of us is wrong. :)
Torne 10th Aug 2014, 10:52 PM edit delete reply
@Jocelyn

^_^ THIS is what I love about intelligent people.
Allie 17th Aug 2014, 5:36 AM edit delete reply
I'm inclined to agree with Jocelyn, but I feel like this probably depends on how much you think of your self/mind as something separate/distinct from your body. This is actually a difficult topic for me, as I am personally of the belief that there is no afterlife, and that my mind/self is the product of the physical laws of this world/universe coming together in what I can only describe as a beautiful coincidence of miraculous proportion. Given my belief that the mind is not merely housed in, but a product of the physical brain found in my body, you might expect me to take Tome's view, based on the notion that In the past I had a body that more or less conformed to that of a man. But I have never had the opportunity to pull my brain out of my body, and compare it's structure, and connections with that of other males, and females, and as such am left only with my sense of self to fall back on, and that sense is that I am a woman, and while my understanding of those feelings, has evolved over time, the feelings themselves have always been there.
Tranquility 11th Aug 2014, 3:55 AM edit delete reply
I'm cis female, straight, so my view is probably kinda blinkered and I apologise if I accidentally use offensive terminology or make assumptions - please correct me if needed!

It seems to me it would be accurate to say that by SEX you were once female and changed to male, but by GENDER you were always male, or vice versa?
Guest 12th Aug 2014, 5:59 AM edit delete reply
The comment of "biological sex" or whatever is largely pretty irrelevant, as it's usually just used to gender trans people's bodies against their will. If you want to refer to someone's chromosomes, talk about their chromosomes, or if you want to refer to specific physical features, refer to their specific physical features. Saying that a trans person "is the sex they were assigned at birth" is a completely unnecessary implicit misgendering.
Synergiance 16th Mar 2016, 8:44 AM edit delete reply
I'm going to have to agree with both of you here, and hear me out on why. I believe that every transwoman has always been a woman inside, and every transman has always been a man inside. I don't believe that discounts the hard efforts we go through though, and we have a right to have that undiscounted. Comparing losing weight to transitioning loses a little bit in the comparison, where losing weight is purely physical, transgender has a mental implication too, the fact is the mind does not change but the body does, and that's the entire point, the difficulty of changing the body to fit our minds, if I wasn't a real woman before transitioning then there would be no point in going through all the hard effort of transitioning anyways, not to mention all the difficulties and trauma of being misgendered and refused. Being a real woman before transitioning has a ton of significance in that it validifies our need to transition in the first place, and I'm going in circles at this point so I'll cut it off here to spare everybody.
To all transfolk pre-transition: good luck and stay strong in your transitions, I know you can do it
To transition complete transfolk: I look forward to joining you in being feature complete some day in the future
To all cis people out there: Kindly give any transperson you know the support and courage they need, they need it, and I'm sure you can be the best person in the world to them especially since you're reading this webcomic, so thank you for understanding us, I hope you have a transperson who can rely on your goodness :)
jelliphish 11th Aug 2014, 1:00 AM edit delete reply
I FINALLY GET WHY THEY'RE HOLDING UMBRELLAS AND THE WHOLE RAIN THING NOW FOR THE BANNER

Please tell me I'm not the last person to realize this... ^^;
Nightsky 11th Aug 2014, 2:27 AM edit delete reply
Nightsky
You're not. I never thought into it that much. xD
Lex-Kat 24th Nov 2016, 5:01 PM edit delete reply
Lex-Kat
Wait... what umbrellas?
Noelle 11th Aug 2014, 3:00 AM edit delete reply
I'm neither. Fucking intersex... I mean, I'm female, even genetically, but I'm not winning the "most uterus-y of the year" award any time soon.

Goddammit...
jjbob1234 11th Aug 2014, 3:28 AM edit delete reply
jjbob1234
I just spent the last 4 nights reading every page of this, and i have to say this is the cutest webcomic i've ever read, i'm gonna continue reading every new page, i love these characters! (some even remind me of a few of my actual friends) keep up the good work! :D
j-eagle12212012 11th Aug 2014, 11:58 AM edit delete reply
j-eagle12212012
We need more people like Emily in this world :)
Guest 12th Aug 2014, 2:53 AM edit delete reply
You're exactly the same as me Maria Chanel Kylie and ruby
A. Marina Fournier 20th Oct 2014, 11:23 PM edit delete reply
At some point during college, I realized that gender and body details (figured that out in high school) didn't matter to me: I was attracted to the spirit inside the person. Helped if there was a great sense of humor, a pleasant voice, and Eyes of Distraction, but it's the person inside which makes my heart go pitty-pat.
Azure 17th Jun 2015, 12:08 AM edit delete reply
I love this page, and Emily is quickly becoming a favorite character. ^^

Also, to Jocelyn: this is an older page, obviously, but I'm not up to date on the comic yet (reading through the archive pretty quickly though)so I'll just leave this here and hope you notice.

I just wanted to thank you for making Rain. It's a good story, really cute, fun to read, and one of the best examples of a story with extremely positive portrayals of LGBT+ characters. I first came across it years ago, and at the time, I was repressed and had no idea yet that I was trans, but I think I may have taken an interest in your comic out of what I can only describe as a strange fascination with trans-related stories, that I've come to realize now was probably a manifestation of repressed feelings, which I'd sort of buried in myself for awhile, starting to surface. I didn't figure everything out right away on encountering your comic, but it was one of the first (if not the very first; the memories are a bit fuzzy) positive, humanizing, and "real" portrayals of a trans character (and protagonist, no less!)I'd ever seen. My brain was stubborn and slow about letting me put the pieces together, so it was still a couple years until I figured myself out, so to speak, but I think I have Rain to thank for helping me realize that being trans is okay, not a delusion, etc., and those were particularly hard mental blocks for me to overcome, personally. Now I'm several months on hormones, and almost a year of presenting as female full-time, and I'm happier than I've been at any other point in my life. ^^ Anyway, I just recently re-discovered Rain and decided to re-read/catch up on the new content, and I just though while I was at it, I'd drop a thank-you to you for the influence the comic had on me back then. Keep being awesome. ^^

-Jorie
jackrich 31st Jul 2015, 11:00 PM edit delete reply
Emily emily emily... mature and true...sigh...
I now have toot feels on maybe half the main cast... damnit all Samwise Gamgee!
Zi 26th Aug 2015, 2:27 PM edit delete reply
I think this is the first time a panel has made me outright cry... Hard... Second to last panel really hit home, because... This whole page, I am right with Rain. Its why I don't want to tell people. I don't want to be seen differently. I want to be a girl, without excess baggage or stigma or judging or "oh, that explains a lot."

I'm crying again... ^^;
Synergiance 16th Mar 2016, 8:30 AM edit delete reply
I feel like these are words every trans person needs to hear, far too often I'm told that I don't even look like a girl and that people will have a hard time accepting me, I'm told by people they're "uncomfortable" with me and that they refuse to use the proper names and pronouns. I'm told that gendering me properly in public is equivilent to them "doing all the hard work for me" which no transperson should have to hear, ever.
bgb16999 27th Jan 2017, 5:56 AM edit delete reply
bgb16999
"Mind you, if anyone's gotten this far into the comic and hasn't realized this yet, I'd be surprised."
So, if Maria and Rudy's parents read this comic, what would they think?
(Assuming they didn't just put it down on page one because "anyone who reads that will go to hell" or some such nonsense).
(Also assuming that them reading the story can't alter the story, e.g., they can't use what they learn about Rudy's and Maria's actions by reading the comic to inform what they do in the story.)
Emily 16th Aug 2017, 6:04 PM edit delete reply
So I'm a trans woman as well and I choose Emily as my name a long time ago. At first i thought it sucked that I shared Emily's name because she seemed so stuck up but the more she's developed the more I love having the same name as someone so awesome! Thank you for writing this comic, it has helped me so much with my dysphoria and depression. Much love!
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