So, let's get right into it: the name. People have been asking about this nonstop since Wednesday. If Colette is a guy, what should we actually be calling him? Well, my answer remains the same as with any other trans person: whatever they say they want to be called. Where it admittedly gets tricky here, is that he hasn't specified. All we really know is that he's ultimately leaning away from ones that sound similar to his given name. So Collin (and other "Co-" names) are probably right out.
I have a name in mind for him, but I want him to be the one to actually say it. So, Colette is fine for right now, because he's hasn't said not to say it. I realize this probably sounds absurd to some people, but I think it's important not to project how others should transition and let them go at their own pace. I knew a girl who kept her distinctly masculine name several years into her transition because it just meant something to her. I knew a guy who didn't want to start HRT because he didn't want to lose his singing voice from the Testosterone. These people are valid! They are trans even regardless of their circumstances. Whether they don't change their names or don't take homones, their experience is valid.
To go kinda roundabout with all this: all I'm saying is that it's okay to call him Colette for now. As long as you're acknowledging he's a man, that's the important thing. For now, let's just try to be patient and let him announce his own name in time. :)
Perhaps he can wear those super-flowy pants that *look* like skirts, as a compromise? Or have a change of outfit stashed that he can change into once he gets to prom?
I think he should go out with a bang. With Ruby's help he should get an outrageously femme gown with all the trimmings and just camp it up, so years later if they saw pics of the prom no one would EVER clock him!
I think Col would make a good nickname for now until he finds a name he truly likes.
On another note, Jocelyn, I really do like how you've written your characters to be more than what their gender/sexual identity is. Everyone has a true character to them that makes them all the more endearing and that's what really gets me hooked onto your comics. That and your art style which is very cute. :)
I know! Get a large-ish dress with a frame, and then hide all the parts to a tuxedo underneath, pop into a locker room and change, rinse and repeat for going home.
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Vecro it all and "tear" off the dress at prom in the most dramatic way plausible.
I also see that this gives the story a new side - the Rain we know and adore has for 99.99% of the story been been mid-end stage transition Rain, outside of a few childhood flashbacks. Through our new character we'll get to see their own transition, and likely some help from Rain as she uses experience form her own.
On a side note, I'd love to see a Catholic school erupt in a humorous civil war of rolled-up artwork and nerf guns as the entire student body comes out as at least Bi, and father Quenton attempts to enforce a catholic homework and bible reading gulag. Wacky imagination for the win!
"at least Bi" can be seen, out of context, as offensive in a number of ways. In context it is only a little better. (A Homosexual character is more LGBTQ+ than a bi character?). If you feel the need to use "at least" then refer directly to something like the Kinsey scale. Better yet, reword to avoid the term.
Great page, makes me miss crossdressing, Rudy's relationship with it seems similar to mine. Zen, and it helps me express certain parts of my feminine side.
Heh. It reminds of before my transition, where my spouse would refer to me as "this one" if I was around and had to present in drab for whatever reason, just so she wouldn't have to deadname or misgender me, but also not out me. It was a nice little compromise. ^_^
This gives me the idea of a trans person hiring Morgan Freeman to 3rd person narrate everything to avoid deadnaming and misgendering in the funniest way possible.
It's also interesting, as my girlfriend and I are both trans, but sometimes we use "this one" just to be cute, and not related to avoiding gender stuff.
Haha, same. I don't know how to refer to closeted trans people tbh, but I try to not deadname/misgender if I can which leads to some pretty awkward sentences.
You're lucky English isn't a much gendered language... French and romance languages are horrible in this aspect, only she and he are grammatically accepted. You can still use a mix of them, such as 'iel' (il + elle) but then, aside from the lgbt+ community no one will understand.
I have a lot of reasons I can't start medically transitioning yet and even more why I am mostly in drab (which, on a trans guy, people actually don't notice until they want to police "how" trans "enough" someone is since, for enough other reasons, a binder is out of the question. And so then people are like "okay, so pronouns? Names?" and I am like "well, I would prefer he or she since I'm not out to everyone, so just pick one." And people are always like "so they" and I'm like "no...not what I said." I prefer using they for everyone, though people are finicky if used on someone that's picked a pronoun and I feel the same. At the moment, I've picked he or she.
To me, I know I'm a guy. I know I'm not "putting the effort" into looking like a guy, though. I know I can't come out to most of my family. So, to me, why put my friends through the back and forth until I'm sold on a name and can commit to a pronoun. So then I just hear "so are you serious about transitioning."
So this page and your commentary, is so nice and I wish I could make everyone read it. That's all.
I've been fully out for over two years and still don't have a name, so good luck with that, ha. My friends and family just call me by a shortened version of my birthname, and my birthname isn't even masculine or feminine cause it's made up, so.
They should get Ky to come along on the shopping trip. Ky can give Colette tips on how to present male and they can commiserate with each other about prom dates that insist on you wearing dresses when you'd rather wear a tux.
I went to my prom in a dress and makeup because I thought I had to and to be honest, it was horrible. (Although i never wore dresses, even then) The whole time I was wishing Id had the nerve to show up in a tux and then when I went in a dress it pretty much felt like if going in a dress was my only option, then I shouldnt have gone at all. All said, I think prom is over rated. I had a way better time just hanging out with my friends the night after
I'm visiting my friend's family, but my friend's isn't out to their parents about their gender identity. We'd both rather that I don't use he/him pronouns, but also we don't want to out them to their family. Are there any ways to circumnavigate using pronouns without just repeating my friend's name three times a sentence?
Rudy's doing good. I really sympathise with Collette, though; the transition between high school and college would be the obvious time for the other transition too but it'll still feel a long time.
I'd go for Sam, by the by, both because the association with Mr. Colt would give an oblique reference to his old name and because the short form can be gender-neutral if (he feels) he needs it to be. But that's just me being weird.
if someone says they are trans, then they are trans. period. I have an amazing friend who refuses HRT or any form of surgery because he has very easy pregnancies, and he surrogates for people. His husband is super supportive, as well.
On another note, Jocelyn, I really do like how you've written your characters to be more than what their gender/sexual identity is. Everyone has a true character to them that makes them all the more endearing and that's what really gets me hooked onto your comics. That and your art style which is very cute. :)
Or-
Vecro it all and "tear" off the dress at prom in the most dramatic way plausible.
On a side note, I'd love to see a Catholic school erupt in a humorous civil war of rolled-up artwork and nerf guns as the entire student body comes out as at least Bi, and father Quenton attempts to enforce a catholic homework and bible reading gulag. Wacky imagination for the win!
Heh. It reminds of before my transition, where my spouse would refer to me as "this one" if I was around and had to present in drab for whatever reason, just so she wouldn't have to deadname or misgender me, but also not out me. It was a nice little compromise. ^_^
That's adorable :3
It's also interesting, as my girlfriend and I are both trans, but sometimes we use "this one" just to be cute, and not related to avoiding gender stuff.
To me, I know I'm a guy. I know I'm not "putting the effort" into looking like a guy, though. I know I can't come out to most of my family. So, to me, why put my friends through the back and forth until I'm sold on a name and can commit to a pronoun. So then I just hear "so are you serious about transitioning."
So this page and your commentary, is so nice and I wish I could make everyone read it. That's all.
I'm visiting my friend's family, but my friend's isn't out to their parents about their gender identity. We'd both rather that I don't use he/him pronouns, but also we don't want to out them to their family. Are there any ways to circumnavigate using pronouns without just repeating my friend's name three times a sentence?
I'd go for Sam, by the by, both because the association with Mr. Colt would give an oblique reference to his old name and because the short form can be gender-neutral if (he feels) he needs it to be. But that's just me being weird.